The Walking Dead [REVIEW]

October 31, 2010 Leave a comment

 

Did you guys know that the TV show started as a comic book? Whoa! A comic book being adapted into a different medium in hopes of entertaining the masses? UNHEARD OF! Sorry kids, the Hollywood machine is once again taking something that you love, which obviously you are so cool for liking, and turning it into something that more people can enjoy. That’s what I’ll never understand about remakes or adaptations. When someone doesn’t like it, they act all butthurt like they are the only person out there who knows what it is, and that everyone else has taken crazy pills. Well, guess what, the remake/adaptation couldn’t really move forward if someone somewhere who was somehow attached to the project said, “Sure! Go for it!”, and if they are willing to take a chance, then so should you. I got the opportunity to see the series premiere of The Walking Dead, which starts TONIGHT on AMC, but before I get to that, let’s talk a little about the comic book.

 

The poor guy doesn’t even have any panties on.

In the first few panels of the comic book, we see a police officer getting shot in a firefight and fall into a coma. He wakes up in the hospital much later, but healed. He can’t seem to find anyone, and the only people he sees are dead bodies. The first sign of movement is actually from a corpse that was presumed to be dead, and just like that, it’s off to the races. The story follows our “hero”, Rick Grimes, in his attempt to find his family and put together some sort of semblance of life. What happened? Why did it happen? Are there more people out there? These are all questions posed in the pages written by Robert Kirkman and artists Tony Moore and later Charlie Adlard. Well, spoiler alert, yes Rick finds his family very early on, as well as a few other survivors that are asking themselves the same questions.

 

Just drive the tank on top of them, you dipshits!

Obviously I am a fan of zombies, so I started reading this series back in 2005 and have been buying it monthly for years now. The black and white images combined with the talented writing of Kirkman is what makes me keep coming back, month after month. What really separates this story from the plethora of every other zombie stories ever told is its longevity. The comics have been published for seven years now, and there is still the familiar core of characters. No other zombie movie/comic/show/book has been able to do what Kirkman has with Walking Dead. Let’s compare to Romero‘s “Dead” movies. They all take place in one universe that slowly decays into oblivion, but it’s different characters throughout. Once the credits roll, we don’t see those characters in that universe ever again. Add to that the fact that the films seems to jump years, and even decades, with each successive film, and you get an idea of the universe, but not all the details. That all changed with Walking Dead. You have one group of characters and we have seen them at their highest and lowest moments. We have seen them succeed and fail. We don’t know what their future holds, which is why we come back every single month to see what is happening. The series is about 80 issues in, and Kirkman has yet to resort to giving a cause for the zombie apocalypse because he doesn’t have to. It’s not about wanting to know why these things happened, we want to see how these characters pull through and find reasons to go on. With every issue we question who The Walking Dead really are; are they the zombies who got up and started walking around, or are all of these characters just delaying their inevitable deaths and are the dead objects that are still on their feet?

 

AMC’s Walking Dead glamour shot. Or, promo shot. Whatever.

The words “Walking Dead TV Series” sent chills down the spines of everyone who has ever read this book. Bad chills. In the months to come, however, more and more details emerged that sent the good chills. This show was going to be on AMC, the cable channel responsible for such shows as Mad Men and Breaking Bad, some of the best shows on television in the past decade. Robert Kirkman being as involved as he is in the whole process, making sure everything was done correctly. The series being helmed by Frank Darabont, director of The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile, and the criminally underrated The Mist. In-depth videos of behind the scenes footage that showed you just how close to the comic the series will be, even down to the detail and time spent on one single zombie. All these things started to send good chills down people’s spines. As I mentioned, I got a chance to see the first episode, and it’s as good as you can imagine. People were worried about a horror comic book show being on a cable channel, but take it from me, the violence is not at all tamed down. The comic never really relied on cursing to get their point across, so just because they can’t yell, “HOLY FUCK IT’S A ZOMBIE,” doesn’t mean you won’t get to see a zombies brains get splattered everywhere after it explodes. However, keep in mind, that the episode that debuts on Halloween is merely a starting point. They have already approved a second season, so get prepared for the long haul. You might, like me, watch the first episode and wonder “I waited this long for that?“, but it’s only an indicator of things to come. This might go down as one of the best horror TV shows since Tales from the Darkside or even Are You Afraid of the Dark?.

