Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995) [REVIEW]

February 24, 2011 2 Comments

 

Fuuuuuuuuck me this was a pile of shit. It starts a few years after Halloween 5 left off, but Danielle Harris isn’t in this one. BULLSHIT. However, some lady has been kidnapped and knocked up by the douche from the Cult of the Thorn, and she has crapped out the baby. She makes a run for it with the baby because she knows something bad will happen to it, and she eventually leaves it in a gas station. Real responsible, bitch. Michael Myers then impales her on a piece of farming equipment. Paul Rudd…YUP, PAUL FUCKING RUDD, gets the baby from the gas station because, guess what, PAUL RUDD PLAYS THE CHARACTER OF THE GROWN UP LITTLE KID FROM THE FIRST ONE. Yeah, it’s a pretty thin alibi. So Paul Rudd is trying to protect the baby from Michael and he has the help of Dr. Loomis, a.k.a. Donald Pleasence again, despite Dr. Loomis claiming to have been retired. Anyways, it’s all kind of pointless, whatever the fuck is going on, because I guess the “Man in Black” was some scientist guy who was trying to bring about the “Curse of the Thorn”, which is supposedly the curse Michael has, which is what makes him evil and super powerful. The Man in Black was hoping to trick Michael long enough so he could harvest DNA from him and inject the super-powered DNA into babies. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT THIS IS STUPID. Michael busts into surgery, most likely without even scrubbing, and kills everyone. Eventually Paul Rudd tricks Michael into taking a fetus, and when there is a fetus distraction, Paul stabs Michael in the eyes with tranquilizers and then beats the fucking shit out of Michael’s head with a lead pipe. Dr. Loomis, Paul Rudd, the baby, and two other characters that aren’t even worth mentioning are about to leave, when Dr. Loomis says he is staying behind because he has business to take care of. We then see Michael’s mask on the floor and hear Dr. Loomis screaming, because he’s getting the shit killed out of him.

 

Careful! Paul Rudd’s going to eat that baby!

FUCK THIS MOVIE. It sucks so bad. Just as bad as basically every bad installment of Friday the 13th or A Nightmare on Elm Street. Wait, I’ll give it entertaining gore, or rather, mildly entertaining gore, but that’s about it. I mean seriously, this movie was more like Jurassic Park than Halloween with all the gene splicing bullshit. Also, it was only after reading on Wikipedia the fact that it’s supposed to be Loomis screaming, because there’s absolutely no indication of it being him, other than that arbitrary line about staying behind. I’m sure they wanted people to think it was Loomis because Donald Pleasence died before the movie was released, and what better way to end the actor’s career than by implying an off-screen death? How nice of you guys! You fucking assholes. I really hope that Halloween: H20 is better than I remember it, or at least better than this huge pile of shit.

 

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Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) [REVIEW]

February 24, 2011 5 Comments

 

Nope, certainly no Michael Myers to be found in this one! Instead, we get a different kind of terrifying tale. Some dude gets attacked by some other dude in a suit, but he survives long enough to get to the hospital. At the hospital, he keeps saying, “they’re gonna kill us all”, and eventually, he is killed in the hospital by a dude in a suit. One of the doctors investigates the man’s arrival, along with the man’s daughter, only to end up in the small town of Santa Mira, California, home of the Silver Shamrock Novelties factory. They make masks, and with Halloween approaching, are clearly very busy sending masks all across the country, each one with their emblem embedded into the back of it. After further investigating, the doctor, played by Tom Atkins, discovers that the men in suits are actually androids. The owner of Silver Shamrock Novelties is trying to make Halloween return to the original Gaelic festival of Samhain, and claims that every one of the masks has a piece of Stonehenge embedded in it. A commercial that has been repeatedly airing on TV and radio is the key, and on Halloween night, a special broadcast is sent across the country that activities the powers in the masks, causing the wearer to die a gruesome death. Tom Atkins is able to get some of the stations to shut off the broadcast, but the film ends as he is screaming into the phone for the final broadcasting company to turn off the commercial.

 

Careful, kids! Those things might eat your damn heads off!

