Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

July 22, 2011 Leave a Comment

I had started defending this movie from the moment I found out Chris Evans was cast. With Captain America being one of my favorite characters, mostly due in part to Ed Brubaker’s writing, I had every reason to be hesitant. After hearing the news about his casting an after watching the movie “Sunshine” a shit ton of times, I was really looking forward to every detail that was released. From the first snapshots taken on set, to the first official images, to the first poster, to the first trailer, all I felt was…”meh”. Really wasn’t too impressed, no matter how badly I wanted to be. Despite the fact that I wasn’t too impressed by anything I had seen, knowing the influence of comic book creators on the film, I knew that it just HAD to be good. Lucky for me, I was right. I was right as shit.

Aww, he’s just a wittle guy!

In early 1940′s Brooklyn, there’s a skinny kid with health problems that consistently prevent him from entering the Army, and that kid’s name is Steve Rogers. After a scientist overhears the fact that he continually tries and is rejected, he is offered the opportunity to enlist, thanks to an experimental division. After all the possible candidates for “Operation: Rebirth”, it is determined that Rogers is the best candidate for the procedure, because what he lacks in physical prowess, he more than makes up for in dedication, courage, and a sense of what’s right. The procedure is a success and he is transformed into a super soldier, but sadly, the one person who held the secret to the experiment was killed by a spy during the procedure. I should also explain that there was one other success in this project, but it was being conducted in Germany with the scientific division of the Nazis, and that man was Johann Schmidt, played by Hugo Weaving. The serum is intended to unlock the latent potential in an individual, and in Rogers’ case, it made him a super soldier, but with Schmidt, it gave him super-strength in addition to a bright red skull for a head. Some might call him “Red Skull” because of how much those physical characteristics make him stand out of a crowd. From the birth of Red Skull onward, the film focuses on the evil, scientific division of the Nazis that refer to themselves as “Hydra”, rather than making the bad guys straight-up Nazis. Apparently the Nazis have had it hard enough as it is. Steve’s ranking officer, Colonel Chester Phillips, played by Tommy Lee Jones, doesn’t seem to give a shit about the success and considers the project a mistake, but luckily Steve gets the opportunity to show his strength and power as a mascot known as “Captain America” in order to raise funds through USO shows across the country.

It just looks like someone went into Photoshop and found the Muscles tool and cranked that shit up as high as it would go

Despite the success that Captain America has, his routine falls a little short when he travels to visit the soldiers involved in World War II. When Rogers hears of a fellow soldiers, including his childhood friend James “Bucky” Barnes, played by Sebastian Stan, Steve takes it upon himself to single-handedly make his way behind Hydra lines to rescue them. After Colonel Phillips sees the success of Rogers, he allows him to take a squad of soldiers, which include Bucky, to go on all sorts of awesome, crazy, Hydra killing missions. Even though the team accomplishes a lot, he unfortunately can’t prevent Bucky from dying on one of these missions. Realizing the severity of the situation, as well as learning of Red Skull’s plan to harness the energy of an extremely powerful, mystical object known as the “Cosmic Cube”, Captain America really steps up his game. After learning that Red Skull is going to try to destroy practically the entire eastern seaboard, Rogers is able to finally catch up to Red Skull, and getting too overwhelmed by the power of the Cosmic Cube, he is “destroyed”…or something. Being the only one who can stop the plane, Steve takes it upon himself to crash the plane into the Arctic Ocean, rather than allow it to destroy all the cities in America. He “dies”, and everyone is sad. However, we then see Steve wake up in a bed, supposedly in the 1940′s. BUT…after freaking out and realizing it is a trick, Steve escapes into the middle of present day Times Square, and then Nick Fury, played by Samuel L. Jackson, says something along the lines of “Are you ready to be in an Avengers movie next summer?”

You guys forgot that this actress was British and has one of those guns that blows things up behind her! You idiots!

The most effective scene in the entire movie when it comes to solidifying Captain America/Steve Rogers is one that you can see in the trailer. When Colonel Phillips tosses a “live” grenade into a group of soldiers at boot camp, everyone runs away, except for Steve, who dives on top of it to try to save other people. That was an effective scene in the trailer, and is just as effective in the movie. It’s difficult to try to explain why Captain America is such an enjoyable character, and it’s that state-of-mind, that self-sacrifice, that courage is what drives him and everything he does. Chris Evans was able to really capture that essence in the ways I knew he would. He was funny when he needed to be, vulnerable when he needed to be, and beat the shit out of Nazis when he had to. Oh, and by the way, I’m just going to make things easier for myself and refer to all of the bad guys as Nazis. What was I saying? Oh yes, Evans was awesome at punching Nazis. In fact, all of the actors and actresses were really enjoyable in this movie, and despite not naming her earlier, I’d like to point out that Hayley Atwell was good as Peggy Carter. My one complaint with Steve Rogers, and it was something that couldn’t be avoided, was when Steve was a scrawny kid before the experience. I’d say he is small for 30% of the movie, and half of that time it is pulled off really well, the other time things looked kind of weird. Unfortunately, that was the nature of the beast, and it certainly had to be a more drastic difference in size with this film than something like Tobey Maguire in Spider-Man. Other than that, all of the effects were really convincing, and the “gloss”, if you will, of everything really added to the sense that this movie took place in the 40′s as opposed to present day.

A little bit of trivia is that this is the first film that Hugo Weaving didn’t require any makeup for

There were quite a few instances where the comic book nerdery came out and I would internally say “OH MAN IT’S THAT GUY FROM THAT THING THAT HAPPENED ONE TIME”, but I prefer not to mention them all. I can’t help but point out one of my biggest delights, which was knowing that Captain America’s secret squad was actually the Howling Commandos, which included Dum Dum Dugan. Seeing Dum Dum getting broken out of the Nazi camp was awesome, and seeing the Howling Commandos so their thing, despite not being called that, was still great. Another moment was also seeing the actual first issue of Captain America, featuring him punching Hitler in the face, being used as part of the USO campaign that Rogers was involved in. One thing that I think made this film standout from all the other Marvel films was the passage of time. Most other stories have involved a series of events taking place that are all directly related to one another, and Event A causes Event B which causes Event C, and the movie’s over. The time between Operation: Rebirth to the first time Steve fights Nazis is over a year, and once he takes charge of the Howling Commandos, we only see a montage of some of their missions, which we are to assume takes place over weeks, if not months. I guess it just kind of helped show Cap as a symbol of good who is continually proving himself, rather than someone who gets kind of thrown into things.