 

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The Deaths of Ian Stone (2007) [REVIEW]

October 27, 2010 Leave a comment

 

Starting a few years ago, there has been a big resurgence in horror, and a lot of higher budget straight to video stuff. Between the 8 Films to Die For, After Dark Horrorfest, and the Masters of Horror Series, it’s been pretty difficult to pick out what straight to video horror is good, and what’s bad. I’ve seen most of the Masters of Horror series, and most of them suck. I’ve seen a few of the After Dark Horrorfest films as well, and nothing stood out. This film was part of the After Dark Horrorfest in 2007 and was recommended to me, and the idea of it seemed interesting enough, so I gave it a shot. Although I love the attention that horror films have been getting lately, I’m nervous of saturating the market with shitty titles that will turn a profit. Either way, I’m watching them, which I’m guessing is all they are concerned about.

 

I know these guys look like rejects from The Matrix, but they, uhh, wait, they might actually be rejects from The Matrix.

Ian Stone, played by Mike Vogel, is a hockey player in college. He is driving his girlfriend, played by Christina Cole,  to her house when he sees a figure in the middle of the road. He goes to help whatever it is, and it kills him. He then wakes up in an office, a few years later. He tries to remember things about his hockey team with his new, different girlfriend, played by Jaime Murray, and he is no longer in the yearbook. The next day a strange man says someone is after Ian, and then that man is killed. He goes home to tell his girlfriend, and her arm turns to some sort of demon arm and she kills him. He then wakes up a few years later…starting to see a pattern? Well, it turns out that Ian is being hunted by beings known as “Harvesters” that steal the fear that someone releases right before they reach a violent death. Ian apparently used to be a Harvester but somehow changed his destiny and is involved in a game set up by the rest of the Harvesters where he continuously gets killed after the fear is sucked out of him. Eventually Ian returns to his true Harvester form and kills everyone who is hunting him, and he is able to go back into his past and relive things in a much better way with his original girlfriend.

 

Haha, it looks like she’s killing him with her boner knife slicer thing.

This film suffers from a serious case of Clive Barker Syndrome. What is Clive Barker Syndrome, you might ask? Well, I’ll tell you. It’s when a movie is interesting and you are following it and are interested in what happens, then halfway through some sort of crazy shit starts happening that doesn’t really make much sense, and you lose interest in anything that happens to the main character because it’s so crazy. Don’t get me wrong, Clive Barker Syndrome isn’t always a bad thing, and in fact, some movies are successful with these twists, but unfortunately for Ian Stone, it just doesn’t pay off. I feel like someone saw Groundhog Day and thought it would be cool to make it a horror movie, and then halfway through filming they realized they needed some sort of reasons for what was happening. I guess if you’re a fan of Clive Barker and demons, you might be interested in this movie, but to everyone else, FUCKING SKIP IT.

 

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Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! (2008) [REVIEW]

October 27, 2010 2 Comments

 

I wish I had a better memory sometimes, because then I would be able to talk about why this movie made its way into my Netflix queue. To be completely honest? I just don’t remember how, but then it showed up and I saw what it was about, and wondered if maybe that’s why it made its way on the list. It’s about strippers. And zombies. Two things that I generally enjoy. But even still, I had difficulty finding the time to actually watch this movie. It reminded me of a movie I bought without having heard anything about called “Die You Zombie Bastards!“. I mean, come on! How could a movie like that possibly be anything less than what I anticipated! Well, DYZB! sucked and for the most part, so did Z! Z! Z! Maybe that’s the problem, using exclamation points in the title. If anyone can point me in the direction of a movie with exclamation points in the title that isn’t a pile of shit, make sure to let me know.

 

SPOILER ALERT: These three strippers make it out alive. You’re pissed, I can tell.

There’s a doctor in a lab who is working on regenerating cells in rats who is interrupted by someone he knows looking for drugs. When the doctor looks the other way, the drug fiend steals a bunch of drugs, thinking that it’s crack, and leaves. He starts doing the drugs with a hooker and they both turn to zombies. The hooker likes hanging out near a strip club, so that’s how we end up with this movie involving zombies and strippers. It’s a bunch of strippers and a pimp and they are pretty much trapped inside. One guy manages to make it to the laboratory and finds the cure for whatever is going on, but rather than taking it back with him, he accidentally injects himself with it. WHOOPS! They make it back to the strip club, but the guy who injected himself with the cure gets bitten, which, surprisingly, causes the zombie that bites him to explode. Having discovered that his blood is now the cure, there are scenes of this guy allowing zombies to bite him in order to kill them. Eventually all of the zombies die and the strippers leave to go do meth and beat their children, or whatever it is that strippers do in their spare time.

