Melancholia (2011)

January 3, 2012 4 Comments

 

What better way to ring in the year that our world is supposed to end than to review a movie where the world really does end! Whoops, spoiler alert. No, not really a spoiler alert, because I’m pretty sure that in the trailer they let you know we’re doomed. Considered by some to be one of the best movies of 2011, it was also surrounded by some of the most controversy, thanks to the ever outspoken director Lars von Trier. At the Cannes Film Festival, there was a press conference to promote the film where some of von Trier’s awkward answers made him sound like a Nazi sympathizer, escalating to the point of claiming to be a Nazi, resulting in him not being allowed to attend the rest of the festival. He’s a German, in France, holding a press conference in English. Not to say that he should be absolved of what he said, but give me a fucking break. From watching the footage, it’s obvious that he was trying to make an inappropriate joke that didn’t go over well, admitted it wasn’t going over well, which dug him deeper into a hole. This wasn’t a Michael Richards situation, this was a guy trying to make a joke that didn’t go over well, and rather than changing the subject, turned the ridicule on himself. I’ve been there plenty of times, when I make a joke that is appropriate (but usually inappropriate), and when it doesn’t go over well end up making myself look worse. And that’s when I’m speaking English to people who also speak English! That language barrier seemed to fuck up the intended humor and self-deprecating intent and now he’s never doing press conferences again. Thanks a lot, France! By the way, in addition to knowing the world ends, there’ll be some spoilers coming up, and I recommend skipping my review and just watching the movie because I thought it was awesome.

 

Friendly reminder: the Earth gets smashed.

The first few moments of this movie we see some surreal images that foreshadow what we’ll see in the rest of the film. Lots of images of Justine (Kirsten Dunst) being sad and trudging through mud, weird weather effects, and a planet crashing into Earth and completely obliterating it. The title card pops on screen, then we start “Chapter 1″ of the film, which is titled “Justine”. Justine has just gotten married and is on her way to her own reception with her new husband Michael (Alexander Skarsgård). When the pair arrive, they are yelled at by Justine’s sister Claire (Charlotte Gainsbourg) and her husband John (Keifer Sutherland), which is understandable because they were the ones paying for it. The next hour of the film reveals that Justine has been struggling with depression and is doing her best to hold it back on even this, her supposed day of celebration. She manages to remain completely cold and distant to her new husband, tell off her boss, who then fires her, as well as having sex with someone she just met. The night ends with the pair going their separate ways, and everyone is pretty much just bummed out or angry about life sucking.

 

How can you be sad while dancing around with John Hurt!?

 

This is when we jump to Chapter 2, entitled “Claire”. Early on in Chapter 1 the characters noticed some sort of bright star or planet or something in the sky and John, a scientist, mentions it’s peculiar, but not in any sort of ominous way. We learn in Chapter 2 that this light is a planet called “Melancholia” that is supposed to swing past Earth, but miss it completely. This doesn’t stop Claire from getting really worked up over it, leaving John to be the one calming her down. Considering the huge depression Justine sinks into because of the incidents at the wedding, she becomes Claire’s responsibility for the time being. For the entirety of this chapter, Justine is either asleep or acting like a bitch towards everyone. I guess single-handedly destroying your own wedding hours after getting married does that to you, which would also explain why Claire found pills that would cause someone to overdose and die if they were taken. As Melancholia approaches, everyone gathers to watch it get closer and closer, then eventually further and further away. After seeing John scrawling some things in a notebook, we see Claire go searching for him. She uses a toy her son made that he was using to measure how close Melancholia was to Earth and becomes upset when it appears to be coming back towards Earth. When she ultimately finds John, it is in a barn, where he’s died from an overdose on Justine’s pills. having this confirm her worst fears, she tries to make peace with her sister and provide her son with a peaceful few hours, their last on Earth. The planet gets closer and closer, and Justine, Claire, and Claire’s son all sit down inside a small fort they’ve made with sticks as they wait for Melancholia to completely obliterate the planet, which we ultimately see it do firsthand.

 

Does that telescope shoot planet-destroying lazers? No? Then you’re fucked.

 

Goddamn you, Lars, and your ability to crush everyone’s souls. Although I wouldn’t say I “liked” his previous films, they have certainly had an impact on me. I really would like to say that Melancholia was actually two separate films, considering the difference in subject matter in each chapter, but I don’t think either would have the same impact were they not viewed together. At least in terms of visuals, especially with his work on Antichrist, I think von Trier is incredibly talented. Watching his take on the apocalyptic/sci-fi subject matter of this film, it reminded me of feelings I had when I first saw Danny Boyle’s foray into sci-fi with Sunshine. Even though the opening sequence didn’t have the same exact shots being recreated later in the film, it let you know the tone of the film with all of its strange, haunting, and surreal imagery. From lightning shooting off of Justine’s fingers to a horse sinking into the Earth, you knew that you were about to endure a slow struggle for happiness, that despite moments of happiness or excitement, these things were just harbingers of the eventual end of all things. The mixing of the sound is also something to make note of, as the musical segments of a wedding reception in Chapter 1 to the ominous, deafening, crushing sounds of a planet swooping past our own, only to slingshot back to completely destroy it. Pretty fucking intense stuff.

 

Whoops, forgot to mention this takes place on Tattooine. Hahaha, just kidding, Tattooine has two SUNS, not two MOONS you idiots!