I’m still trying to figure out what that “A” on his helmet stands for. I mean, his name is Steve! There’s no “A” in Steve!

The reason I feel that I didn’t have high hopes for this movie is because nothing can really be adequately be captured in a few seconds for a trailer. The trailer shows quite a few scenes of him running and jumping, but it’s all out of context and not that impressive. I remember saying about the Incredible Hulk movie that one of the best part was seeing Tim Roth’s character run faster, jump higher, and hit harder than everyone else, which is what the appeal of the action sequences were in this film. I could probably watch Captain America beat the hit out of Nazis all day. He punches a guy, throw his shield at a bunch of guys, hit them all, drop kick a guy in the chest, then jump over a tank, then catch his shield, then smash someone with it. That might not be EXACTLY what happens, but close enough. Just to reiterate, I was nervous the action scenes wouldn’t be cool because of the trailer, but they were all awesome. Similar to Thor, this movie served as a prologue to the upcoming Avengers film, but this film was far more entertaining than that one was. It was slow in parts, but once it picked up, I just didn’t want it to stop. Thor was a little anticlimactic, or at least, you only recognized the film as a first step towards the Avengers movie, whereas this movie felt like a complete story that could stand on its own. Well, except for maybe the whole waking up in present day thing, which could have been confusing. I think this might be the first superhero movie I’ve seen since the first X-Men that made me want to go out later that night to see it for a second time. Instead, I’m writing this review to encourage you all to go see this movie, then punch some Nazis in the face.

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X-Men: First Class (2011)

June 4, 2011 18 Comments

 

Despite my allegiance typically falling to Captain America in comics, this movie was probably the comic book movie I was most looking forward to this summer, after having the most doubts. Seeing how often Marvel had been knocking things out of the park while producing their own films, and remembering how shitty that Wolverine movie was, you can’t blame me for being a little hesitant. The first X-Men movie definitely was a game changer and really shot comic books into the mainstream, especially when it comes to financial value. All of these factors in mind, and knowing that this movie was supposed to actually be an origin movie focusing on Magneto, I watched the trailer with bated breath. Then when I watched it, as much as I didn’t want to admit it, it was awesome. The more I watched it, the better it got. And then when more and more trailers and character trailers and TV spots kept coming out, I had to limit myself, thinking I would only be disappointed. Luckily, I was wrong. I’m going to try not to spoil too much, but if you’re one of those people who read this blog NOT looking for spoilers, go away and cry in a corner or something. Actually, I’m sure you can read this and be fine.

 

It’s almost like this chess match means MORE than just a chess match…almost…

 

This film starts off the same exact way as the first X-Men film starts, showing a young Jewish boy in a concentration camp being torn from his parents, and his emotions cause him to warp a metal fence. We then get to see this young boy having his mother threatened by a Nazi scientist, played by Kevin Bacon, and noticing how powerful his mutant abilities are after his mother has been killed. We then meet a young Charles Xavier catching a shape-shifting mutant named Raven Darkholme in his kitchen, and the two strike up a friendship. As these characters get older, we see that the young Jewish boy, named Erik Lehnsherr and now played by Michael Fassbender, is in pursuit of the man who killed his mother. meanwhile, Charles Xavier, played by James McAvoy, is attending Oxford, honing his telepathic abilities while also studying genetics. Charles is contacted by a C.I.A. agent after she witnesses people who appear to her as “mutants”, and knowing his expertise, gets involved in tracking these mutants down. While Charles helps intercept these powerful mutants, we also learn that Erik is after the same person, Sebastian Shaw, who was the person who executed his mother. Both Charles and Erik fail at apprehending Shaw, yet realizing how powerful a team they make, team up with the C.I.A. to track down other mutants, and then there’s a fun montage.

 

I tried to find a photo of everyone in uniform, but instead, all I could find was a picture of all the characters LOOKING at their box full of uniforms. Meh, you get the idea.

 

Through their searching, they find a mutant with insect wings, one who adapts to survive in any given situation, a mutant that can create super-sonic sound waves with his voice, another who can channel his energy into a focused energy beam, as well as meeting a mutant working for the C.I.A. named Henry McCoy, played by Nicholas Hoult, whose mutation involves the power, speed, and agility of some sort of animal. After these mutants are recruited, Charles and Xavier also learn of mutants working for Shaw, with abilities as strong as teleportation and another with the power to create powerful whirlwinds from his hands. Not to mention to telepathic mutant Emma Frost, played by January Jones, who also has the ability to turn her skin to diamonds, as well as always wear clothes where her boobs look huge. Very important superpower, clearly. After learning that Shaw is playing the Russians against the United States and vice versa, and considering the fact that it’s 1962 and the world is on the brink of a nuclear war, Charles and Erik start training their young recruits, thus making them the “first class” of X-Men. There are training scenes, and fun montages, and then Henry tries to create a serum to hide the physical manifestations of mutants, only to get even more beastly, and being covered in blue hair. There’s a big fight between the good mutants and the bad mutants and some people get hurt and other people switch sides, and in case you didn’t know already, Charles and Erik become divided on their outlooks of humans. After the whole debacle, when referring to the fact that Charles will train as many mutants as possible, and claiming that these mutants weren’t quite “G-Men”, they are referred to as “X-Men”, and I guess that’s the end. Oh, by the way, THERE IS NOTHING AFTER THE END CREDITS. Don’t waste your time, because no, there’s no hidden scene after the credits of X-Men: First Class. Am I being clear enough here? You can leave…like, right away.