 

Since the virus was green, the cure needed to be pink! OPPOSITES YAY!!!

Clearly this movie is a piece of shit. You can tell from reading the title alone that it will be awful. Expecting something good to come from watching this movie is a giant waste of time. HOWEVER, the last 20 minutes of this movie were somewhat enjoyable, or at least more enjoyable than everything that preceded it. One reason is that the effects at the end suddenly got a LOT better. Not that they were mind-blowing or anything like that, but they were gory enough and realistic enough that it was a striking contrast compared to the rest of the movie. Also, the idea of someone becoming the cure was pretty interesting and I can’t think of another zombie movie that had a similar cure. Not that we haven’t seen movies where the fate of humanity rests squarely on one set of shoulders, but I’ve never actually seen someone sacrifice themselves because their biology is what kills zombies. It’s weird how this movie was released the same year as Zombie Strippers, and the major difference being budget. Zombie Strippers is mildly entertaining and is almost the same exact premise, and I wish that they could have taken some of the ideas from Z! Z! Z! and just incorporated them into the budget of Zombie Strippers and killed two birds with one stone. Only drawback to that is you wouldn’t have the same amount of boobs being shown. There’s always gotta be a catch though, am I right?!

 

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Shock Waves (1977) [REVIEW]

October 27, 2010 1 Comment

 

This film is another selection from the Fangoria book about underrated horror films. They kept talking about Nazis and zombies, a great combination, and the fact that Peter Cushing was in it. I knew that name, but just could not put a face to it. While watching the movie I kept thinking “Is that guy Peter Cushing? Maybe it’s that guy.” Eventually, when the commander of the SS Zombies made his appearance, I realized, “HOLY SHIT, THAT’S GRAND MOFF TARKIN!”. Ya know, from Star Wars. Other than the fact that ALL of my memories of Star Wars are awesome, Grand Moff Tarkin holds an even closer place to my heart than other Star Wars memories. The first is that when I used to play the Stars Wars Customizable Card Game (CCG, for short), I remember how awesome it was to play Grand Moff Tarkin. I also had no idea what his name was before I got that pack of cards. By the way, the Star Wars CCG was like Magic: The Gathering, but wasn’t dorky, since it was Star Wars. The other memory was sitting outside of a hardcore show in Easthampton, MA, waiting for the next band to go on, while a group of people were talking about Star Wars and I was merely listening in on them. At some point in the conversation, someone said, “Yeah and there was that old guy who looked like a skeleton…” and I loudly exclaimed out of anger, “EXCUSE ME, BUT THAT OLD GUY WAS GRAND MOFF TARKIN”, or something to that effect. Everyone looked at me and realized what a huge dork I was, and I think my friend Billy was the only one who actually laughed, while everyone else cowered in fear of nerd rage.

 

“Governor Tarkin…I should have expected you to be wearing an ascot something something Darth Vader” – Princess Leia

There are a bunch of people on a boat, doing things that people on boats do. They just boat around, wear swimsuits, and boat around some more. One night, the person steering the ship encounters some sort of “ghost ship” that causes him to veer off course and run aground. While investigating a nearby island, the boaters find different laboratories and buildings that looked like they were at some point inhabited. They eventually come across Grand Moff Tarkin and it turns out that he was an ex-Nazi scientist who was in charge of a project to create super Nazi soldiers. It kind of worked, kind of didn’t work, and there were Nazi zombies out to get everyone on the island. Well, actually, they weren’t “technically” zombies, but close enough. They also hated sunlight and wore really thick sunglasses. There is running around and chasing of people, and I got bored and kind of stopped paying attention. I think the zombies caught Grand Moff Tarkin though? Who knows.

 

I know they’re supposed to be zombies and everything, but do they have to be so yucky looking?! Put those sunglasses back on!

There are lots of positive reviews about this movie, but it just didn’t really do it for me. Obviously it was awesome to see Grand Moff Tarkin alive and well, when he was alive and well almost 35 years ago, but nothing really drew me in. It wasn’t quite supernatural, because technically these Nazis were science experiments, so it wasn’t really all that scary for me. I have a hard time giving it a bad score, because I feel like maybe I was missing something. It wasn’t that anything about this film was done poorly or anything like that, it was actually an interesting plot. I just don’t think this one was for me, sadly. I’m sure it’s for someone, like Peter Cushing’s relatives, who are hopefully getting residuals from this, but I am not related to him. Oh, and I used to always think his name in Star Wars was “Grandma Tarkin”, which didn’t make any sense. I was an idiot, way back then.

