The House of the Devil (2009)

November 11, 2011 Leave a Comment

 

How long have you guys been reading my blog? No really, how long? Here’s a quick test: what did I claim were the top five horror movies of 2009? Well, if you said that this film was one of them, then you’d be right! However, in case you didn’t know the answer off the top of your head, you might have gone back and read the actual post, only to get confused by the fact that I also included Where the Wild Things Are on that list as well. I guess that if you read that list, you could deduce that this movie is as scary as Where the Wild Things Are was, which I suppose is a weird comparison. Would you believe that I made that distinction after having only seen this film once? Isn’t that crazy?! How often do I only see a movie just one time, especially if I really enjoy it? Despite having only seen it once, that didn’t stop me from buying it on Blu-ray, and it made a great choice for a chilly October evening with some people who had never even head it before, and it reminded me that this is easily one of the best horror movies of not only 2009, but at least of the past five years.

 

JUST LOOK AT THE FUCKING TITLECARD AND TELL ME THIS MOVIE ISN’T ALREADY AWESOME.

 

In the early 80′s, we see a college sophomore, Samantha (Jocelin Donahue), on the search for her very first apartment. She doesn’t have nearly enough money to afford the “perfect place”, but her terrible roommate is driving her crazy, making Samantha desperate to get out of there. She sees an opportunity to be a babysitter and gets her friend Megan (Greta Gerwig) to drive her to a giant house in the middle of the woods. Upon meeting the person who placed the ad, Mr. Ulman (Tom Noonan), he admits to being dishonest in the ad. Rather than a babysitting job, this is a job to stay in the house just in case his mother needs assistance. With Samantha being so desperate, and Mr. Ulman needing so badly to go out for the evening to celebrate the lunar eclipse, she agrees to the job for $400. Megan leaves Samantha, but doesn’t go far, pulling over to listen to music in a nearby cemetery. It’s there that Megan has an encounter with a seemingly harmless stranger, played by AJ Bowen, but that encounter changes the entire tone of the movie. We realize that Samantha is in for one of the worst nights of her life, and we, as viewers want nothing more than for her to safely get out of the house.

 

I understood the high-waisted jeans, the flannel shirts, and the feathered hair, but what was that weird cord that came out of the phone and why did it have that little dial on it that she had to keep spinning? It must have been some sort of generator to give the phone power for when the batteries on their portable phones died.

 

I’m going to leave that synopsis far more vague and ambiguous than I normally do, because I encourage every fan or horror movies, fuck it, any fan of MOVIES to go watch this film. I didn’t know much about writer/director Ti West before seeing this film, but I can tell you that I will see every movie that this guy is involved in from here on out. Granted, he was somewhat responsible for Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever, which was a piece of shit, but word is that he tried to get his name removed from it anyway. Contextually, it was a great choice for him to set this movie in the early 80′s, because as he has mentioned in interviews, it was one of the last time periods that wasn’t tainted by the realm of technology. If you were a babysitter at a house in the woods, then you were a babysitter at a house in the woods.If someone said they’d be somewhere at a specific time, you just had to hope they would show up, seeing as there were no personal communication devices. It was also a time in American history where people were actually afraid of Satanic cults kidnapping you off the street and sacrificing you to some mythical demon, which is hilariously terrifying in retrospect of how stupid people were. No only did West strive to emulate the 80′s contextually, but also in the production of the film itself. For example, rather than shooting it digitally or on 35mm, it was shot on 16mm and blown up, as was the most cost-effective filming technique in the early 80′s. From the music to the outfits to the special effects and especially the opening credit sequence, this film pays homage to movies of the 80′s that really shaped a lot of contemporary filmmakers and how they view horror.

 

Look how creepy he is! Wait, did I say creepy? Look how nice he is! Wait, did I say nice? Look how creepy he is! Wait, did I say creepy? Look how nice he is! Wait…

 

Yeah okay, so Ti West had a clever script and stylish aesthetic sense, but what else did this film have? You might notice that I pointed out four actors by name, when I barely ever mention more than two. This film could have easily been mediocre if it wasn’t for the great casting and wonderful performances by everyone involved. First and foremost, this movie succeeds with thanks to Jocelin Donahue. I’d say about 75% of the movie is shots of her wandering around alone, not even engaging with anyone. She plays a smart character who you really feel sympathetic towards because she’s not in this situation because she’s stupid, but she’s there out of desperation. We can all sympathize with doing things we wish we didn’t have to, but understanding that the ends justify the means. If this movie were actually made in the 80′s, Samantha’s probably would have just been some buxom blonde that served as a sex object that read her lines, but we learn early on that Samantha is instead a vulnerable character who isn’t willing to let herself be a victim. She reacts to every situation she is put in with intuition and she always keeps her wits about her, no matter how intense the situation. I really hope to see Jocelin in more movies, horror or otherwise. Now let’s talk about Tom Noonan…..holy shit, talk about terrifying and kind at the same time. He was so incredibly unassuming and approached Samantha in such a genuine way, that even though we knew he was up to no good, the way his lines were delivered and even the way he carried himself portrayed a man who seemed to have nothing left in his life. And here I was just hating him for that one episode where he was taunting Fox Mulder after claiming to have been the one to kidnap Mulder’s sister. AJ Bowen is another actor that I am going to keep my eyes out for, especially after his role in this film, as well as in The Signal and in A Horrible Way to Die. Older generations already have their genre favorites like Lance Henriksen or Robert Englund, and I keep my fingers crossed that AJ Bowen gets to find his way into as many horror movies as possible to add his own special type of bearded intensity that movies needs these days. Greta Gerwig looked really familiar, and I didn’t know why, but she really played well into the role she had of a friend you weren’t necessarily going to be bragging about having, but you knew you could rely on. Apparently she was in Greenberg after this movie, so good for her!

 

You can look in my window ANY day, AJ Bowen. I said ANY. DAY.