 

Just as much gesticulating, but now with a cooler helmet!

 

NOW THAT’S WHAT I’M FUCKING TALKING ABOUT. All of my doubts about this movie were completely squashed, because it was awesome. It’s also over two hours long, so they really embraced the opportunity to start up a new trilogy. It’s hard to appease fans of the comics, as well as fans of the previous movies, AND people who knew nothing about the comics, all in one shot. As far as referencing the previous films go, there were two actors from the previous franchise, but I won’t spoil who they were or the context. In addition to that, to those who were paying attention, the musical cues all seemed to be derivative of the score from the first three films. You might not be able to think of what that music was from those films off the top of your head, but when you hear it in this movie, you’ll definitely recognize it. As far as appeasing comic book fans, even though this lineup wasn’t actually the “first class”, I think they did a great job of picking to highlight. Mainly, none of the characters were necessarily all that popular, and could be used in virtually any context. Of course there were people who knew them, but to just go to someone on the street and ask if they knew about the X-Men characters named Banshee, Havoc, Riptide, or Azazel, you’d probably be met with confused faces.

 

Must have been love at first…BITE! Hahaha, get it?! Because that’s Beast, and beasts typically bite things.

 

There were a few characters in this film that had already been featured in X-Men movies, so obviously there were certainly expectations as far as their portrayals. James McAvoy showed Charles as cocky and confident, using his knowledge as pickup lines , which isn’t really a side of him we’ve seen before. In addition to that, we also got a chance to see him being unsure of himself, at times, as well as extremely passionate and emotional, which could only have been shown with a younger Charles, compared to the more wise interpretation by Sir Patrick Stewart. Mystique was played by Jennifer Lawrence, who is a character we have only known as evil, and generally is pictured as being blue and covered in scales. Despite typically picturing her as blue, the character was extremely human in this movie, and you understood her feelings of isolation from humanity a lot more clearly. With Henry McCoy, we got to see a genius who was timid and a little unsure of himself, even though he was rarely, if ever, wrong about anything. Nicholas Hoult did an excellent job with this character, as opposed to Kelsey Grammer, who was basically blue Frasier. Kevin Bacon had to convey an inherit evilness without being too over-the-top, which he managed quite well. I was quite nervous about Emma Frost, considering how she is such an exaggerated version of anything ever, both her physical form as well as anything she ever does or say. January Jones even admitted that being as curvy as Emma Frost is drawn is practically impossible, and once people accept that, they’ll accept her. And ya know what? I did. She managed to be a bitch in the few lines of dialogue she had, and managed to dress in an extremely revealing way without necessarily looking like a slut. Even if there weren’t as many strong actors as I’ve mentioned, it wouldn’t matter, because this really was Michael Fassbender’s film. He was able to show Erik Lehnsherr in his prime, who was driven, powerful, angry, and had something to prove. He was ruthless, and didn’t care who or what got in the way of his mission, even if it was his best friend Charles. Man, he was awesome.

 

HAVE NO FEAR…YOU SEE EMMA FROST IN HER UNDERWEAR. SEE? LOOK UP.

 

The reason why this movie worked is because it really seem like 20th Century Fox knew that this would be one of their last chances to gain financially from this franchise. They had to be able to not only treat this movie as a starting point for all of these characters and these storylines, as well finish out the story in case there couldn’t be another one, and still leave their possibilities open for a sequel. They managed to achieve all of these things in a fun and exciting way, and by placing it during the Cuban missile crisis, also added quite a bit of seriousness and legitimacy to the whole thing. This movie was more of a spy movie from the 60′s than it was your typical comic book movie, and hopefully people comes out to see it by the millions. I know that I really can only compare it to Thor so far, but it was better than Thor. Fuck it, it was better than most of the other X-Men movies, with maybe the exception of X2. This movie set the bar even higher than it had already been for Green Lantern to come out in two weeks, but even if that sucks, I can always go see X-Men: First Class again. Unless of course, they cut out scenes of January Jones, because then I might as well blow my brains out.

 

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X2 (2003)

May 10, 2011 Leave a Comment



I think I had mentioned seeing this movie on opening day, which, I guess, means I’m mildly full of shit. Granted, I did see the midnight showing of this movie, which was technically on opening day, but it wasn’t the first morning showing of the day. Sorry for being such an asshole. However, I would like to note that I did see this at midnight with Lazer, which I think totally makes up for any lies I have told you. I remember as this movie was coming out I made sure to keep my eyes out for toys at the local Toys R’ Us, but I only saw a handful, and they were all kind of shitty. I don’t think that stopped me from buying some little wolverine guy who stood on a base and when you rotated him, his claws went crazy, but these were shitty by comparison.



Pretty sure that Sir Ian McKellen got paid per gesticulation

 

The film opens with an intense scene involving a mutant and their assassination attempt on the president, leaving behind a dagger with a ribbon saying “Mutant Freedom Now!”, yet the character is one we haven’t seen before. We then join the students of Xavier’s school at a museum, and are reintroduced to the mutants going by the names “Iceman” and “Pyro”. I’m sure you can figure their powers out. They get busted using their powers in a very public place, and are reprimanded by Jean Grey, who Cyclops notes has had trouble with her psychic abilities overpowering her recently. Wolverine returns to the school after gathering some information about his past, which is just in time for him to look after the school while Storm and Jean try to find the mutant assassin and Xavier and Cyclops visit Magneto in his plastic prison. It’s during this time where Wolverine is the only X-Man available that the military man William Stryker, played by Brian Cox, invades the school to eliminate the mutant threat. It is during this siege that Stryker alludes to having information about Wolverine’s past, but Wolverine’s priorities are with the students, which he helps escape, and hit the road with Iceman, Rogue, and Pyro.