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The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) [REVIEW]

October 25, 2010 6 Comments

 

Believe it or not, I’ve only seen this movie a handful of times. Not because it’s bad or anything like that, but just because it is so unsettling. I went to a midnight show of this with “JD”, as he prefers to be known on the internet, and it was for a film school. This means the film was introduced by someone who had apparently read a bunch of articles and interviews about it, making him certified to also answer questions after the film. I was surprised to see how many people there had never seen this movie before, so I just assumed they were all a bunch of pretentious film school dorks that are too busy watching Gus Van Sant or Sofia Coppola bullshit.

 

Check out that butt! This butt dies so quickly, do don’t get too attached.

The soothing voice of John Larroquette lets us know that what we are about to see is based on true events that took place in August of 1973. A group of teens is travelling through Texas and they meet a hitchhiker. He goes crazy and talks about the slaughterhouse that’s nearby, but he stabs the wheelchair-bound teen and they kick him out. The van runs out of gas, so in an attempt to find help, the teens one-by-one encounter the hitchhiker’s family, and more specifically, the retarded chain saw wielding Leatherface. One-by-one they arrive and one-by-one they die. Until they get to Sally, played by Marilyn Burns, who is taken captive. Sally must sit and watch the chaotic frenzy that they call “dinner”, until they introduce her to Grandpa, who is legendary for how easily he could slaughter cows. When presenting Sally to a hammer-wielding Grandpa, he keeps missing, and she eventually escapes. The hitchhiker gets run over by a giant truck, Sally jumps in the back of a pickup, and Leatherface is left standing in the road, swinging his chainsaw like a goddamned madman as the credits then appear onscreen.

 

You know he’s a professional killer, because he wears a tie while killing people.

This film is typically included in every single “Scariest Movies Ever” list, but I feel like your average person doesn’t really know why it’s so terrifying. I’m sure some people would argue that I am also just your average person and have no idea what I’m talking about, so fuck those people. I find it so terrifying because of how unconventional it is, by not only today’s standards, but by standards set during the 60’s and 70’s. Most scary films up to this point were about mood and tone and an overall sense of creepiness. They didn’t really rely on too many “jump scares”, but more just the overall spookiness. TCSM is not at ALL spooky. This film punches you in the nuts, spits in your face, then goes about its business. The first time you see the villain? He pops out from around a corner with no warning, smashes someone over the head with a mallet, then slams the door shut, leaving us with no idea of who that was or why it happened. Also keep in mind, that this is after about 45 minutes with the expendable teenagers, who before we had an idea of what was happening to them, they were just dead. That’s it. No explanation, just dead.

 

Everyone in this picture is so ugly! It must be like at Megan Fox‘s family reunion. Not pictured: lots of toe thumbs.

Even if you don’t speak any english, I would assume this film would be extremely unsettling as just a visual and auditory frenzy. The scene involving Sally having dinner with all the psychopaths feels like it was edited by Edward Scissorhands, as there seems to be no rhyme nor reason to why the edits and cuts are made. It’s extremely disjointed, going from shots of the family at the table, to close-ups of Sally’s face, to extreme close-ups on her eyeballs, back to the family, back to eyeballs. Add to that, most of what you hear during this scene are the sounds of Sally screaming, causing the family to scream, making Sally scream more. It’s a scene that you kind of just want to turn the volume down for or maybe fast-forward. Moments like that make up most of the second half of the movie, either using erratic edits or just the sounds of chainsaws, screams, and other strange metallic sounds that seem unnatural. Every single one of these elements makes it terrifying, and were you to remove any of them, you wouldn’t have gotten the same result. This film is just a perfect storm of terrible things that come together to create a cacophony of terror.

 

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Night of the Demons (1988) [REVIEW]

October 25, 2010 Leave a comment

 

I’ll be the first to admit that the main reason I saw this movie was because it had a remake coming out. Not only did it have a remake coming out, but that remake has Diora Baird taking over for Linnea Quigley, which are some of my favorite names of people ever. However, I do think that after this movie was made, there was some sort of falling out between the filmmakers and Diora Baird, or at least that’s what she texted me. Oh, did I mention we text? Yeah, pretty much all the time. Anyways, I tried watching this version at work, but guess what, THERE WEREN’T ANY SUBTITLES! I mean, I can speak english, barely, but listening to the shitty audio from my laptop speakers sucks, so I put the viewing on hold. Lucky for me, I finally convinced Rampaige to let me watch it! Yes!