HOLY SHIT, WHY DON’T MORE PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THIS MOVIE? I get it, Michael Myers isn’t involved at all, and every other film in the franchise features him extensively. Not having been alive in 1982, I can really only look back on the franchise, and see how this movie could be considered weird. From what I heard, John Carpenter was hoping this could be the future of the Halloween franchise, with every subsequent film having been a different macabre tale centered around Halloween. That makes so much more fucking sense! I mean, Michael only attacks on Halloween? What the fuck is Dr. Loomis doing the other 364 days of the year? Maybe this movie isn’t for everybody, but it’s really creepy and more of just an unsettling feeling, rather than being downright scary. John Carpenter was involved in creating the soundtrack, and one of the best moments is when the owner of the novelty company explains what he’s doing to the doctor, who is restrained, looks him in the eyes, says “Happy Halloween”, and then the iconic theme starts playing. FUCK YES! This movie definitely has more of the Creepshow/Children of the Corn kind of vibe, which I really liked. I also thought it was really cool the way they tied it into the origins of Halloween in a relatively subtle way, by having the emblem of the company be the shamrock. I wish the series could have continued down this path, but I guess I’ll just watch Trick ‘r Treat a few more times, since that’s more along the lines of Season of the Witch than anything else in the Halloween franchise.

 

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There’s been some changes ’round these parts…

February 24, 2011 Leave a comment

You might notice, or not notice, if you’re a fucking retard, the new layout of the page. I guess I should have fucked around with the theme options earlier on in my blogging career, seeing as I like this theme much more than the previous ones. One change you might notice is the header up at the top that has a picture of Kurt Russell and my blog title. I wish I could fucking move that damn search box in the header, but I can’t. That’s why everything is kind of crammed over to the left side. You also can click “leave a comment” at the top of the page, as well as the bottom. If you go to the archives on the right, you now longer have the option of seeing the title of the post, you just choose a month and get to scroll through all the posts for that month. One of the biggest bonuses is the fact that this theme allows sub-categories under each category, which is a huge help. Why, you might ask? Well, now if you go to the top of the page, when you put your cursor over each category, there’s a drop down menu showing the star, or “moon”, rating of each thing I’ve reviewed. This way you can easily views posts based on how much I enjoyed them! That’s good, right?! That’s what I thought. So now what? Well, I don’t know, but it took me all night to re-categorize everything and I wanted to share my joy with you, internet!

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Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010) [REVIEW]

February 23, 2011 4 Comments

 

These straight to video comic book movies are really a crapshoot. The first one I saw was The Ultimate Avengers, which was the first one Marvel produced. It was pretty decent, and was similar to the actual storyline of The Ultimates comic book series. The other films that I’ve seen have only loosely, if at all, followed any specific storyline. I had heard reviews of this one being exceptionally better than most other straight to video movies, whether it be Marvel or DC. It took me a while to get around to watching it, mostly because Rampaige kind of hates cartoons that aren’t family friendly, and she also hates Batman. This was a double whammy, because, ya know, Batman is in it and it’s PG-13. That was exactly what got me excited about it, when I finally found the courage to stay up past her bedtime.

 

Batman with the Red Hood. I can’t remember which one is which though.

The movie starts by recreating a scene from the storyline of the classic Batman tale A Death in the Family, which can be summarized by saying the Joker is beating the living SHIT out of Robin. To be fair, this is the second Robin, who is Jason Todd, and the Joker is using a crowbar. Between the savage crowbar beating and explosion, Jason Todd dies. Five years later, Batman is fighting crime, as usual. A bad guy arrives on the scene known as the “Red Hood”, and the interesting thing about that is that drug trafficking is going up, yet crime is going down. Apparently Red Hood is climbing the ranks of bad guy activities, and Batman wants to get to the bottom of it. Despite being attacked by Batman, with help from Nightwing, Red Hood still manages to get away. Ra’s Al Ghul, who is a bad guy, contacts Batman and let’s him know that he has information about Red Hood. Since Ra’s felt bad about being partly responsible for Jason Todd’s death, he used a Lazarus pit to resurrect Jason, only for Jason to go kind of insane and missing. Well, guess what? Yup! Red Hood is Jason Todd who has been resurrected to fight crime in his way, which involves a lot more violence than Batman can handle. There’s a showdown involving Red Hood, Batman, and the Joker, that results in an explosion, as well as the Joker being returned to Arkham Asylum along with Jason Todd. Poor thing! Maybe next time, Bruce!