OH I’VE GOT A JOYSTICK YOU CAN MANHANDLE…IF YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN…COLECOVISION

 

While the siege was going on, we meet the mutant assassin Nightcrawler, who has the ability to teleport short distances. It was this power that lead to his involvement in the assassination attempt, which we also learn was conceived by Stryker, using a direct application of a chemical to a mutants neck which results in mind control. Strangely, Stryker has an assistant in all of this, which happens to be a mutant named Lady Deathstrike whose powers are similar to those of Wolverine, despite Stryker clearly hating mutants. Mystique returns in this film to inject a guard with liquid metal so that Magneto can extract that metal and escape the prison, but only after Xavier and Cyclops have been drugged and kidnapped by Stryker. Stryker’s ultimate goal is to use his own son’s mutant mind-control powers to convince Xavier to use a makeshift Cerebro device to kill all mutants. The only way to save mutants is by having Wolverine, Rogue, Iceman, Storm, and Jean Grey team up with Magneto and Mystique, also joined by new bad guy in training Pyro. The following rescue mission results in Wolverine killing Lady Deathstrike with a direct injection of adamantium, Magneto attempting to use the mutant killing device to kill anything that isn’t a mutant, Wolverine allowing Stryker to die, rather than learn more about his past, and sadly, the self-sacrifice of Jean Grey, which saves all the good guys.



Brian Cox was totally Brian Cox-ing the shit out of this movie. It was awesome.

 

THAT’S WHAT I’M FUCKING TALKING ABOUT! Eight years after it’s release, this film continues to be one of the best comic book movies ever made. With the first film setting things up, and not having to deal with introductions of the principal cast, the filmmakers were able to get right to the action, which was literal and figurative action. We only met a handful of new characters, and other than the antagonist, none of them played a major role, so you didn’t need to spend too much time with them. All of the actors really immersed themselves in their characters, and started to make them their own, rather than relying to closely on the plethora of course material they had out there. There are different variations of all of these characters found in different Marvel universes, and I feel as though the portrayals of these characters from this film and the previous film, deserve their own recognition. Well, everybody except Halle Berry, because Storm still sucked in this movie, but she got a bigger part because she was just won an Oscar for getting boned doggystyle by Billy Bob Thornton.



Poor thing…grew out your nails and squeezed into leather, only to die after only saying one line

 

For as much as this movie was accessible, like the previous film, to people who nothing about comics, it also really spoke to comic book fans. The plot of this film was heavily borrowed from the events of the “God Loves, Man Kills” storyline in X-Men comics from the early 80′s. Even Stryker’s name is used from that graphic novel, albeit his profession being changed from a priest to a militant figure. However, the idea of kidnapping Professor X in hopes of killing all the mutants is taken almost directly, which might not be something every moviegoer realizes, but every comic book fan would appreciate. In addition to that, there are more subtle nods to the franchise found throughout. Things like Dr. Hank McCoy, who people know as the mutant Beast, appearing on TV, as well as a searching through a computer to see all sorts of names familiar to comic book readers, and it’s those small touches that really appease the nerd in all of us. Finally, I’d just like to mention that for as awesome as this movie was, that whole two hours, that the most exciting moment took place at the very end, which was hearing Jean Grey repeat a dialogue spoken by Professor X in the first film, while the camera flies over the place where she dies, as we see the faint outline of a flaming bird, right before jumping to the credits. This was a direct reference to the Dark Phoenix saga, which involves the death, as well as evil rebirth, of Jean Grey. If that moment wasn’t enough to show you how great of a fit it was to have Bryan Singer directing these movies, nothing would, because that moment caused many nerdgasms worldwide.


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The Walking Dead – Season One (2010)

December 18, 2010 Leave a Comment

 

Considering it wasn’t all that long ago that I talked about the comic and the TV show, I’m just going to briefly discuss my thoughts on this season. And you’re right, it was almost a whole month and a half ago that I talked about seeing the first episode, but I don’t give a shit, because I really just want my thoughts out there. The first episode was a good introduction to the world of “The Walking Dead”, set up what the rules were, and let you know what kind of ride it would be. Considering most people watching had never read there was a lot to explain, and the first episode did so adequately. The second episode introduced you to a few more characters, that were both featured in the comic book and not featured in the comic book, and storywise, it wasn’t really similar to the comics at all. You could picture the events of the show as feasibly taking place in the comic book, but still, some people were upset with the changes. In my opinion, episode 3 is where things really started to come together. The first five minutes were incredibly tense to watch, and all you were waiting for was Rick to finally meet back up with Lori and Carl, but knowing that she was fucking Shane made things realllllly uncomfortable. The first two episodes had set up the world they lived in, but the most tense moments of the show were how this little quasi-society functioned, which is why the comic book is so successful. The other three episodes of the series had it’s ups and downs as far as emotional tension vs. action and gore and dealing with zombies. The final scenes of the season left us with enough resolution in case the second season didn’t get picked up, but there were enough things hinted at to give you things to look forward to with Season Two. For example, only one character who survives to the end of this season isn’t in the comic book, and it’s a character with quite a bit of depth and purpose to them, everyone else is already established in the comic. Also, there was a scene where a doctor the group meets tells Rick that they will wish they had died, and when Rick asks why, the doctor whispers something in his ear that the viewers can’t hear. As a reader, I automatically assumed that the doctor told Rick that his wife was pregnant, which was a big plot point in the comics that caused a lot of tension with the characters. Maybe I’m wrong, and the doctor mentioned something completely unrelated, but it gave the viewers something to look forward to in Season Two. Considering all of the creators involved with this series, I think we can expect a few more seasons of highly entertaining zombie drama. Suck on that, Mad Men!

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The Walking Dead

October 31, 2010 Leave a Comment



Did you guys know that the TV show started as a comic book? Whoa! A comic book being adapted into a different medium in hopes of entertaining the masses? UNHEARD OF! Sorry kids, the Hollywood machine is once again taking something that you love, which obviously you are so cool for liking, and turning it into something that more people can enjoy. That’s what I’ll never understand about remakes or adaptations. When someone doesn’t like it, they act all butthurt like they are the only person out there who knows what it is, and that everyone else has taken crazy pills. Well, guess what, the remake/adaptation couldn’t really move forward if someone somewhere who was somehow attached to the project said “Sure! Go for it!”, and if they are willing to take a chance, then so should you. I got the opportunity to see the series premiere of The Walking Dead, which starts TONIGHT on AMC, but before I get to that, let’s talk a little about the comic book.