 

I think that from here on out, this film is going to be my litmus test for whether or not I take someone’s opinion seriously about horror movies. If I talk to anyone who ever uses the word “boring” in the context of this film, then I’ll tell them that they can fuck right off. Okay, fine, I get it, the first 35 minutes of this movie there really isn’t anything going on…at all…seriously. It’s just Samantha going to this creepy house and hanging out. Might not necessarily be exciting, and it certainly is uneventful, but rather than the word “boring”, I think people need to use the word “deliberate”. West really makes you earn the fear and suspense that you enjoy after we first meet AJ Bowen’s character, and every moment after that your entire body is tense as you will have no idea what to expect. Some people might argue that the pacing or speed at which the film moves doesn’t justify the brevity of the climax and the way things are tied up, but you know what? Life’s not fair. You’re not always going to get a fifteen minute chase sequence at the end of the movie where the hero defeats the villain. And if we’re being completely honest here, I could have even had the climax have been shorter, because the less you knew about what was going on, the better. You were left with a blood lust towards some of this film’s characters that were never really fulfilled, so when the credits rolled, you were distraught over this film not giving you the retribution you deserved.

 

I’m sure other bloggers would see this image and think of an inappropriate comment to make, but I am way too mature and have far too much tact than to allude in even the slightest way to the fact that there’s blood on her face due to performing oral sex on a female who is shedding the lining of her uterus. Sorry guys, look for another blog if you’re looking for that weird, pervert stuff!

 

Since I clearly have been going on and on about this movie, and it’s quite apparent that I really like it, I’ll try to wrap things up. This movie wasn’t very heavy on special effects and didn’t have the most original or unique plot or characters, but it’s really a combination of every factor involved that this film really should be regarded as a contemporary classic. I think I might have mentioned once or twice that two of my favorite movies are Suspiria and Rosemary’s Baby. Both of these movies are relatively slow, and the latter has barely any gore or violence, but all three of these films are deeply unsettling to me. In a mere 95 minutes, Ti West scared you with what’s really most terrifying in the world. It’s not ghosts, vampires, werewolves, monsters, or mask-wearing machete-wielding zombies. I don’t know much about West’s views on philosophy, but I think he and I would agree on one of Jean-Paul Sartre’s most famous lines: “L’enfer, c’est les autres”. Or, in other words, “hell is other people”.

 

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Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (2010)

August 9, 2011 7 Comments

 

Firstly, I wanted to make sure that I thanked the kind folks over at the Queer Film Society for getting me tickets to see this movie at Terror in the Aisles 8. Not only were the kind enough to get me into the movie for free, but I got a total of FOUR passes to see this, and they were awesome for making those available. I also want to thank the Portage Theater for holding this event time and time again, because I love supporting horror films and this is one of the best theaters in the city. Even if I can only stay for one of the three films that are typically shown during these mini-marathons, the more I go, the more I want to come back and see everything. I really knew very little about Tucker & Dale vs. Evil before going to see it, other than I kept seeing it being compared to Shaun of the Dead for the next big horror/comedy. I made it a point to not look too much into it, didn’t even watch the trailer, so I could go in with a fresh outlook and hopefully see something more entertaining than the Scary Movie franchise. Lucky for me, I was overwhelmingly surprised by how much fun this movie is, and can’t recommend it to enough people.

 

I mean, this does kind of give the wrong impression about these two being psychopaths, doesn’t it?

 

The first few minutes of the movie look like any other movie where bad things happen to douchebag college-aged kids in the woods. Whether they would fight hillbillies, bears, or flesh-eating diseases, all the characters make you want to slap the shit out of them. When they arrive at a gas station, they get a creepy vibe from Tucker, played by Alan Tudyk, and Dale, played by Tyler Labine. From the group, it seems as though Dale has the hots for Allison, played by Katrina Bowden, and attempts to flirt with her, causing all of the college kids to flee in terror. It’s about this time that we realize that Tucker and Dale are being misjudged, as they are really only heading into the woods to fix up the new cabin that Tucker has purchased. While Tucker and Dale do some night fishing, that happen to see the college kids doing some skinny-dipping, and when they see Allison slip on rocks and smash her head, Dale dives in after her. A gruesome, bloody, and hilarious chain of events is kickstarted by these friends witnessing Allison “being captured”. Rather than give away too much about the movie, I’ll just say that what follows is a 90 minute film filled with cliché horror movie moments that could be easily explained had someone just come out and said “It’s not what it looks like!”

 

Ya know, I didn’t want to get into the suspension of disbelief, but you REALLY expect me to believe that Katrina Bowden could make a HUGE pair of clothes look THIS good?! GIVE ME A LITTLE CREDIT!

 

When I say something like “I was laughing my balls off”, I really mean it. Well of course I don’t mean it literally, but it’s entirely possible it could have happened and I wouldn’t have noticed. You might notice my description seems a little vague, but I really don’t want to give away any of the good stuff. I was able to enter this movie with a blank slate, and hopefully you can too. If my description isn’t a good enough sell, I’ll at least point out some of the smaller, yet still quite creative moments, that I feel really highlight how smart and witty this movie is. When Dale goes to talk to Allison in the gas station, Tucker gives the advice of “being yourself”, as well as “make sure you smile and laugh”. When the awkward Dale approaches Allison and out of nowhere makes a comment about her cooler, followed by forced smiling and laughter, it looks like a scene from every other horror movie where kids feel threatened by one of the “locals”. Dale is just awkward in front of girls! And when Tucker and Dale rescue Allison and all the kids run away in fear, Tucker makes sure to shout “Hey college kids, we got your friend!” This movie was just so cleverly written, by Eli Craig and Morgan Jurgenson, that it’s almost like they took specific lines of dialogue from other films, used those lines, but then filled in the gaps with a “What if…?” scenario of everything else these characters are up to. And if you think those two bits are funny, which you should, it’s only the tip of the iceberg with all the other jokes, and how the laughs are heightened when the physical comedy gets involved.