 

Poor, poor Jason Todd. That’s what you get for having your last name be a first name.

I remember a few weeks ago a frequent commenter who goes by the name “JD” telling me he openly wept in the beginning of this movie, and I now realize it’s because he had to see a character with his name getting beat up. I guess I don’t really blame him, because the beat down was pretty brutal, especially considering it was a cartoon. It was pretty cool to see that part of A Death in the Family on-screen, even though it was only a small tidbit. The twists and turns in the story kept you engaged in what was happening, but there wasn’t really anything that was “silly”, so this movie isn’t at all geared towards kids. Considering this wasn’t based on one specific story, both readers of Batman and non-readers can enjoy this. There were things like the Black Mask, Ra’s Al Ghul, and Jason Todd that could appease the Batman fans, but they explained these characters well enough that even had you not known who they were beforehand. If this kind of quality keeps up, hopefully the quality of theatrically released films will go up as well.

 

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Halloween II (1981) [REVIEW]

February 23, 2011 Leave a comment

 

And here we go! The next series of films in the popular franchise tirade of anger are going to be the Halloween films. Having already reviewed the first, fourth, and fifth installments of the franchise, you’re going to have to look in the archives for those, rather than assume things will be happening sequentially. So you can just keep that in mind before asking yourself, “WTF WHY IS HE REVIEWING PART 2, BUT NOT PART 1? WHY DID HE SKIP 4 AND 5?”. You’ll just look like an idiot now for asking those questions, because I already answered them. Enough of that bullshit introduction, let’s move on to the actual review!

 

There’s just something so sexy about feathered hair and a hospital gown.

This film starts right where the previous film left off. Laurie, played by Jamie Lee Curtis again,  was just attacked by Michael Myers, and Dr. Loomis played by Donald Pleasence, has just rescued her. When they go to investigate the body, they don’t find it, so Dr. Loomis gets help from the police force to track down Michael while Laurie goes to the hospital. Dr. Loomis thinks he is chasing down Michael, after seeing someone in a mask running from the cops, and that person gets blown up by two cars crashing. While trying to figure out if it’s actually Michael, Michael is getting a head start and heads towards the hospital to finish what he started. Dr. Loomis’s assistant informs Laurie that she is Michael’s sister, and we then are reminded of the fact that Michael has already killed one of his sisters for unknown reasons. Dr. Loomis gets to the hospital in time to help Laurie, by shooting Michael a whole bunch more times. It isn’t until Laurie shoots him in the head and blinds him with blood that Dr. Loomis can then release a tank of ether in the room while Michael stumbles around, then lights the room on fire, “killing” Michael Myers.

 

What a dark, cold soul Michael Myers has. He even cries tears of blood.

The most notable thing about this movie is the reveal that Laurie is Michael’s sister, but other than that, nothing really exciting to report on. It was written by John Carpenter, so you can’t be too mad about anything that goes on, but it’s not as much scary as it just exists to add more information to the myth of Michael Myers. You’ll see in future films that Michael has some sort of vendetta or connection to family members, and that’s why he keeps going after them. Also, having this film start right where the previous film left off was kind of weird, because I mean, how long can that night be? Once it turns midnight, shouldn’t the movie title have changed to “November 1st”? That’s not as scary, but a good amount of activity happens when it’s no longer Halloween. Also, there’s a scene where Loomis finds the word SAMHAIN scrawled on a chalkboard at Michael’s former school, so that implies some sort of connection to Halloween and why he has come back, but it’s only a vague implication. Not that bad of a movie, but you kind of expected a little more, considering Carpenter wrote the script.

 

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The results are in!

February 22, 2011 4 Comments

No, not the results of my HIV test! I have that, by the way. And no, not the test on whether or not I’m pregnant, because people with HIV can’t get pregnant, duh. I’m talking about the results of my very first ever poll! It might be my last one, too, considering I was really stretching for what exactly to put in there. The top three things you guys voted one were More Horror, More personal ranting/raving, and More Comics. In other words, you voted for more of all the things that I do on this website, so I’m a little confused as to how to take that. However, personal rantings and ravings got more votes than comics, so I’ll try to post more things related to “Inane Bullshit”, despite wanting to talk about comics. When it comes to newer content versus older content, they both got the same amount of votes, thus canceling each other out, therefore I will continue to review the exact same kind of content as before. The good news is that nobody wanted my reviews to be shorter and nobody wanted me to shut up, so I’ll take that to mean I am not talking too much, despite what Rampaige tells me. Which reminds me, I should have had a poll option for MORE BOOBS. Dammit.