 

See that weird demon in the mirror? No? Kinda? Well, it’s the only picture I could find, so you can fuck right off if you have a problem.

In typical 80′s teen horror fashion, Night of the Demons takes a hodgepodge of 80′s teen stereotypes and devises a reason for them all to be hanging out together. What better reason than having a Halloween party in an abandoned old funeral home, that, believe it or not, is supposedly haunted! I’m guessing that you already know where this movie is going, and you’d probably be right. I think the demons were somehow unlocked during some half-assed Bloody Mary mirror game, but it’s a little unclear. All that matters is that demons are unleashed, and they inhabit some of our archetypal coeds. Some of them die, some of them live, some of them put lipstick all over their face and boobs and then shove the entire lipstick into their nipple. Pretty standard demon stuff. Rather than killing the demons or anything like that, the two remaining characters escape certain death by crossing a stream that encompasses the house, which the demons can’t cross. Halloween parties! Yay!!!!

 

Anyone remember those pills the dentist gave you as a kid that made your plaque turn pink? This bitch has a serious case of gingivitis.

Surprisingly, this movie was actually pretty entertaining. The incredible outfits of the characters and just the vernacular used throughout (I believe a young Donnie Jeffcoat from Wild and Crazy Kids tells his sister she has “bodacious boobies”) make it enjoyable to mock. The demons were kind of fun too, because they were pretty similar to the Deadites in the Evil Dead series. No discernible weaknesses or ways to hurt them, all you can hope for is escaping them. Which, lucky for our teens, is easy to do, as long as you cross the stream, which seems counterintuitive to everything I learned from Ghostbusters. I feel like if I had seen this movie when I was younger, it would definitely hold a nostalgic place in my heart for how silly it is, but doesn’t really do that much for me now. But if you’re reading this, Linnea Quigley, I was wondering what you are up to this weekend, and when can we expect a sequel to Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, or when the Assault of the Party Nerds trilogy will finally be completed.

 

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Punisher: War Zone (2008) [REVIEW]

October 23, 2010 2 Comments

 

I am going to attempt to talk about this film without just yelling in caps lock the whole time, because that’s what this film makes me want to do. The first Punisher movie, starring Thomas Jane and John Travolta, wasn’t necessarily a complete failure, but, it was PG-13. A movie about a character known for his extreme brutality is rated PG-13? What the fuck? The character development and the actual plot was entertaining enough, but it definitely seemed a little too family friendly. Even though there were explosions, and one guy got stabbed under his chin and up into his head, it just needed a little bit more. Lucky for us, people realized that, and gave us Punisher: War Zone.

 

Ray Stevenson was way more brutal than Pretty Boy Jane. Just kidding, Thomas Jane, you were awesome in Deep Blue Sea!

Frank Castle’s family was killed because of organized crime, so the Vietnam veteran has snapped and decides he will punish every single criminal he can, usually in the most brutal ways possible. His enemy in this film? Billy the Beaut, who falls into a glass crushing device and becomes the disfigured villain Jigsaw. Frank has a sidekick who helps him acquire weapons as well as intel on the criminals, which, believe it or not, comes back to haunt him. Oh, there are also a bunch of parkour-loving bad guys that are constantly getting aggro all over the city, jumping around while heavy metal plays in the background. Long story short, Frank Castle kills EVERY MOTHER FUCKER HE SEES.

 

TAKING OUT COPS WITH JUST ONE HAND…SO FUCKING AGGRO.

Let’s talk for a moment about all the ways that people die in this movie. First person who dies on-screen? After cutting the power at a fancy dinner, the Punisher jumps onto the table, slams a road flare down, and STABS SOMEONE THROUGH THE TOP OF THEIR FUCKING HEAD. Remember those parkour guys I was talking about? They are jumping from rooftop to rooftop, trying to one-up each other. As one is flying through the air, we see a rocket heading towards him and BLOWS HIM THE FUCK UP. Who do we see then? THE PUNISHER WITH A FUCKING BAZOOKA. HE USED A GODDAMNED BAZOOKA TO KILL ONE PERSON. He then throws another parkour guy off the roof, and he gets impaled on a wrought iron fence…ouch. What’s worse? FRANK JUMPS OF THE BUILDING AND MANAGE TO KICK THE GUY IN THE FACE ON HIS WAY DOWN. Later on, we see Frank grab a wormy little henchmen by the collar, AND PUNCHES HIM SO GODDAMNED HARD IN THE FACE THAT THE WHOLE FUCKING THING CAVES IN. Later on, Frank whips open a door to see a fat bad guy sitting there, and the bad guy is all “OH FUCK” and then the Punisher SHOOTS HIM IN THE HEAD WITH TWO GUNS AT THE SAME EXACT MOMENT, CAUSING HIS HEAD TO EXPLODE.