 

HOLY SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT THIS AWESOME DOG THAT WAS IN IT. IT WAS SO AWESOME.

 

It can be a lot of pressure having your character’s name be in the title of a movie, but both Alan Tudyk and Tyler Labine completely handle all of that weight. You might not recognize Tudyk by name, but will definitely recognize him as that supporting character who is used for comedic relief, or if you’re a nerd, you might remember him as Wash from the Firefly/Serenity projects. It was great to see him step up and take on a lead character and spend a lot more time seeing just how funny he can be, and especially partnered up with Labine, who I would say plays more of the “straight man” role. I haven’t seen Labine in anything else, and he definitely fits the look of a hillbilly, but is also able to show you that not every bearded guy in overalls is a psychopath. I’ve only seen Katrina Bowden in 30 Rock where she is playing the token “ditzy hot girl”, which she’s great at doing, but seeing her play the role relatively straight, while being able to mix being a very sweet character who was also capable of physical comedy, was a welcome departure from your typical lead female in a horror movie. Also, the entire supporting cast of asshole college kids were portrayed 100% accurate and you really just can’t wait to see them die, and when they do die, it’s in the stupidest of ways and you cheer over the fact that they deserve to die for their stupidity. Funny how I thought that Eli Roth really nailed that stereotype in both Cabin Fever and Hostel, and now we have another Eli who was able to get the same performances from his actors.

 

Completely gratuitous picture of Katrina Bowden in her underwear, in hopes of perverts giving my site traffic. As if the people coming to my site weren’t perverts anyway…

 

I know that I brought up the comparisons this movie has been getting to Shaun of the Dead, but I don’t really feel that’s accurate. I think the creative team behind SotD were fans of the genre and wanted to make a zombie movie with lots of comedic elements, whereas I feel the creative team behind Tucker & Dale set out to make a comedy with lots of elements of horror. I can’t really say I ever felt scared, and for the most part, I feel as though the elements of “horror” towards the end really only existed to give the movie a sense of purpose and motivation for the events that happened, but that’s totally okay. Rather than comparing this movie to SotD, I would be willing to say it is more reminiscent of a movie like Young Frankenstein, by taking a traditional horror setting and cast of characters and completely reinterpreting the course of events. And even though it’s a movie that’s more recent, this film also reminded me of a movie like Fanboys, which was paying tribute to Star Wars, because with both films it was funny to watch if you were oblivious to the references, but knowing the references made it even more funny. I really can’t recommend this movie enough, and I really hope that everyone involved with this movie gets the credit they deserve for making a movie that is smart, creative, and is thoroughly entertaining from start to finish for fans of both horror and comedy.

 

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Sleepaway Camp (1983)

July 12, 2011 4 Comments

 

I AM GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE ENDING OF THIS MOVIE IN MY REVIEW. If you’ve seen it, great. If you haven’t seen it, then stop whatever you’re doing, even if it means getting off the internet, and go see it. Well, I suppose all you would have to do is not read this review and you can get back to what you’re doing, but I know that none of you want to miss out on this review. It’s not that the ONLY good thing about this movie is the ending, it’s just that the ending is what really sets this film apart from your typical summer camp slasher. Do yourself a favor and watch it and then come back to the review so you don’t spoil anything. That being said, I’m going to assume you’ve seen the movie so I don’t have to worry too much about spoiling anything, or maybe you just don’t give a shit about EVER seeing this movie and have no problem having things ruined.

 

The effects were pretty decent, with the highlight being the bubbling skin, made all the more uncomfortable by this guy screaming for about 20 minutes.

 

At some sort of lake or something, we see a little boy and little girl playing with their father in the water, during a freak accident involving a water skier, the father and one of the children dies. Years later, we see the surviving child, Angela, played by Felissa Rose, getting ready to go to summer camp with her cousin Ricky, played by Jonathan Tiersten. We are to assume Angela lives with Ricky, having a dead father and all, and her aunt/guardian is just kind of a weirdo freak. Angela and Ricky make their way to camp, and after feeling homesick and not wanting to eat, a counselor takes Angela into the kitchen. While there, one of the cooks tries to rape her or something, but is interrupted by Ricky. Later, this cook has the largest fucking pot of boiling water dumped on him by some unknown assailant, and he yells a lot. Most of the male and female campers harass Angela for not talking, including the interrogation of “Hey Angela, why are you so fucked up?” in a very matter-of-fact tone. What happens to him? Well, he gets drowned in a lake and a snake slithers out of his nose. Angela starts finding comfort in one of Ricky’s friends, however, she remains resistant to any sort of sexual advances. When he attempts to kiss her and take her shirt off, she has flashbacks to being a child and watching her father in bed with another man, as well as taking part in naked kid games with her brother. Awkward!

 

Hey Angela, how do you think you will score any dudes when you have to compete with a body like Judy’s? Oh man, and don’t forget to check out the horse-hair on Judy…..DAMN.

 

As far as the rest of the film goes, it gets pretty formulaic as far as who gets killed and why. Every character who is killed is directly related to insults or harassment towards either Ricky or Angela. Okay, we get it, it’s one of them, but which one is it? One death involves someone getting locked in a bathroom stall and gets stung by bees…to death, a woman gets stabbed in the back in the shower, and I think one lady gets a hot curling iron crammed up her puss, which i guess causes women to die. The owner of the camp is getting more and more angry at all the deaths, and assumes it’s Ricky, so he attacks him to the point of being unconscious. Angela seems to become a lot more open about her sexuality and disrobes by the lake with the boy she’s been having relations with. When counselors find her, we see a flashback of when Angela was first brought home from the boat injury. While the child interacts with her crazy new aunt/guardian, we realize that, wait for it…THE LITTLE BOY SURVIVED THE BOAT ATTACK AND IS FORCED TO LIVE HIS LIFE AS A GIRL NAMED ANGELA. That’s why sex stuff was always so awkward, or at least, more awkward than it is with most people. Angela then stands up, holding the boy’s severed head, and we see her naked body, swinging dick and all. Well, it’s not really swinging, but you get the point. Angela stands there naked, making weird vampire sounds, the frame freezes, and the credits roll. As if you couldn’t have predicted that ending from the beginning!