In other news, in between watching Parks and Recreation on Netflix and Lost on Blu Ray, Rampaige and I have been breaking up the monotony by throwing in some segments from To Catch a Predator. These delightful moments are friendly reminders that no matter how shitty things get in life, at least neither of us are grown men sending pictures of our boners to supposed 14-year-old girls, only to show up at their house and have a camera run in and then go to jail. That’s only one of us guilty of that. Rampaige is also guilty of posting a sign in our yard that said “CLEAN UP YOUR DOGS SHIT, DUMBASS”. I know, the irony of using the word “dumbass” after forgetting the comma in “dogs” was pretty funny, but I did a quick proofread and added the comma in there. This was a few days before she woke up at 4am to open the window and yell at a different neighbor who was hanging out in his hot tub and listening to techno. Anyways, here’s a clip from To Catch a Predator that caused us to laugh our balls off. One of us figuratively, the other one of us literally.



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The Social Network (2010) [REVIEW]

February 20, 2011 2 Comments

 

David Fincher, director of incredible films such as Zodiac, Fight Club, and Se7en, is directing a movie about Facebook. Wait, what the fuck? Is that really what was happening?! I couldn’t have been less excited. Then the trailer came out…yup, sure did look like a movie that David Fincher made about Facebook! I remember getting an email to my campus address back in 2004 for Facebook and signing up for it, of course. When I realized that I couldn’t see things unless I friended people, and that Facebook was exclusive, I deleted it, because that’s fucking stupid. I then wanted to check a few months later and see if my classmate was the girl from Road Rules, so I signed up again, only to find out my profile was still active. What the fuck?! And, well, I guess that’s my history with Facebook.

 

Who the fuck meets people through the internet? Buncha a weirdos, kids these days!

In 2003, the internet was just starting to get more personal, and there were more and more social communities where you could share pictures, interests, and information. At the time, those websites were things like Livejournal, Friendster, and MySpace. They were met with varying success, but it wasn’t until Mark Zuckerberg, played by Jesse Eisenberg, started working on a website that encapsulated all of the things you could find on other websites, but made it exclusive to people attending Harvard. From there, it extended from school to school, one at a time, and grew and grew and grew. The Social Network depicts not only the course of events that happened in the launching of this website, but the legal battles that followed due to conflicts over who owned the intellectual property, the financial aspect, and just the idea in general.

 

Now featuring twice the amount of cocksuckers, thanks to those rascally Winklevoss twins!

Every time I hear something about getting “tagged”, or bullshit about writing on someone’s “wall”, or that fucking Farmville thing, I throw up in my mouth a little bit, and make a mental note to not have a conversation with that person about anything. While watching The Social Network, I completely forgot that this movie was based on the creation of this website. It plays as more of a legal thriller rather than a docu-drama about a website that’s popular. I think this credit belongs to both Aaron Sorkin, the screenwriter, as well as David Fincher. Aaron Sorkin just has this way of writing these casual conversations that make you hang on every word and are completely engaged, regardless of the fact that people were conversing about a website. And having Fincher, who typically deals with slightly darker, moodier subject matter, was a wonderful choice in grounding this film to the real world and portraying people who weren’t necessarily the smartest or most likable, but had good ideas and great timing. Every scene plays out as though you have been involved in an interaction like that before, thanks to Sorkin, yet seemed to take place in an alternate reality that had muted colors, lights, and characters that you could never possibly interact with, thanks to Fincher.

 

PRETENTIOUS FUCKING ASSHOLES IN THEIR GODDAMNED NORTH FACE JACKETS.