The poor guy doesn’t even have any panties on

 

In the first few panels of the comic book, we see a police officer getting shot in a firefight and fall into a coma. He wakes up in the hospital much later, but healed. He can’t seem to find anyone, and the only people he sees are dead bodies. The first sign of movement is actually from a corpse that was presumed to be dead, and just like that, it’s off to the races. The story follows our “hero”, Rick Grimes, in his attempt to find his family and put together some sort of semblance of life. What happened? Why did it happen? Are there more people out there? These are all questions posed in the pages written by Robert Kirkman and artists Tony Moore and later Charlie Adlard. Well, spoiler alert, yes Rick finds his family very early on, as well as a few other survivors that are asking themselves the same questions.


Just drive the tank on top of them, you dipshits!

 

Obviously I am a fan of zombies, so I started reading this series back in 2005 and have been buying it monthly for years now. The black and white images combined with the talented writing of Kirkman is what makes me keep coming back, month after month. What really separates this story from the plethora of every other zombie story ever told is its longevity. The comics have been published for seven years now, and there is still the familiar core of characters. No other zombie movie/comic/show/book has been able to do what Kirkman has with Walking Dead. Let’s compare to Romero’s “Dead” movies. They all take place in one universe that slowly decays into oblivion, but it’s different characters throughout. Once the credits roll, we don’t see those characters in that universe ever again. Add to that the fact that the films seems to jump years, and even decades, with each successive film, and you get an idea of the universe, but not all the details. That all changed with Walking Dead. You have one group of characters and we have seen them at their highest and lowest moments. We have seen them succeed and fail. We don’t know what their future holds, which is why we come back every single month to see what is happening. The series is about 80 issues in, and Kirkman has yet to resort to giving a cause for the zombie apocalypse because he doesn’t have to. It’s not about wanting to know why these things happened, we want to see how these characters pull through and find reasons to go on. With every issue we question who the “Walking Dead” really are; are they the zombies who got up and started walking around, or are all of these characters just delaying their inevitable deaths and are the dead objects that are still on their feet?


AMC’s Walking Dead glamour shot. Or, promo shot. Whatever.

 

The words “Walking Dead TV Series” sent chills down the spines of everyone who has ever read this book. Bad chills. In the months to come, however, more and more details emerged that sent the good chills. This show was going to be on AMC, the cable channel responsible for such shows as “Mad Men” and “Breaking Bad”, some of the best shows on television in the past decade. Robert Kirkman being as involved as he is in the whole process, making sure everything was done correctly. The series being helmed by Frank Darabont, director of “The Shawshank Redemption” and “The Green Mile”, and the criminally underrated “The Mist”. In-depth videos of behind the scenes footage that showed you just how close to the comic the series will be, even down to the detail and time spent on one single zombie. All these things started to send good chills down people’s spines. As I mentioned, I got a chance to see the first episode, and it’s as good as you can imagine. People were worried about a horror comic being on a cable channel, but take it from me, the violence is not at all tamed down. The comic never really relied on cursing to get their point across, so just because they can’t yell “HOLY FUCK IT’S A ZOMBIE” doesn’t mean you won’t get to see a zombies brains get splattered everywhere after it explodes. However, keep in mind, that the episode that debuts on Halloween is merely a starting point. They have already approved a second season, so get prepared for the long haul. You might, like me, watch the first episode and wonder “I waited this long for that?“, but it’s only an indicator of things to come. This might go down as one of the best horror TV show since “Tales from the Darkside” or even “Are You Afraid of the Dark?”.


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Punisher: War Zone (2008)

October 23, 2010 2 Comments



I am going to attempt to talk about this film without just yelling in caps lock the whole time, because that’s what this film makes me want to do. The first Punisher, starring Thomas Jane and John Travolta, wasn’t necessarily a complete failure, but, it was PG-13. A movie about a character known for his extreme brutality is rated PG-13? What the fuck? Sure, the character development and the actual plot was entertaining enough, but it definitely seemed a little too family friendly. Even though there were explosions, and one guy got stabbed under his chin and up into his head, it just needed a little bit more. Lucky for us, people realized that, and gave us Punisher: War Zone.


Ray Stevenson was way more brutal than Pretty Boy Jane. Just kidding, Thomas Jane, you were awesome in Deep Blue Sea!



Frank Castle’s family was killed because of organized crime, so the Vietnam veteran has snapped and decides he will punish every single criminal he can, usually in the most brutal ways possible. His enemy in this film? Billy the Beaut, who falls into a glass crushing device and becomes the disfigured villain Jigsaw. Frank has a sidekick who helps him acquire weapons as well as intel on the criminals, which, believe it or not, comes back to haunt him. Oh, there are also a bunch of parkour-loving bad guys that are constantly getting aggro all over the city, jumping around while heavy metal plays in the background. Long story short, Frank Castle kills EVERY MOTHER FUCKER HE SEES.


TAKING OUT COPS WITH JUST ONE HAND…SO FUCKING AGGRO



Let’s talk for a moment about all the ways that people die in this movie. First person who dies on-screen? After cutting the power at a fancy dinner, the Punisher jumps onto the table, slams a road flare down, and STABS SOMEONE THROUGH THE TOP OF THEIR FUCKING HEAD. Remember those parkour guys I was talking about? They are jumping from rooftop to rooftop, trying to one-up each other. As one is flying through the air, we see a rocket heading towards him and BLOWS HIM THE FUCK UP. Who do we see then? THE PUNISHER WITH A FUCKING BAZOOKA. HE USED A GODDAMNED BAZOOKA TO KILL ONE PERSON. He then throws another parkour guy off the roof, and he gets impaled on a wrought iron fence…ouch. What’s worse? FRANK JUMPS OF THE BUILDING AND MANAGE TO KICK THE GUY IN THE FACE ON HIS WAY DOWN. Later on, we see Frank grab a wormy little henchmen by the collar, AND PUNCHES HIM SO GODDAMNED HARD IN THE FACE THAT THE WHOLE FUCKING THING CAVES IN. Later on, Frank whips open a door to see a fat bad guy sitting there, and the bad guy is all “OH FUCK” and then the Punisher SHOOTS HIM IN THE HEAD WITH TWO GUNS AT THE SAME EXACT MOMENT, CAUSING HIS HEAD TO EXPLODE.