 

Swap out the weird USC shirt for something like Asia, Blue Öyster Cult, or just a goddamned half of a shirt, and that’s most of the characters wardrobe.

 

I never quite made the connection, but while watching this with JD, he mentioned that this was just another installment in a slew of movies that followed the footsteps of Friday the 13th. It takes place at a summer camp, there are deaths related to things that happen at summer camp, and there is a big twist ending. Despite seeing this movie after seeing Friday the 13th, I never made that connection and always thought this movie stood on its own. And ya know what? I’m willing to go out on a limb and say that this is better than Friday the 13th. The gore of this movie and the death scenes aren’t necessarily all that impressive, I just felt that the creativity and twists and turns were a lot more creative than Friday the 13th. After knowing the ending, you can watch the film again and see subtle cues that hint at what the ending is, and it seems almost silly to think that you could have watched this and not realize that Angela was a boy. Without trying to make it sound like this movie was trying to break barriers, but the way it dealt with homosexuality was interesting for a movie made so long ago. When you first watch it, it seems arbitrary and strange to have Angela flashback to watching her father in his homosexual shenanigans, and it might be implied that witnessing these things “messed with” her head or something. However, in retrospect, she was having flashbacks because when she was kissing a boy, Angela was technically engaging in homosexual shenanigans. If anyone is willing to argue if or why Friday the 13th is better, feel free to leave some comments about it, as long as you know that if you do, you are bashing homosexuals. Sorry!

 

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Monsters (2010)

March 9, 2011 2 Comments

I remember hearing about this movie last year, but only vague descriptions of it. I remember when I tried to get Rampaige to watch it, I told her it was something kind of like District 9, but with monsters instead of aliens. I was kind of right, but, not really. What I forgot to think about is that the terms “monster” and “alien” aren’t mutually exclusive, and some people might consider aliens to be monsters. Apparently the makes of this movie did, because there sure were some mother fucking monster-y aliens in it! Oh, and there’s going to be spoilers that I’m going to include at the end, so if the movie sounds interesting, skip the spoilers.



I mean, come on, are you really missing out on that much?

 

Apparently monster-y aliens have landed on Earth, in Mexico to be exact, and the film opens with a military squad attacking these aliens, and then there’s a huge explosion that supposedly kills everything and everyone where this was taking place. We then see a young man and woman, and learn that they are on the wrong side of the “Isolated Zone” and are trying to get through it to get back to America. The woman is apparently the daughter of the owner of a company that this young man works for, so it’s his duty to make sure she finds safe passage across. The rest of this 94 minute film shows their trials and tribulations, and there really isn’t all that much action or suspense. Or, rather, not as much as I was suspecting. They finally cross the border into America, which appears to be in a really desolate region, possibly because the aliens have made their way to this location. The couple get to a gas station and contact the authorities, and while awaiting pickup, they see two aliens descend upon the gas station. Rather than attacking the humans, the two aliens interact with one another in a big tentacular spectacle, and then continue on their way. We then see the military approaching in a caravan, and the film ends.


SPOILER

When we see the military in the first five minutes, one soldier is singing a specific theme song. We here that song being sung as we see the caravan approaching. I watched the first five minutes again to see that the characters we were just watching end up being attacked once again by the aliens, and they are the ones who were blown up and exploded.

END SPOILERS

 



Who are the real monsters…the aliens, or the people trying to kill them? Hahaha just kidding, luckily they skimped on that cheesy metaphor for the most part.

 

If you skipped over the spoilers, than this movie isn’t too bad. It’s labeled as “sci-fi” and “horror”, but is definitely more of a love story. Sure, this love story is taking place in this world where there are monsters that are killing people, and the military is destroying populations where they think the monsters are, but it’s still a love story. There’s nothing especially exciting about this love story either. You don’t necessarily dislike or like either of the characters to an extreme, you just get to explore their relationship in this world of fear, knowing they could die at any moment. Although there were certainly moments where clearly the director was trying to make political/social statements about “fear of the unknown” and the general fear and hatred of different cultures/lifeforms, it wasn’t too over-the-top. It also wasn’t trying to be too subtle about it, and they really just made a few specific statements about where the agenda and priorities of the United States government were. I’m going to end the review of the non-spoiler related plot there, because that stuff wasn’t all that incredible. Maybe a Half Moon. However, I recommend seeing this movie because of the subject matter contained in the spoilers, but don’t want to ruin it for anyone going to see it.


SPOILER REVIEW

As we see the military approaching, we hear one soldier singing a very specific song that one of the soldiers was singing in the opening five minutes. As it turns out, the opening scene, showing the monster assault and a guided missile killing everything, was what the fate of the main characters was. THEY FUCKING DIED! I wasn’t quite sure I got it, but when I watched the opening again, you can see the two main characters bloody and screaming as clear as day. Maybe other people knew that the whole time, but it only dawned on me at the very end. With that in mind, knowing all that bullshit romance ended in death and sadness, it made the film that much more enjoyable. I’m not saying this movie is perfect, and maybe after a repeat viewing I will lower its rating, but I was thoroughly entertained for 94 minutes, and anything that ends in complete loss of hope, as well as death, is fine by me!


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My Favorite Directors

March 8, 2011 19 Comments

I feel like I haven’t done anything where I just got to tamble about things I liked, so here we go. I’m also nervous that this list will be obvious, and I’ll look like some smarmy fucking cocksucker, but I really don’t care. I just feel that it’s easier, when people ask me, to tell them some of my favorite filmmakers, rather than pointing out specific films. Rather than one list that compiles all genres together, I decided to go with three from the horror genre, and three non-horror.