 

Jigsaw and his brother Looney Bin Jim, also know as Eugene Tooms from some X Files episodes. The X Files are so awesome.

Hopefully you can get a sense of how much they cranked up the violence in this film, and for the better. Unfortunately, they were still playing catch-up to try to make up for the first film. The plot of this film is okay, at best, and they don’t really explain why Castle is so incredibly unbalanced. This movie definitely seemed to be a “Sorry guys!” to all the fans of comic books, but wasn’t quite as accessible to the average viewer. There were definitely some references that comic book fans would say “FUCK YEAH!” to, but didn’t really further the plot. They had a bigger role for Detective Soap, who is known in the comics for being the guy that helps Frank avoid the police and give him leads, but I still think some newcomers might have been confused. The final showdown also took place at the “Brad Street Motel”, which I had to explain to Rampaige and my friend Nate as to why that was so funny, with Tim Bradstreet being a major artist for Punisher comics for quite a few years now. If you like the comics, watch this movie, and if you don’t like the comics, watch it anyway, because the violence is so fucking insane and awesome. Or, just watch the Rated R trailer that I am going to post below.

 

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Zodiac (2007) [REVIEW]

October 22, 2010 4 Comments

 

Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it was to find this movie on Blu-ray? I wasn’t even sure I wanted it on Blu-ray, since I hadn’t seen it since it was in theaters, but I had hoped I could at least hold it and think about buying it. I went to a Best Buy, and it was out of stock. I went to Newbury Comics, and they didn’t have a used or new version. I went to another Best Buy, and they said they didn’t even carry it anymore. Is this what my life has come to? Paying full price for Blu-rays on Amazon? GODDAMNED TECHNOLOGY!

 

“So one of us got cast in a huge superhero movie, and one of us was almost cast in a huge superhero movie? Yeah, same thing…”

In 1960’s California, a man starts taking credit for murders that have no suspects and no leads, and he refers to himself as the Zodiac. He sends coded letters to newspapers and police departments, and the codebreakers end up being unlikely individuals. One of those individuals is the cartoonist at the San Francisco Chronicle, played by Jake Gyllenhaal. He teams up with reporter Paul Avery, played by Robert Downey Jr., to try to be the ones to connect the dots across multiple counties in California. Based on the true story, the leads and the evidence comes and goes, but eventually everything dries up and no one is ever held accountable for all the murders that the Zodiac takes credit for.

 

David Fincher is so dark. SO DARK. Both in the contextual way and, well, the lack of lights sort of way.

Knowing that David Fincher was directing a film about a serial killer, it was hard to go into it and not expect something that was like Se7en. I think I suffered from that shock when I first saw it, but knowing this time what to expect, I enjoyed it even more. I guess you could say I am a David Fincher fanboy, in that I pretty much love every single film he’s done. Big surprise, I love this one as well. It plays out more like a murder mystery, rather than a psychological thriller. But of course, it’s a Fincher murder mystery, so the attention to detail, especially considering it was based on a true story, is absolutely insane. From using actual newspaper reproductions from that time period to the wardrobe being based on things actually held in the evidence locker, Fincher made sure this film came as close as possible to what actually happened. Even some of the victims said that, without giving specific details to Fincher, the scenes that recreated their encounter with the Zodiac could not have been closer to what actually happened. Yes, this movie is long, just over two and a half hours, but if you like murder mysteries, David Fincher, or just good movies, this one definitely deserves a repeat viewing. Also, the opening 15 minutes are near perfect, and set the tone of the film better than some films have tried to achieve in two hours.

 

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Frozen (2010) [REVIEW]

October 18, 2010 2 Comments

 

I’m pretty sure everyone who saw the trailer to this film immediately thought of the episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm where Larry David gets stuck on a ski lift with a very, very Jewish lady. This film was like that, but was supposed to be scary. I also always point out, typically to Rampaige, the references to Newbury Comics in Adam Green‘s films. Green grew up in Eastern Massachusetts and always held Newbury Comics, a chain of comic/movie/toy/pop culture stores, near and dear to his heart. Due to his affinity for the store, which I also love, he always includes references to the store, whether it’s the main character in Hatchet wearing one of their shirts, or a giant billboard in Frozen. Moral of the story? Adam Green and I have a lot in common.