Jigsaw and his brother Looney Bin Jim, also know as Eugene Tooms from some X Files episodes. The X Files are so awesome.




So hopefully you can get a sense of how much they cranked up the violence in this film, and for the better. Unfortunately, they were still playing catch-up to try to make up for the first film. The plot of this film is okay, at best, and they don’t really explain why Castle is so incredibly unbalanced. This movie definitely seemed to be a “Sorry guys!” to all the fans of comic books, but wasn’t quite as accessible to the average viewer. There were definitely some references that comic book fans would say “FUCK YEAH!” to, but didn’t really further the plot. They had a bigger role for Detective Soap, who is known in the comics for being the guy that helps Frank avoid the police and give him leads, but I still think some newcomers might have been confused. The final showdown also took place at the “Brad Street Motel”, which I had to nudge Paige and my friend Nate at why that was so funny, Brad Street being a major artist for Punisher comics for quite a few years now. If you like the comics, watch this movie, and if you don’t like the comics, watch it anyway, because the violence is so fucking insane and awesome. Or, just watch the Rated R trailer that I am going to post below.


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Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (2010)

August 17, 2010 9 Comments



You may or may not remember my review from only a few weeks ago about the Scott Pilgrim books, and that I mildly enjoyed them (in case you don’t remember the review, click here). My introduction to the character was through the trailer, which I had luke warm feelings about. After reading the books, I was a little more intrigued by the film, but still not blown away. However, with the magic of the internet, I saw someone who had taken the audio from the trailer and synced it up with images from the book, and once I saw how similar the dialogue and shots were, I grew more and more excited. I finally caved in, felt like a dork, but went to see Scott Pilgrim on opening weekend.



Why does Scott Pilgrim love Smashing Pumpkins so much? THEY HAVE THE SAME INITIALS! It took me a long time to figure that out, so, you’re welcome.





If you are too lazy to read the review I posted for the books, I will once again explain the plot. For those loyal readers out there who can recite every one of my reviews back to me, feel free to skip down the page a little bit. Scott is a 20-something looking for love, still hurt over his last breakup. He stumbles upon Ramona Flowers, who he then obsessively pines for and dreams about. They hit things off, yet after smooching, Scott learns he must fight Ramona’s 7 Evil Ex’s if he wishes to be with her. Also, there is some indie rock thrown in there, along with videogame references and general hipster mockery.



Um, excuse, ya know, in the comic, he described Ramona by putting his fingers near his face, not with a drawing. Does Edgar Wright find anything sacred these days!?



Well, that’s the short version of the story at least. Before we go further, I’m just going to go ahead and say that I really liked the film, possibly more than the books. With that in mind, I did think the movie was a little long. It might have just been the pacing of the source material, but I almost expected to walk out of the theater and have it be three hours from when I walked in. Turns out, it’s just barely under two hours. Either way, it felt long, and it had its slow moments, as well as multiple endings. Now that we have the thing I disliked, let’s move on to the reasons I did enjoy it so much.



Why yes, that is the silhouette of Jason Schwartzman! I am quite good a celebrity silhouette spotting.



We’re pretty much all sick of Michael Cera playing awkward guy who likes a girl, right? well, the reason he seems to keep getting cast is because he is so damned good at playing that character. He was slightly more empowered in this film, and I wouldn’t have been surprised to have seen his character being played by John Cusack, if it was maybe 15 years ago. Mary Elizabeth Winstead was great as Ramona, the mysteriously aloof, cool girl with a troubled past, similar to Kate Winslet’s character in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Ellen Wong was great as Knives Chau, the young, innocent, mildly crazy former lover of Scott, who balanced annoyingly obsessive with wounded and vulnerable extremely well. All of the supporting cast was great as well, especially Alison Pill as Kim Pine, who I felt brought life to a character to someone in the comics I thought of as mostly a bitch.


Scott Pilgrim is being throttled by the future Captain America! Take THAT comic book dork loser idiots!



As far as the style of the film, such as the visual gags, sound effects, and references to videogames, I feel the movie pulled it off quite well. The didn’t overuse these story-telling devices, and more importantly, they didn’t under-use them either. A lot of movies with similar gags will use it a few times, then just stop. This film kept it running the whole time, so all of the visual jokes were really entertaining, and the music even more so. Not just the visual gags, but all the audio jokes as well. Actually, all the music in this film was a lot of fun. Because there are a lot of jokes in the book about the band sucking/not sucking, I had a hard time making up my own music for them. In the movie, I feel that the sucking/not sucking joke worked pretty well, whereas most indie bands really suck, but are still fun to listen to, or are sometimes extremely talented, and play kind of crappy music.



In the book, when this scene took place, in black and white, with little cartoons…it was WAY more sexy. Wait, I mean less. Of course I don’t get turned on by cartoon characters! Heh heh…so anyway….uh…boobs?



Ultimately, I feel that the six Scott Pilgrim books being condensed into one film got the message across more easily. Scott Pilgrim fell for an interesting looking girl, ignoring all the candidates around him. Knowing that she was attractive and mysterious, her relationship history was obviously questionable. Scott had to fight, but essentially “defeat” all former lovers, if he stood a chance with Ramona. At the end of the film, not only had he defeated all the Ex’s, but also had to overcome himself. All the time people might spend worrying about the past of someone they are in a relationship with comes back to how someone thinks about themselves, and once they have conquered their own fears and self doubts, anything is possible, and nothing else matters. I got this far more strongly on film than in the black and white pages of the book, and am nervous other people didn’t take that message away. Even though this is just a fun little film, the message of conquering your own doubts being more important than letting things from the past prevent your happiness, is a heartfelt and thought-provoking one. However, this film could have been better had Will Arnett been involved.


