Halloween: Resurrection (2002) [REVIEW]

 

Whose fucking idea was this? Goddammit. Jamie lee Curtis, as Laurie Strode, is in a mental institution. When we thought that she had killed Michael Myers in the previous film, it turns out that he had put his mask on the body of an orderly, so while Michael escaped, she killed an innocent person, driving her insane. Michael comes to the mental institution, and breaks into her room…BY HEADBUTTING IT UNTIL IT COLLAPSED. HE DIDN’T EVEN USE HIS HANDS. She leads him to the roof and snares his foot with a rope trap, and as he is dangling over the ledge, she goes to take his mask off, only to be grabbed, stabbed, and…dead. Sorry, couldn’t think of another word that rhymed. We then cut to a group of arbitrary and pointless characters who are filming a new internet show where participants will spend the night locked in the old Myers’s house. One participant claims they will be “more popular than The Osbournes“, in case you forgot it was made in 2002.  Oh, and on one bitch’s audition tape, she screams and shatters a glass, and we are lead to believe that she will have something special about her that will appear later on. So at the house, exploring, the participants are finding weird things, some real, some placed there by the host, who is played by Busta Rhymes. Did I mention this movie was made in 2002? Michael comes back and kills people, and one participant, the one who has something special about her, uses a Palm Pilot to contact her friend on the outside. Did I mention this movie was made in 2002? Busta Rhymes does karate on Michael Myers, there is fighting and knives and fire and all that bullshit, and Michael is brought to the morgue, presumed dead. Someone attempts taking his mask off, and then his eyes open, and the movie goes to black. Oh yeah, and there’s a part where Busta Rhymes looks at the camera and says “Trick or treat mother fucker”.

 

Watch out! He might headbutt his way right down that hallway!

WHO COMES UP WITH THIS SHIT?! I wish I could say that this was so bad that it was funny, but it was painful to watch. I guess in retrospect, it’s kind of humorous to think that this movie probably cost millions of dollars, but that’s about it. Oh wait, remember how I said they alluded to the fact that there was supposed to be something special about one of the characters? You might have thought that I forgot to leave out that special thing…turns out, there was nothing fucking special about her. I guess other than the fact that she had that Palm Pilot? Did I mention this movie was made in 2002? When they were investigating the house, there were also all these fucking underground tunnels leading on for God knows how far, as if the Myers homestead was built on the catacombs of France. Fuck this movie, it was stupid bullshit, please nobody ever watch it.

 

Wolfman Moon Scale



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2 responses to “Halloween: Resurrection (2002) [REVIEW]

  1. HALLOWEEN RESURRECTION was ok but i think they should not had killed off laurie strode it was better than rob zombie’s Halloween 2

    • Well, let’s be honest…pretty much EVERY installment in the Hallwoeen franchise is better than Zombie’s H2, but then again, that’s not saying much. Also, they probably only killed off Laurie in an attempt to say “HOLY SHIT, LOOK AT HOW BIG OUR BALLS ARE FOR KILLING HER OFF!”

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