I heard quite a few negative reviews about this film, and then I remember hearing one positive review, so I gave it a shot. I hope that one person who gave it a positive review is currently in Hell getting raped by Satan. I held off for quite some time when it came to adding this film to my queue, getting it confused with the Masters of Horror episode of the same name. In retrospect, I wish that I had either watched that episode multiple times, or that I had stabbed myself in the eyes, ears, and dick (for good measure) rather than watch this steaming pile of shit.
Oh, I get it, the bloody axe and bat are juxtaposed by the nice clothing. That is so original! Good job everyone!
Remember being in high school? Man, that shit was tough. Girls not liking you, teachers making fun of you, your band not being able to play the school dance, and nobody coming to the Sci Fi club meetings. Imagine if you also had zombies showing up! Oh no! That would suck! I gotta be honest…I feel like I blacked out from stupidity while watching this film. I know that there were zombies, and high schoolers, and a gym teacher, and at one point a band plays music that distracts the zombies. Some characters lived, some died, some didn’t die that you wish had, and then the credits roll. MAGNIFICENT!
Two characters had a crush on each other, but didn’t embrace that crush until they both became zombies and made out in a bathroom stall. It’s like this movie was made for Twilight fans that wanted to feel edgy.
Awful. Just awful. Imagine Degrassi, but with zombies. I’m sure some of you secretly like Degrassi, which makes you an idiot, but still, it was even dumber than that show. Have you guys seen the movie Brick? A great noir film set in high school, without a bunch of whiney stupid bitches. Or even the TV show Veronica Mars, once again set in high school, but didn’t succumb to typical melodramatic bullshit. Also, Veronica Mars stars Kristen Bell, which puts it high above anything else ever, but that’s besides the point. The characters in Dance of the Dead were all stereotypical characters, nothing exciting happened at any point, and it makes you hate your life and destroys your soul. Don’t watch it. Ever.
Wolfman Moon Scale