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Pride of Baghdad

May 20, 2010 3 Comments


I’m sure most of you assume this book will be about the homosexual revolution in Baghdad, so I am sorry to disappoint. The “pride” in which the title refers to is a pride of lions that escaped from a zoo after a bombing by Americans in 2003. Written by Brian K. Vaughan, I bought this book when it came out without knowing anything about it, other than Y: The Last Man was awesome and written by Vaughan. It was shrink-wrapped and everything so I couldn’t easily slip through the pages with my greasy little fingers. Lucky for me, I was not at all disappointed. I even bought this book for my brother for Christmas one year. And in case you’re reading this, you still have a bunch of my comics you jerk! I didn’t forget!

Someone needs to tell this lion to cool his jets! (insert sad trombone sound)

The group of lions that this book focuses on are a young male, Ali,  his father Zill  and mother Noor, and a much older, more jaded female, Safa. We see them in the Baghdad zoo, trying to figure out a way to escape. Shortly after, they realize that something is going on that is causing danger for the keepers, and then walls start exploding. We see them bicker and complain about what is happening around them, who is to blame, where to go for safety, and how to find food. We also realize that Safa spent a considerable time in the wild before becoming captive, and that Noor has spent most of her life in captivity, so most time is spent bickering which life was better. We also learn of a love affair between Zill and Safa, which is obviously a touchy subject. Through the course of finding food, running into threats, and eventually coming to an end to their search for freedom, that human casualties aren’t the only casualties in war.

SPOILER ALERT: This giraffe’s head explodes. Sorry!

It’s quite difficult using animals to tell a story, especially a story about the horror of war. Vaughan did an amazing job of telling both sides of the story, while also making a statement about the current occupation of American troops in Iraq, without being too heavy-handed. Whether it is Safa talking about being raped by multiple lions in her life in the wild and security she felt being in a zoo, or an old turtle the pride comes across who discusses how long people have been fighting over the “black stuff” that comes from the Earth. In addition to being wonderfully written, the art by Niko Henrichon is just as incredible. He has very angular and distinct illustrations that give everything not only a realistic look, but somehow also an exaggerated look. Not everything in life is round and smooth as in most books, but nothing can really be as sharp as the way Henrichon draws them, or can they? In my experience, even some of the best artists can only settle for doing a “good” job, meaning no matter how good they are, they still play second fiddle to the writer. In this case, I don’t think this book could have succeeded without the combination of Vaughan and Henrichon. I keep trying to naturally segue into all of the topics that this book touches on, from war to freedom to animal rights to civil rights, but it’s just such a complex a wonderful book that I recommend you do yourself a favor and just read it.

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Y: The Last Man

May 4, 2010 Leave a Comment

The first time I was informed of this comic, I was in Newbury Comics and my friend Matt who worked there said “I’ve been reading this comic about the last man on Earth and it’s just him and his monkey who is always throwing shit at him”. To be fair, this is a somewhat accurate description. I didn’t think anything of it, and didn’t read a single issue of it until I bought one of those books Vertigo published that includes the first issue of multiple series in hopes of attracting more readers. After actually giving the comic a chance, I will say that out of all the comic books I have read, it has one of the absolute best first issues of anything ever, and to this day continues to be one of my all-time favorite series.

This story is complete fiction. Most women threaten to kill themselves if I stay alive, rather than kill themselves because I’m dead.

To try to summarize what happens in a 60 issue series would be absolutely ridiculous. Nor will I try to summarize the events of the story as told through each volume of trade paperback, because there are ten of those. In the very first issue, we find out that Yorick Brown is just out of college, a failing escape artist/illusionist (anything but “magician”) and his girlfriend is studying Anthropology in Australia. In an attempt to do something with his life, he takes on the challenge of training a helper monkey to prove to his girlfriend he can be responsible. As he is about to propose to her with a ring he bought at a local magic shop, the phone disconnects and every mammal with a Y chromosome on the planet dies…except for him and his monkey, named Ampersand.

It’s like all the guys on the world starting getting their periods out of their heads

Just because I said I couldn’t summarize everything that happens, doesn’t mean i won’t give you some idea of what takes place, without ruining anything. Yorick’s mother was involved in politics so he leaves new York City to go to Washington, D.C. to check on his mother and father. Seeing as how so many industries, whether it be the electric company, transit authority, airlines, etc. were male dominated fields, the world is a no man’s land, literally and figuratively. Seeing as people don’t know why the “gendercide” as it’s called happened, Yorick is able to wear a gas mask and pretend he thinks it’s a disease. There are people who claim it was religious in nature, a terrorist attack, or even a plot by our own government. One group that forms is called “Daughters of the Amazon” who believe that the Earth cleansed itself of the patriarchy of the world and they embrace what is going on, looting and murdering anyone who disagrees with this message. So let’s just say, it’s not as easy to get from New York City to Washington, D.C. as one might think. Upon arrival, Yorick’s mother first tries to keep him locked in a safe-house to make sure the only living male is protected. After much discussion, it is determined that he should seek out Dr. Allison Mann, the leading researcher when it comes to human cloning. Aided by his escort, who only goes by the name Agent 355, they head to Boston in hopes of finding her. Shortly after he leaves, Yorick’s sister, Hero, arrives in Washington, as she has now crudely removed her left breast, as that is a crucial part of being initiated into the Daughters of the Amazon.

There are quite a few moments involving dramatic standoff’s involving guns. This is one of them.

