Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988) [REVIEW]

 

What’s with these fucking titles? Anyways, this one involves telekinetic powers. YEAH, THAT’S WHAT I SAID, FUCKING TELEKINESIS . Some bitch who apparently has these powers gets taken to a cabin near where her dad supposedly drowned. And guess what? There’s also a cabin near those assholes full of young teenagers looking to get drunk and sexy! Also, this telekinetic bitch can’t really control her powers. They basically start acting up when she is stressed out or emotional, so her doctor is always yelling at her until shit starts flying around the room. When she sees the lake, she gets emotional, and accidentally unwraps the chain from around Jason’s neck, and he starts killing things again. Who does he kill, exactly? The teens having sex, of course! Who cares, who cares, who cares, Jason’s killing shit and people are scared. Eventually she starts using her powers to fight Jason, such as sticking a power line into a puddle he is standing in, shattering his mask, hitting him in the head with lamps, and dropping him down some stairs? Eventually she sprays him with gasoline and sets him on fire, and they think he’s dead. OR IS HE?!

 

OH THAT’S RIGHT, THEY TAKE OFF HIS MASK AND HE IS JUST A BIG FUCKING DUMB MONSTER ZOMBIE PIECE OF SHIT.

God fucking dammit. I don’t think I am pissed with the repetitiveness of the franchise, since it’s a simple concept, but it’s the dumb bullshit they incorporate to try to make the movie seem hip. Telekinesis? Really? She is using the WORST strategies, such as DROPPING HIM THROUGH THE FLOOR TO THE BASEMENT WHICH IS TEN FEET BELOW HIM. Surely ten feet is enough to kill him, right?! I’ll totally hang out here long enough to see if he’s dead! It was also with this installment that I even started getting pissed at the violence in the series. Every fucking time Jason kills someone, you see him go in for the kill, we hear the sound effect, but it’s either a shot of Jason’s mask or the victim’s face, and then we see them kind of bloody. They just aren’t showing anything at all. For a franchise that really has nothing going for it, other than grisly violent deaths, wouldn’t you expect them to actually SHOW those deaths? I guess I know nothing about making a Friday the 13th movie. AND THE FUCKING TITLE OF THE MOVIE. I understand when they called it “The Final Chapter“, I’ll even accept “New Beginning“, and “Jason Lives“, well, seems a little obvious, but THE NEW BLOOD?! What was new about this movie? Who is the new blood? WHY DOES EVERY MOVIE HAVE TO HAVE IT’S OWN SHITTY TITLE. I’M SURE PART 8 WILL REDEEM THE SHITTY TITLES OF ALL PREVIOUS FILMS…

 

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3 responses to “Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988) [REVIEW]

  1. I’m impressed. I really don’t think I could make it through all of these movies in such a short time frame. Maybe not at all. This is a hell of a sacrifice you’re making for your readership.

    • It’s more just that I’m posting them all in such quick succession so I can stop thinking about them. The day of that huge snowstorm I did watch parts 1-4 though, but those were all pretty good. Everything after that has been awful and makes me want to stab my eyes out. But I agree, it is a huge sacrifice I’m making for the three of you.

  2. I dont agree with your opinion of this movie. This movie is not just some horror film, it’s a classic movie. I personally believe all the movies are good. It doesn’t matter to me what the title is. as long as the movies good, then that’s it. I thought it was a good idea to incorporate someone who can actually match Jason, and everyone knows we were all wondering what he looked like under the mask. Well, now we know. I agree that no one would just stand around to see if he was dead but that just adds to the dramatic effect of the movie.

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