 

Things are looking up! Well, by things, I mean all the characters are.

Three kids are on a break from college, and two of them being lifelong friends, they go to their favorite ski resort, like old times. Unfortunately, there’s a stupid girlfriend that tags along and whines and complains and periods the whole time. They also don’t buy tickets for the mountain, they just bribe the ski lift operator. With one last possible run, they get onto the ski lift, and through a series of employees going on break, no one realizes they are still on the lift when the park closes. Being stuck in the cold, one of the kids decides he must jump from the lift and crawl to safety. Sadly, he breaks both of his legs, sits there, and eventually wolves come and eat him. The two remaining just hang out and whine and complain, until the other guy climbs the cable of the lift to a ladder, and runs for help. After being there for a little too long, the girlfriend thinks something’s wrong, and attempts to jump herself. Lucky for her, the chair breaks almost completely, and she only jumps about 20 feet, with no broken legs. While travelling down the mountain, she sees that wolves have eaten the other guy, too, and eventually she makes it to the highway, where she is picked up and supposedly lives.

 

I also learned that boys have blue snowboards and girls have pink snowboards.

I can get behind the concept of this film, but it’s a little lackluster in its execution. Clearly this film didn’t need to be gory…at all. it might have been worse if Adam Green tried to find ways to make it disgusting. Obviously the scene where the girlfriend gets her hand stuck to the bar of the ski lift was pretty gross, but that was about it. There were some tense moments, but they were few and far between. Each moment being separated by long conversations reminiscing about good times, or sad discussions about what’s going to happen if they are stuck up there forever. It was kind of hard to determine what Green intended to say with this film. That might not be his fault, however, and might have been an issue with the actors not quite conveying the overwhelming dread of oncoming death. And by the way, one of the guys in the movie? PLAYED ICEMAN IN THE X-MEN. CLEARLY ICEMAN CAN’T FREEZE, ADAM GREEN.

 

The girl was the only one to survive. She was also the only one to piss her pants. Connection? I THINK SO!

I do have to admit, it was pretty cool to see these people being completely physically vulnerable. Most films involving some sort of snowy disaster relies on lack of communication with the outside world, but at least they are inside. These people could not have been more exposed to the elements than being stuck on a ski lift. Also, by having this take place at a skiing resort, the characters weren’t dying due to Antarctic weather, it was more about impending doom. Sure, they could survive up there for a few days, but eventually, they had to make the choice to either sit there and die, or try to find rescue in any means that they could. The movie was called “Frozen”, but the two characters who die didn’t freeze. They were eaten by wolves. This movie should have been called Wolf-en….WAIT, THAT ALREADY IS A MOVIE! Yackity-shmackity-doooooo!!!!!

 

Wolfman Moon Scale


Official Site
IMDb
Netflix
Amazon DVD

Filed under 3 Stars, Horror Film Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Top Ten Comic Book Twitters to Follow

October 16, 2010 1 Comment

I haven’t posted anything about comics since Scott Pilgrim and I thought it was about time I did. Granted, I haven’t read any particular limited series or graphic novels, so it was a little difficult to figure out what to actually talk about. Being that today is Friday, I thought it would be a great idea to compile a list of the ten comic book related Twitters to follow, considering there is a phenomenon known as “Follow Friday”. Apparently, Fridays on Twitter signifies a day where you tell other people who to follow. No one has ever recommended I get followed, so fuck all of you who don’t realize how awesome I am. In this post, I will tell you who is funny and/or interesting, with the hopes that they might one day talk to me and think I am cool. So, in no particular order:

 

Who: Matt Fraction – hi i write comics like CASANOVA and IRON MAN and UNCANNY X-MEN and THE MIGHTY THOR. Why?

Username: mattfraction

Why: One of the few people who consistently makes me laugh with just about everything he says, whether he is ranting about Scott Caan on the Hawaii Five-O reboot or talking shit on other comic book writers, in the most jovial way possible.

Sample Tweet: “gonna make a fucking mint off these SCORT PROGRIM bootleg socks”

 

Who: Stephen Wacker – Comic Book Editor. Father. Dancer.

Username: StephenWacker

Why: The other person who consistently makes me laugh with his tweets, no matter what he’s talking about. I enjoyed his jokey-jokes in the letters column of Amazing Spider-Man, and it turns out he is even funnier in 140 characters or less. Most of the time is spent making fun of other people in the Marvel office, and I assume his desk is on the floor above everyone else’s, based on his demands for coffee and things like that.