Horror Directors:

John Carpenter

Reasons Why: Halloween, The Fog, The Thing, Big Trouble in Little China, Prince of Darkness, They Live

You can see the diversity in the subject matter of his films, but they all have that Carpenter feel. Whether it be a slashing stalker, zombie ghosts, aliens, or action, Carpenter is always able to pace his movies in a way most other people couldn’t get away with. It seems as though he is always telling people to “slow down”, which really allows the audience to soak in every atmospheric moment of his films. I don’t feel as any of his work would be as accomplished without the soundtrack, which he sometimes provides, that is as integral to his filmmaking as every scene he films.

George Romero

Reasons Why: Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Creepshow, Day of the Dead, Tales From the Darkside (TV Series)

My opinion isn’t always the popular one, that his best film is Creepshow, rather than his involvement with his zombie franchise. Night of the Living Dead was a film that inspired generation upon generation of filmmakers, and even if you don’t like it personally, it needs to be respected for what it did for the Horror genre. Dawn of the Dead is my favorite, showing that Horror doesn’t always have to be a short term fear of a creature attacking you, but can be drawn from the overwhelming sense of dread of knowing that this creature will never be defeated…ever. He certainly isn’t perfect, looking at his track record, but my love for what he was able to accomplish with Creepshow and the Tales From the Darkside series, I have to give him a pass on things I didn’t enjoy.

Dario Argento

Reasons Why: Suspiria, Opera

I might look like a “new jack” for only listing two films, but those two films are fucking awesome. Granted, I haven’t watched EVERY film in his catalogue, but he was able to accomplish with these two films what some directors wish to accomplish in an entire career. I’ve mentioned in a different post how the first five minutes of Suspiria is more unsettling and strange than most other films. It’s the surreality in his films that secures him a spot on this list. Another example being the fact that in Suspiria, originally being written about much younger girls, he made all of the doorknobs unrealistically high, causing all of the adult females to have to reach up higher. This is something that generally goes unnoticed, or is excused by saying “Whatever, it’s Italy”, but it’s those details for the absurd and strange that makes his films so enjoyable.

Non-Horror Directors

David Fincher

Reasons Why: Se7en, The Game, Fight Club, Panic Room, Zodiac, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Social Network

If I had to narrow it down to one director, it would be this guy. He seems like such a humble, mild-mannered individual who really doesn’t understand the standards of filmmaking. It’s either that, or he knows what standard filmmaking is extremely well, and knows how to do everything the opposite of that. Se7en really seemed to reinvent the horror/thriller genre, and showed a different side of New York City that you hoped and prayed didn’t exist. Fight Club took a novel about schizophrenia, philosophy, nihilism, and violence, and was able to convey those ideas to a wide audience. After those two movies I knew I would see every movie Fincher would ever do, even if it meant watching a movie about Facebook. I think what sells it for me is his attention to detail. No one detail is more important than any other, whether it be wardrobe, set pieces, or an actor’s portrayal of a character. Every single element gets as much devotion paid to it as any other, even if this means shooting the same scene over 100 times….literally. Also, every single one of his shots in every single movie has the coolest lighting. I just like looking at them.

Danny Boyle

Reasons Why: Shallow Grave, Trainspotting, A Life Less Ordinary, The Beach, 28 Days Later, Sunshine

Just looking at his films, you get an idea of his diversity. He can entertain you with a murder mystery, make you disgusted with humanity, have a romantic comedy with musical numbers, break a stereotypical teen heartthrob into a selfish yuppie seeking adventure, terrify you with zombies, and use science fiction to make people realize “we’re all stardust”. Not only does he make movies from all different genres, but no two films are alike. Sure, you could definitely use the word “gritty” when it comes to his style, but comparing A Life Less Ordinary to Trainspotting, the two are drastically different. He can even take that gritty style into outer space to give people what I think is one of the best science fiction films of the past ten years.

Paul Thomas Anderson

Reasons Why: Boogie Nights, Magnolia, Punch-Drunk Love, There Will Be Blood

Similar to David Fincher, P.T.A. never does anything arbitrarily. He seems to completely immerse himself in every single project he gets involved in, but possibly the biggest credit is due to his casting. It seems as though he is able to take a perfect combination of script, set, and actors, and these elements combine to pull off some wonderful films. And from listening to the commentary tracks on his movies, he also always makes it seem so effortless, and he seems quite humble. Specifically the documentary for Magnolia, you can see the trials and tribulations of the film, and it appears that it could fail, and you really get a sense of having to prove he can make more than one great movie, no matter how hard it may be to top Boogie Nights. When you see him collecting awards for Magnolia, you take that much more away from it seeing that even he didn’t know he could succeed so well again.

Looking at this list, it looks trendy as fuck. Maybe that’s just me, and I’m sensitive to publicly admit some of my favorite things. Hopefully you take the time to read how I feel about each filmmaker, and hopefully my reasons for why they’re on my list is different than what you had expected. Sadly, I just didn’t have room for Michael Bay.

Wait….while trying to find an image for David Fincher, I accidentally stumbled across a picture of Spike Jonze. In retrospect, I wish I had somehow found a way to include him, because although his feature film list is short, it’s awesome, as are all of his music videos.

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Maniac (1980)

February 4, 2011 2 Comments

 

There are some movies that the first time you see them, you realize immediately how incredible they are. This film wasn’t one of those. The first time I saw it was in high school, and a friend saw the cover of the movie and decided we had to watch it. It was with a group of friends, and we were kind of just talking, up until the infamous shotgun scene. At that point, we all said “WHOA! THAT WAS CRAZY!”, but then quickly got distracted since that’s such a hard scene to top. I think at the end we started paying attention again, but nothing quite stuck with you quite like that scene. It wasn’t until the subsequent viewings that I understood the genius of this film. Luckily, my most recent viewing was a 35mm print with William Lustig, the director, in attendance and doing a brief Q & A.