I’m always blown away by the amount of work David Fincher puts into his films and how much research there is. Just take a glimpse at the trivia page for this movie on IMDb and you’ll begin to see how he controls everything about every actor in every scene, and in a good way. From the fact that he forbade any of the actors from meeting their real life counterparts, to filming a scene with eight pages of dialogue 99 times, to making Eisenberg only wear clothes that had been worn by Zuckerberg, no detail goes unnoticed. Did I mention the fact that there are identical twins in this movie, being portrayed by the same actor? Finding no adequate twin actors, he filmed everything with a stand-in body, and then digitally added the original actor’s face to the double, and he did this almost seamlessly. Not to say that the actors didn’t hold their own, but since they were all relatively subtle portrayals of actual people, it’s hard to cite one in particular for their stand out performance. So, looking back on it, yes, David Fincher really did make a movie about Facebook, and it was fucking awesome.

 

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TMNT (2007) [REVIEW]

February 19, 2011 Leave a comment

 

Remember how pumped I was on this movie coming out? I do! I was a big fan of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles growing up, and saw the first two movies, so why wouldn’t I have been excited about seeing this? When this movie originally came out, I was working at a movie theater where it was being released, and I got to watch it the Thursday evening before it was supposed to be released, and I also invited a few friends along. More importantly, I had invited Nate Cabana, Adam Bach, and Brian J. Goddard. Do you know these people? Well, you should. Anyways, I was hard at work on a Thursday night, trying to do my work as quickly as possible to get ready. I was contacted by Brian, mentioning that he might be a few minutes late, but to get the movie started anyway. It doesn’t matter that I was sad that my friends weren’t there on time, it didn’t matter that they showed up once the movie already had started, but what did matter? Oh, I don’t know, maybe the fact that they SURPRISED ME WITH A WHOLE FUCKING PIZZA FROM ANTONIO’S……AND SODA. How could I have overlooked these details? In my years growing up, I had forgotten what’s important. For the Ninja Turtles, it’s about soda, pizza, friends, and crime-fighting. And I had finally had all of those things….especially the crime-fighting.

 

Oh, and they made the turtles gay. Did I mention that? Gay brothers!

This film takes place after the events of the first three films, supposedly, which is kind of confusing, considering this one is animated and the other three aren’t. I guess it doesn’t really matter, but it establishes why the group isn’t together. Leonardo is down in Central America, fighting for the people in poverty or something like that, when he is visited by April O’ Neil in an effort to convince him to come back. Donatello and Michelangelo and working shitty jobs, as an IT operator and pizza delivery guy, and Raphael is always tired, because he is also a vigilante known as Nightwatcher. Leonardo comes back to join them, which happens to coincide with demon things being released onto the city. If all the demons aren’t taken care of, there will be worse demons on the way. Remember Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed? Imagine that plot, but with the Ninja Turtles. They fight bad guys, they eat pizza, do ninja stuff, and there’s an awesome fight between Leonardo and Raphael on the rainy rooftops, but they eventually put their differences behind them to fight bad guys. Did I mention Casey Jones is there to help? Well, he is! So the good guys win, the bad guys lose, Splinter is their mentor, and all the turtles are doing flips and jumping off of things. Success!

 

There’s something physically impossible about April’s physique in this movie…….impossibly SEXY! HEY OH!

This is the best installment in the TMNT franchise since the original film. Maybe that’s not saying much, but everyone seems to have fond memories of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze. But you know what? That movie fucking sucked. I don’t know why people remember that movie being awesome, because it wasn’t. The first film is pretty dark, and isn’t too cartoony, Raphael gets the shit kicked out of him, Casey Jones is a badass, Splinter gets captured, all good things. Secret of the Ooze had Vanilla Ice, a shitty plot, even more cartoony, and no Casey Jones as well as no Corey Feldman voicing Donatello. The third film had Corey Feldman again, and Casey Jones came back, but the entire plot sucks and is terrible. This installment had pretty cool action, and even though it was animated, it wasn’t too silly, and the look of the film was a lot darker and more similar looking to the original black and white comics. That’s something most people forget, is that this comic was originally black and white, and started in Northampton, MA, and it wasn’t until the animated TV show that all the turtles got different colors and apparently lived in New York City. Don’t believe me? I have some comics where they mention Northampton by name. BY NAME, I SAY! There’s also a scene at the end where you get to see Shredder’s helmet up on a shelf, and dumb little kids won’t get that reference.Did I mention the fight between Raphael and Leonardo might be one of the best scenes of anything related to the turtles? Although they have had their differences and there has always been tension between the two, it was typically a lot more subtle, that to see it come to fruition in such a big way was really awesome. As embarrassing as it was, I remember gripping the arms of the seat I was sitting in really tightly, because I didn’t believe these turtles would be beating the shit out of each other. Then again, I might have just been excited because of the pizza.