And that’s where I am going to leave out the details. It’s really interesting to see the way the writer, Brian K. Vaughan, discusses how no men existing anymore would play out, and does so from both sides of the spectrum. He discusses how in popular culture there weren’t as many rock bands or as many action movies, but also discusses how there is less violent crimes like rape and domestic violence. He also talks about the politics by pointing out that if all the men died, the head of agriculture would be promoted to president. Obviously that’s a slight exaggeration, but the federal government is another male dominated area. There is also a storyline involving a women’s prison releasing all of their inmates, and they move to a community where they have food, water, electricity, all of the necessities. Yorick actually freaks out and accuses them of being terrible people because of their crimes, but the women go on to discuss how being in prison showed them they really don’t need men at all, and they are more than capable to take over every responsibility that men previously dominated. There is also a comparison to the fact that these things happened during World War II as well.

The juveniles reading this probably think this is some sort of masturbation reference, but he is actually just trying to set baldy up for a high-five

Another interesting discussion that is raised is the fact that being the last man on Earth makes you the most, and only, eligible bachelor. Sure, Yorick could have boned every girl he saw and claim that it was for the good of the species, but he doesn’t. This might have something to do with the fact that the only woman he wants to be with is in Australia and he is trying to make his way there, but I also think that Vaughan didn’t want to take the easy way out of this one. It is harder to write about a character he doesn’t do what others do, and go the less obvious route. This isn’t to say that Yorick isn’t faced with some tough moral decisions, and he is only human, but still, I was glad to see it wasn’t the fantasy most guys would imagine it to be. Which I commend Yorick for, because he seems to find himself balls-deep in attractive comic book ladies who want to jump his bones.

This is the cover of the final issue. Ha! Take that! Spoiler alert my ass! There is totally a cover on the last issue that implies…things!

I am not going to touch on the ending and the answers you get about the gendercide, but I think you will be surprised. I mentioned before, but this is one of my favorite comic book series of all time, right up there next to Preacher. Out of the whole 60 issues, there were maybe four issues that aren’t all that exciting. Not even saying they are bad, but just a few that don’t directly relate to the main characters, and four out of 60 really isn’t all that bad. The first 55 issues are some of the most entertaining, engaging, and thought-provoking comics I have read. The last five issues are all of that, as well as containing some of the most emotionally powerful things I have read, specifically issue 60. This book is fun when it needs to be fun, serious when it needs to be serious, and I really can’t recommend it enough.

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From Hell

May 2, 2010 Leave a Comment

I didn’t even know this book existed until they made a movie “based” on it in 2001 starring Johnny Depp, but to be honest, I feel like a lot of people went through this experience. It’s been on my “to read” list for quite some time, so I figure waiting almost ten years from the movie being released was as good as any. I think I might have also subconsciously made a connection to Alan Moore hating this book, because he seems like a bitter and angry old hermit, chastising any work he has ever done. I know this isn’t entirely true, he just hates people taking his works and turning them into something completely different than what was intended. It’s not so much his own work that he hates, it’s just the money-making machine of Hollywood who will rape and pillage any interesting idea, especially if it involves conspiracies, murders, and prostitute. So I expect them to make a movie out of my autobiography any day now.

The masons always had the coolest handshakes, and I would know…

Speaking of murder, conspiracy, and prostitution, let me jump into the plot of this book. In case anyone has seen the movie, or planned on it, you might consider some of this stuff spoilers, but in the context of the book, there aren’t really many surprises. An heir to the throne has an illegitimate child with a “woman of the night”, but only the two of them know about it. Well, that is, until it is revealed that there are four other women of the night that also know this secret, and they wish to blackmail the royal family to make some extra money. The Queen then orders her best surgeon to take care of all these women, and the time frame coincides with the time frame and violence of Jack the Ripper.

Try saying THAT shit ten times fast! Or even once…I got distracted before finishing.

Let’s just get out of the way that Alan Moore is insane. Obviously I mean he is insane in the best way possible, being responsible for some of the best works of graphic fiction ever, but insane nonetheless. I wouldn’t be surprised if he actually believes he time traveled to the 19th century, and his dialogue is pretty convincing. Not like I was alive back then, but still. He really just seems to have a lot of respect for what happened and trying to make things as accurate as possible. With both the geography of London, to the severity of the murders, to even bringing in the Elephant Man, he doesn’t seem to be glamorizing the murders, but rather posing the question “What if?”.  The combination of the politics and inclusion of the occult and freemasons, everything was tied together seamlessly and this “history” seems entirely possible.

Who would be gardening at night? Oh, that psycho freak the Elephant Man.

Moore’s contribution is only half of it. The art, done by Eddie Campbell, was what really tied this book together. Granted, his strong suit might not have been clearly defining differences between most of his male characters in his black and white sketches, but the dialogue helped keep everything flowing smoothly. And if I am mentioning dialogue, it should be mentioned that the dialogue was written by hand, whereas most comics just do all of that in post production. Not only was all the dialogue by hand, but he would sometimes change his own handwriting depending on which character was speaking, with how much intensity, and with what emotions. It really wasn’t until I started seeing his architectural sketches that I could truly appreciate his work. You might be flipping page after page of characters having sex or killing people, but as soon as you see one of his buildings, you can’t help but stop for a minute and take in every line of his work.

Lesson learned? Never trust a man in a top hat.

In retrospect, I am glad I waited this long to read this book, as it is quite a heavy piece of fiction. I mostly mean it’s actually heavy, because it’s big. Had I seen the movie starring Johnny Depp and ran out and read this, I would have been cranky. I also would have been like 15 years old and listening to Limp Bizkit or something, but that’s besides the point. The depictions of violence in black and white made the whole ordeal seem more gruesome as it looked sometimes as if even Campbell got caught up in the brutality and scribbled on the paper harder and harder. The sex scenes also seemed to be dirtier than if they were in full color, because seeing them in a sketch format, it seemed as though some old pervert was locked in his basement drawing these images and, well, I’ll let you fill in what he might be doing while thinking of those images. Moore uses the vernacular of the time to great effect, so you tend to forget that this story was taking place over a hundred years before blogs even existed. I wouldn’t recommend everyone run out and get this, but if you are willing to commit to it, it’s a wonderful piece of crime noir.

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