 

As if being killed isn’t enough, imagine having THIS be the last thing you see.

 

The film opens with a scene that is an homage to Jaws, with a sleeping couple on a beach. We see things from the shark’s perspective, or rather, the “Maniac’s” perspective. The couple obviously gets murdered. We then meet Frank Zito, played by Joe Spinell, lives in a shitty basement apartment in New York City. He picks up a hooker, takes her to a hotel room, starts engaging in things you do with a hooker, and he chokes her to death, and scalps her. When we see her back at his apartment, we see him nailing the scalp to a mannequin head that he then dresses in the hookers clothes. Frank then meets Anna, played by Caroline Munro, who is a hot-shot photographer, and they strike up a somewhat romantic relationship.

 

Don’t forget to write “MANIAC WUZ HERE” on the wall before you leave.

 

The rest of the film is a frantic, insane journey of man who clearly has issues. He reveals that his mother died when he was very young, which is assumed to be why he is so insane. Maybe the fact that sometimes the women he kills take her image, but that’s just my assumption. We see Frank go from being a “charming stud” with Anna, to stalking women through subways and breaking into their apartments to kill them. Not to mention we also see a scene where he jumps on the hood of a car of a couple making out, the guy being played by Tom Savini, and then shoots them point-blank in a huge explosion of blood and gore. Frank eventually combines his two worlds, and when taking Anna to visit his mother’s grave, starts chasing her, but she manages to escape, and he goes back to his apartment. While wallowing in his depression, he visualizes all the mannequins of the women he’s killed coming back to life to stab him and rip his head off. The cops show up the next day, break down the door, and see Frank dead, stabbed through the chest.

 

Rampaige just wishes she could look as glamorous while she does hair.

 

When Lustig was taking questions, I brought up the fact that this film was a perfect storm of multiple things that make this film as incredible as it is. First of all, Joe Spinell is amazing in it. He clearly isn’t the most attractive guy on the planet, which is what makes him so perfect. I know I’m not alone in having experienced walking down a city street late at night and seeing a guy walking alone who just has a creepy look about him. You eel bad for assuming something bad will happen, but we have films like Maniac to blame for that. We see Frank walking the streets, and had we passed him, we would go unharmed, but who knows if 20 minutes later, he was going to be murdering a hooker, think nothing of it, and get away with it. It’s hard to picture this movie being made with anyone else other than Joe Spinell.

 

Hey Frank, just because the mannequins are coming to life, there’s no reason to lose your head! Hey-o!

 

Another contributing factor is the city of New York itself. Granted, I wasn’t even alive when this movie was made, and didn’t visit until it was relatively “cleaned up”, but it really shows how dangerous living in a city that size, in that time, could have been. I mentioned something similar in my review for Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (review here), in that the city of Chicago plays a large part in the terror in the film. Same thing with New York, one of the biggest cities in the world, where someone could easily get away with murder. You could get chased in a subway and not be able to find an exit, get murdered, and no one come to your rescue. Or maybe your making out in a secluded spot and get your head blown the fuck off.

 

Can you blame him for going crazy? Look how sexy these gals are!

 

Lustig mentioned that this film is currently being optioned with the involvement of Alexandre Aja, who I think is awesome, but I’m not sure anything could recreate the filth and grime of this movie. A movie like Texas Chain Saw Massacre takes stereotypical fears of people living isolated lives in the south, and this film does for big cities that TCSM did for the isolated countryside. The guerrilla style filmmaking, Joe Spinell, the city of New York, the synth music, to even the clothing and hairstyles make this a representation of everything you should fear living in a big city and is a film that is criminally underappreciated.

 

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The Wicker Man (1973)

January 9, 2011 6 Comments



I think I had seen this movie once and a half. My first glimpses of it were when my older brother rented it and let me watch it, and it was fucking weird. There was lots of dancing naked, weird turtlenecks, and people wearing weird animal masks. I must have either spaced out through most of it, or maybe left the room, because I only remember those things, and of course, the ending. Which reminds me, I will be talking about the ending of this movie in my plot synopsis, and it’s a good twist, so feel free to not read that part. So that was my half-viewing, and then when I got Netflix originally I got it and watched it in it’s entirety, and it was still really weird. Despite not having seen it all that often, it left a pretty big impact, and considering I referenced it when I reviewed The Last Exorcism (review here) I figured I should give it another go. Oh, and I wanted Rampaige to watch it, so I wanted to try to force her to see it.



Shit like this haunts my dreams

 

On a secluded island off the coast of Scotland, Sergeant Howie, played by Edward Woodward, arrives to investigate the mysterious disappearance of a small girl named Rowan. The residents of this island all seem a bit odd, and something doesn’t really sit right with Sergeant Howie. While attempting to find out where Rowan has disappeared to, he sees lots of nakedness and people doing things that go against his strict Christian ethics. Everyone on the island appears to belong to a Celtic neo-paganist cult with concepts of sexuality and reincarnation being very prominent. Sergeant Howie is not a fan of this, and starts thinking that Rowan was possibly murdered. With permission of the island’s magistrate, Lord Summerisle, played by Christopher Lee, Howie digs up a casket supposedly belonging to Rowan, only to find a hare inside. Through his investigating, Howie determines that there is a connection between Rowan, the failure of crops the year prior, Rowan’s involvement in that year’s harvest festivities, and the pagan believes of this “cult” places Rowan in danger. While following a trail of clues, Howie discovers Rowan tied up, and thinking she will be sacrificed, helps her escape, only to stumble into Lord Summerisle. When Rowan hugs Lord Summerisle, he realizes that the little girl is not the one in danger, but in fact, Sergeant Howie will be the sacrifice. he is brought to a giant man made out of wicker, hence the title, that he is placed in and burned alive.