 

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Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2 (2011)

February 17, 2011 2 Comments

 

Considering I make Rampaige watch so many horror movies, it’s payback time. She is making me watch this film, and will probably try to paint my nails and braid my hair afterward. And to be completely honest, the movie hasn’t even started yet, I just figured I’d start writing this review now in case it makes me want to kill myselllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Jason X (2001) [REVIEW]

February 16, 2011 Leave a comment

 

I remember first seeing the previews for this movie and thinking “Oh man, that’s so dumb to call it Jason X, there aren’t even ten movies!”. Little did I know, there actually were that many. And I know what you’re thinking, and it’s about the fact that at the end of the previous movie we saw Freddy Krueger‘s glove pull Jason’s mask down into Hell, so how can this movie exist? Well, the reason for the glove grabbing the mask was mostly just as a joke, considering the idea of a Freddy vs. Jason movie was something of an urban legend that the script was being written. Well, that’s why Jason X takes place in the FUTURE! That’s right, 450 years into the future! And there are spaceships even! It’s everything you wanted from a Friday the 13th film, and more!

 

Is it cold in here, or is it just YOU! OH SHIIIIIIIT!

Somehow Jason was brought to life, but frozen for shipment, but the lady in charge of the freezing accidentally freezes herself in the process. She is thawed out in the future, and before she can warn them not to, Jason gets thawed out, and guess what he does? Starts killing everything! Of course! The only problem is that now they’re in space, so, okay maybe that’s not really a big problem. People are having a hard time killing Jason, but eventually an android blows the fuck out of him. But there’s a problem…he falls onto some medical table involving nanobots or some shit that can repair damaged tissue! So Jason gets repaired with metal pieces, and for some reason he has a new space age mask reconstructed as well? The crew is able to call for a rescue shuttle, and as that shuttle is leaving the main ship that’s blowing up, along with Jason, they see him being propelled back to the new Earth that everyone lives on. We see a couple looking out at a lake as they say something like, “Oh hey it’s a meteor, let’s check it out”, and then we see the new Jason mask sinking to the bottom of the lake. AND IT ALL STARTS OVER AGAIN!

 

The poster was right! Evil DID get an upgrade! And WHAT an upgrade! He’s like Super Shredder!

Sounds absolutely ridiculous, doesn’t it? Well, it is, but that’s part of its charm. Obviously the concept of this movie is insane, but it shows that the people who made it had kind of given up on the concept of Jason Voorhees and just gave him a wacky adventure. This film also had one of the best deaths in the history of the franchise, when Jason shoved a woman’s face in liquid nitrogen to freeze it, then smashed it to bits. This whole movie was much more gruesome than the other installments in the series, so that’s another reason why it was so entertaining. Another funny reference that was made was when the rescue shuttle mentioned how far away they were, they said how many parsecs away they were, ya know, like in Star Wars! Although they did use the unit of measurement incorrectly by implying that a parsec was a unit of distance, when it’s actually a unit of time, but hey, at least they tried. There was also a pretty funny scene that acknowledged the ridiculousness of the whole franchise, when they use a virtual reality simulation of Camp Crystal Lake circa 1980 in hopes of slowing him down. Two teens ask Jason if they want to drink beers, smoke pot, and have premarital sex, because they “love premarital sex”. Jason decides to put them in their sleeping bags and smash them against one another, as well as a tree. One of the few moments in the whole franchise that actually causes people to chuckle intentionally. Since this is the last film in the Friday the 13th franchise, I figure I should throw in some sort of rundown. Of the 12 films, I’d say 1-4 are pretty fun, Jason X is worth a watch once, Freddy vs. Jason is a lot of fun, and the 2009 remake isn’t that bad. Movies 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9 can fuck right off, and nobody should ever watch them.

 

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