Sample Tweet: “Been a misunderstanding. New Hulk show is just @TomBrevoort yelling at Marvel editorial staff while looking for donuts in new towns.”

 

Who: Ben Templesmith – Australian. In America. Writer, artist, rider of the Squid. Made career out of Werewolf sodomy and tranny Leprechauns. Eats babies.

Username: Templesmith

Why: Although quite dapper in appearance, just below the surface (barely) is a scathing resentment of all things human. Oh, and he drinks a lot. Not that he is some incoherent drunk, but I like to live vicariously through him.

Sample Tweet: “Sat next to strange old lady with sweat pants on. She smells. Her husband is worse. Cute couple.”

 

Who: Ryan Penagos – Editor of Marvel.com. Writer, blogger, lover of tacos, tattoos, comics, video games, pop culture and cute stuff. See also: @Marvel and marvel.com/blogs/Agent_M

Username: Agent_M

Why: If you need to know about anything and everything going on in the Marvel Universe, he will update you. Whether it be toys, comics, or movies, he has the inside scoop. Also has an affinity for posting pictures of cute animals, nerdy things, and hardcore. I want to be him.

Sample Tweet: “Photo: LOOK AT THESE ADORABLE RED PANDAS BEING ADORABLE! http://tumblr.com/xo7lql3qc“

 

Who: Geoff Johns – I like cereal. A lot.

Username: GeoffJohns0

Why: Just seems like an all-around good guy. Writing some of the best comics coming out of DC, you can tell how excited and appreciative he is in his tweets. He also responded to one of my tweets once, which was awesome.

Sample Tweet: “Tomorrow is FRIDAY!!!! ALL WILL BE WELL!!!”

 

Who: Marjorie Liu – Novelist, comic book writer, adventurer, and attorney!

Username: marjoriemliu

Why: Not only does she write awesome comics, she’s just so darned adorable. Most of her tweets are things like “Just saw a squirrell kiss a butterfly in the woods, time to bake some cookies”. Despite writing some of the grittier storylines coming out of Marvel, it’s a nice juxtaposition of imagining her living in some enchanted wonderland.

Sample Tweet: “What’s perfect on a crisp autumn day? Pumpkin sour cream spice cake cookies, gooey and hot from the oven. I ate too many.”

 

Who: Ed Brubaker – (doesn’t have a bio, but writes lots of awesome comics)

Username: brubaker

Why: One of my favorites writers, I will buy pretty much anything with his name on it, or even anything that looks like his name is on it. However, he seems to have a distinctly negative outlook on most things, so I can’t help but assume he tweets while sitting on his front porch, yelling at cars going by to slow down.

Sample Tweet: “Really sick of dishnetwork losing channels. Last year it was ABC and now it’s FX.”

 

Who: Warren Ellis – English Writer. Not Australian Musician. Lives in your brain.

Username: warrenellis

Why: Also seems to have quite a disdain for the human species, and also lives in the UK. He is tweeting with more insanity a good six hours before everyone else on this list is even awake, so he gets a headstart on the loathing of the human populace.

Sample Tweet: “Am carefully coughing on all the tables in the pub. Fuck these people, with their health and snot-free heads.” – at 8:22AM Chicago time

 

(not the Tom Brennan in question, but this guy is on Google Images, rather than the one I wanted)

Who: Tom Brennan – I’m a Marvel Comics Editor. That means you have to know this thing I’m thinking RIGHT NOW!

Username: Brennanator

Why: Another editor at Marvel, I’m not really sure why. I think Stephen Wacker made fun of him, or retweeted him, and I thought it was funny. I expect big things from you Brennan. Big things.

Sample Tweet: “There is nothing worse than being the guy who says “Yeah, he was in that movie with Breckin Meyer!”"

 

Who: Batman – The hero Twitter deserves, but not the one it needs. So you’ll follow him. Because he can take it.

Username: God_Damn_Batman

Why: It’s fucking Batman. Okay, maybe it’s not always hilarious, but the guy always stays in character. Also, this guy is a lot funnier than Drunk/FilmCrit/LitCrit Hulk. WE GET IT! HULK TALKS IN FRAGMENTED SENTENCE STRUCTURE!

Sample Tweet: “People ask me what I’ll do when Gotham is finally free of crime. Three words: Grow. A. Beard.”

Filed under Comics Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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