Not Work Safe! Wait, I’m posting this while at work. What does that say about me? IT’S JUST SOME BUTTS, PEOPLE!

 

For the record, I kept spelling Rowan incorrectly during that synopsis, and got pissed off every time. Anyways, poor Sergeant Howie, huh? I am glad I watched this movie because I couldn’t remember why I enjoyed it, only to have all my suspicions of enjoyment reaffirmed. This movie starts off as a typical thriller from the 70′s that is more about tone and mood than about scary characters or situations. Yes, it’s weird to see the people being naked all the time, and also weird to have so many scenes where the characters break into song, but these things shouldn’t be dismissed as arbitrary. I felt that the goal was to make a film that was different from most thrillers so that you could relate to Sergeant Howie in how bizarre everything was. For example, when Howie first gets to the island and is introduced to the daughter of the innkeeper where he’ll be staying, all the characters start singing a song about her being a whore and wanting to fuck her. Even the daughter looks on with a smile while Howie just stands there with a look on his face of “UMMM…WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?”. You can relate to how weird things are on the island, and therefore, how weird the events of the movie are.



“AND I SWEAR, HIS COCK MUST HAVE BEEN THIS BIG!”

 

After establishing that the island is weird, where do we go from here? Sure, it’s easy to just say “everyone here is a weirdo”, but you then need some sort of plot to tell a story. About 45 minutes in, after realizing the freaky creeps, they move forward with a pretty good detective story. You can see Howie putting everything together, and the viewer themselves question what has happened to this poor little girl. Who sent the letter? Why was her grave empty? Why did the crops fail? It’s then at the end of the movie, after convincing you it was a “normal” detective story, that they turn all of that on it’s head and you end up with a human sacrifice. This movie was even better than I remember. A great film that can combine a strange plot with surreal images and concepts and throw in a little bit of the occult and human sacrifice. Oh, and Christopher Lee wears this crazy ass wig at one point.


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Halloween (1978)

November 16, 2010 3 Comments

 

Are you guys sick of me talking about John Carpenter yet? Too bad, losers! Yes, here we go, another John Carpenter film. Not just any Carpenter film, but probably his most well-known. I think I’ve mentioned before that when I was a kid, there wasn’t really one defining moment of watching a scary movie that traumatized me. I kind of wish there was, but I know a lot of people reference this film as one that always scared people when they were kids. It also makes up another triumvirate of films that had a long-lasting impact on horror film, joined by Friday the 13th and A Nightmare on Elm Street. It was that time of the year to watch this film, which was two weeks ago, but I am lazy so it took me awhile.

 

What kind of hair is this?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!

 

As a child, Michael Myers kills his sister while dressed as a clown on Halloween. As an adult, he escapes from the insane asylum and goes on a road trip to get back to his hometown of Haddonfield, IL, and the only one who knows enough about him is Dr. Samuel Loomis, played by Donald Pleasence. Once Michael gets back into town, it seems as though he has focused his creepy stalking on Jamie Lee Curtis for some reason, probably because of her old lady hair. There is some running, chasing, hiding, killing, and stalking throughout the film, which eventually ends with Dr. Loomis shooting him seven times with a six-shooter (I know, right?) and Michael falling out of the window. When the cops arrive, the body is no longer laying where it landed, and nobody knows what happened to Michael.

 

Michael! What are you doing! You know that you’re Halloween costume isn’t in this closet! Just your bathrobe!

 

Not really that complicated of a film, but why does it scare people so much? First off, let’s talk about the fact that it’s Halloween. The one night of the year where people are allowed to wear disguises to hide who they really are. I’m sure everyone has had an experience on Halloween where you see someone wearing a mask and wonder if they are some weirdo or not, so this film proposes the idea of whether or not they really is a psycho underneath a mask. That would be Michael! Another reason why it seems to strike a chord with people is how many scenes there are where Jamie Lee Curtis thinks she sees someone, or gets a feeling that someone is watching her, but when she looks back, no one is there. The movie goes by rather slowly, and the deaths aren’t that brutal, I think it’s just the tension throughout the film that makes it successful, which is really why it stands out in the genre, especially against Friday the 13th and A Nightmare on Elm Street.

 

You found it! Good job Michael!

 

I used to really like Friday the 13th, for no real reason other than how awesome Jason looks. The more I look back on it, the more I realize how dumb it is. A completely mindless killer, with no real reasons as to why he came back, other than to avenge the fact that he died due to neglect from camp counselors. Freddy Krueger gains his power from the psychological fears he inflicts on a small town, and that fear manifests itself with him coming to life. So with those two films you have someone who presents a purely physical threat, and if you can run away from Jason or don’t do drugs and have sex, you don’t have to worry about him, and they you have the psychological fear with Freddy, that the more you fear him the stronger he becomes. Halloween is so effective, at least this film, before they tried to explain Michael Myers, was that there wasn’t much rhyme or reason as to what he was doing, or why, or what could stop him. When he is wearing a mask, he is also typically referred to as “The Shape, rather than Michael, which really defines the fear. It doesn’t matter who he is, or why he is, but being stalked by a “Shape” who can’t be stopped is what terrifies people. And John Carpenter, once again, uses music and a slow pace to really create a tense mood throughout the film that other directors have a hard time competing with.

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The Thing (1982)

November 16, 2010 7 Comments

 

It’s hard to talk about and analyze one of your favorite movies. I think one of the saddest parts about this being one of my favorite movies is the fact that I really have no idea when I saw it for the first time and how it became my favorite. I do know that the first time I wanted to see was in college and seeing something about A.F.I.’s best horror movies or something like that, and that they spent a whole bunch of time talking about the special effects. I kept thinking in the back of my mind, “Of course I have seen The Thing. I mean, hasn’t everyone?”. The more I watched this documentary, the more I realized I had never seen any of it, and must have at some point sat down and watched it. I can tell you it certainly wasn’t one of those epiphany moments where I immediately realized how much I loved it, but it’s with each subsequent viewing that it gets better and better and better.

 

WHAT A FUCKING STUDLY MAN

 

Kurt Russell and a bunch of other dudes are chillin’, literally and figuratively, down in Antarctica when they are interrupted by some people trying to shoot a dog from a helicopter. They are all like “WTF?”, and the chopper blows up and the dog seeks rescue from Team Kurt Russell. Using evidence from the helicopter, Kurt, who plays Jack MacReady, goes to investigate who was on the helicopter, why they were there, and why they were trying to kill a dog. It turns out that they came from a group of Norwegian scientists who had discovered a U.F.O. below the ice and attempted to excavate it. They unleashed something alien that can perfectly replicate other living things, and it turns out the dog is an alien, so the rest of the movie is spent trying to figure out who is/isn’t an alien and taking the appropriate actions. I’m gonna leave it at that, because either you have seen this movie and know what happens, or you haven’t seen it (idiot), and are now encouraged to.

 

You might wanna get that armed checked out, bro

 

It’s hard to begin talking about what makes this movie so awesome. First off, it takes place in Antarctica, which seems to be a land that time forgot. Due to the lack of people and limited technology, this film has more of a timeless quality. People don’t look at their cell phones and see that they don’t have service, but because of the desolation, even if everyone did have a cell phone, who would they contact? This is definitely in my top three favorite Kurt Russell character, along with Jack Burton from Big Trouble in Little China and Stuntman mike from Death Proof. What’s so enjoyable is that it’s actually a lot darker than his other characters. Even though he takes leadership in some moments, he also threatens to blow everyone up if they cross him, shortly after he leaves a tape recording admitting that none of them will make it out alive. Very subtle performance, and very awesome.

 

I mean, I could have NOT shown the dog, but look at how awesome he is? I mean seriously! This dog rules!

 

I mentioned the effects earlier, but they need to be mentioned again. This film was made right on the cusp of when computers and animation were starting to take over all special effects, but John Carpenter made the choice to only use practical effects. This might not seem like a big deal anymore, but it makes everything that much more enjoyable. Sure, that leads to maybe a few cheesy scares that are more humorous than scary, but trying to figure out how they made the effects is what’s so entertaining about it. The music is awesome too. Definitely an 80′s horror movie with the synthesizers, but a slightly more somber and depressing score. One of the guys turns into an alien and is being set on fire, turns to face Kurt Russell, and lets out one of the most unexpected and terrifying screams in all of horror film history. It still creeps me the fuck out when I hear it. This film really is the perfect combination of actors, director, location, effects, storyline, and score, to produce one of the best films of the 80′s, one of the few remakes that surpass the original, and one of the best horror films of all time. Oh, and Kurt Russell has one of the best lines in history, right before he throws dynamite at an alien, he just yells “YEAH?! FUCK YOU TOO!”. GENIUS!

 

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Army of Darkness (1992)

November 13, 2010 6 Comments



This is definitely my least viewed film of the Evil Dead series, and I’m not really sure why. I remember the first time I watched Evil Dead, knowing a little bit about it, I was confused as to why he kept both arms intact and had no chainsaw on his arm. I had to go and watch Evil Dead 2, and even then, he only got the chainsaw on the arm towards the end of the film. But then I saw Army of Darkness, and everything made a lot more sense. Every time that I think about watching this movie, I always assume it moves a lot more slowly than it actually does, so I’m generally not in a rush to throw it in. I blame my senior year high school English teacher, who for Halloween, let us watch Army of Darkness. The problem is that one English class was only 45 minutes, so we only got up to the part where Ash throws dirt on Evil Ash’s face, so I always think that part is only 20-30 minutes in, and there is a shit ton of boring stuff after that. Lucky for me, I am always wrong…DEAD WRONG!


Rather than a (barely) witty caption, I just want to quote the movie. So, uh, “USE THE FORCE LUKE!”

 

Ash, played by Bruce Campbell, visited a cabin and accidentally set loose an evil force that killed all of the friends he went with. Evil infected his hand, but he chopped it off, and he gets sucked into a time warp to the renaissance and everyone is confused. He explains that he has travelled from the future and everybody is cool with it because they think he is a prophet. He goes to get a mystical book, the Necronomicon, that will send him back, but after mistakenly uttering the wrong magic words, he awakens more evil. In addition to more evil, he actually turns into two people, a Good Ash and an Evil Ash, the evil one leading the army of the dead. The evil army storms the castle, there’s lots of wackiness, but eventually Ash utters the words that take him back to his time. Then it turns out he said them wrong again! Damn! And he kills a Deadite in S-Mart. Victory for Bruce Campbell!


I mean, if he was evil, they should have made his chin smaller, to denote that that’s where Bruce Campbell’s power came from. But what would I know, it’s not like I was responsible for Spider-man 3.

 

I suppose I could have been a little more elaborate with the plot, but if you haven’t seen this movie, do it now. I think it’s a tie between this film and Evil Dead 2 for which film in the trilogy I enjoy most. The first one seemed like it wanted to be a horror movie, but based on the lower budget, ended up slightly sillier than intended. Don’t get me wrong, of course it was intended to be silly, but maybe not as silly as it actually was. The second film seemed to hit it’s stride a little better, being able to take advantage of the humor while also trying to still be kind of scary. Army of Darkness seemed to completely abandon the scary aspect and focus solely on the absurdity of it all. The Raimis must have come up with lots of cliché and cheesy one-liners for Bruce Campbell to say, then wrote a plot around it, which is awesome. Bruce Campbell in this film is P-E-R-F-E-C-T. Between his dialogue and just the physicality of his humor, he is really at the top of his game in this one. I’m still on the fence about whether this is better than Evil Dead 2, but they are both just fucking awesome.

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