 

Even after all the controversy at Cannes, Dunst was able to walk away with the Best Actress Award for her performance. While glancing over her filmography, I see that she’s been in multiple movies every single year since 1994, when she was 12 years old. Having seen her grow up on film, she’s always had the whole “girl next door” vibe to her, that is, if your next door neighbor was exceptionally attractive. It really wasn’t until Spider-Man in 2002 (where she played the girl next door who was exceptionally attractive) that she became a household name, and seems to have played that type of character ever since this. The first choice for the character of Justine and the actress who had helped develop the movie with von Trier was Penelope Cruz, who dropped out to do Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. I couldn’t help but watch every single scene thinking of how Cruz would have fared, and made me really want to see how that film would have turned out. Despite being constantly compared to another actress, I still think Dunst was able to stand out, even though she wasn’t necessarily stepping too far out of her comfort zone. The first half of the movie took you through a range of emotions, thinking everything from her being a self-centered bitch, to feeling sympathy for her sadness, to rage at cheating on her new husband, to pity on a character who was hellbent on self-destruction. The second half really belongs to Gainsbourg for showing the sympathetic vulnerability of a person who is willing to sacrifice themselves if it means helping someone they care about. Certainly a far stretch from her role in Antichrist and featured far less genital mutilation. The entire supporting cast was great also, from Sutherland, to Stellan Skarsgård who played Justine’s boss, to John Hurt as Justine and Claire’s father, and even the wedding planner, played by Udo Kier, was a hilarious juxtaposition from his typical roles of “scary German guy”.

 

Kirsten Dunst’s boobs and wolves. I know that’s what everybody came here for. I only mildly edited the original image, and I apologize for delving into the “NSFW” realm.

 

But the question remains: did any of this actually happen? Von Trier has said that the intent of his film was to examine the human psyche when confronted with disaster, and he himself was battling with depression while developing and making this film. Could one interpretation of what happens in the film be that Justine is so overwhelmed with sadness and depression that she manifests the end of the world herself? Maybe that “star” she saw at her wedding really was just a star, but through the events that transpired on her wedding night, she hoped for it to be another planet hurtling towards Earth. Some would argue that this could negate the whole point of the film, having it take place inside one character’s head, and other could argue this theory would only emphasize how omnipresent and powerful a force depression can be for someone. Something that could back that theory up has to do with a bit of dialogue that’s repeated multiple times. John’s character mentions there being 18 holes on his golf course a few times, yet when Claire realizes that Melancholia is going to hit Earth, she tries to escape on a golf cart with her son. Sadly, that golf cart stops working at hole 19. Is this symbolizing a break in reality? Is any of this actually happening? Do these events lose importance for the audience if it’s all happening in Justine’s head? I don’t think so. Whether you take this film in its most literal sense, which would be a group of characters last moments on Earth, or the more symbolic idea that depression can make someone feel like the world is ending and embraces that end with peace, I find it to be a powerful piece of work.  I wish I had seen this movie in 2011 so i could have included it in my list of favorite movies, but I guess it is stuck with this super-long review instead. Oh, and even though I liked it, it’s still no Armageddon. I mean, come on! Steve Buscemi AND Ben Affleck?! When Affleck is crying because Bruce Willis is staying on the meteor?! Now THAT is some fucking ART! That’s so much art that it makes Melancholia look like a piece of FART.

 

Wolfman Moon Scale


Official Site
IMDb

Filed under 5 Stars, Non-Horror Film Tagged with , , , , , , ,

My Favorite Pixar Films

September 13, 2011 2 Comments

You already think I’ve gone soft, haven’t you? HAVEN’T YOU?! Well, that’s assuming I was hard in the first place, and–nevermind just realized I am too immature to finish this narrative without making boner references. Speaking with a coworker the other day about Pixar films and thinking about how I enjoy making lists on this site, I figure I’d give you guys a little glimpse into what my favorite Pixar films are. I normally do “Top 5″ of things when I make lists, but I don’t think there are enough Pixar movies yet to constitute picking my 5 favorite. There’s only been 12 films so far, so I would really just be saying which half I like more. Without further ado, and in no particular order…wait, chronological order. That’s how I’ll do it.

1) Toy Story (1995)

I suppose that this is an obvious choice, considering it was the movie that started it all. This movie was also one of the first movies I went to see in theaters without family members, and I think I went opening day. It was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, so it was a half day, and I went to a theater that I ended up working at. I also think that from all the birthday money I had gotten that year I bought a bunch of Toy Story shit, and got a lot of Toy Story shit for Christmas. I understand that this makes me sound like a baby, but 15 years later I still buy toys, so don’t let that confuse you. It could be argued that any film in the Toy Story trilogy is just as good or better than any other of the films, but rather than deciding between which one is best, this one wins as a nostalgic level. Also, this is the only one that Joss Whedon was involved in, so bonus points for that.

 

2) The Incredibles (2004)

Although I didn’t quite realize it at the time, this film kind of blew my mind. I think I initially wrote it off as being not as good as the others, but after seeing it again…and again…and again, I realized that the reason it stood out was because this was the first non-kid oriented movie. Granted, it’s still a kid’s movie, I’m not saying it’s not appropriate for kids, but this was the first PG rated Pixar movie. CAN YOU EVEN FUCKING COMPREHEND THAT?! No longer was Pixar making movies for General audiences, they demanded that children have Parental Guidance with this film. You see a dead body, superheroes and henchmen alike DIE, and the main character is a middle-aged guy whose personal and professional life have fallen apart after the legal repercussions of his heroic actions. That was probably WAAAAY over the heads of kids, and other than maybe the opening segment of Up or the climax of Toy Story 3, this film takes the cake as far as most adult-oriented content. It comes as no surprise that this film was directed by brad bird, who five years earlier directed The Iron Giant, which is another one of my favorite animated movies.

 

3) WALL-E (2008)

Have I mentioned enough times on this blog the fact that I saw this movie, hesitantly, at its midnight release? Because I did. And it was one of the best mistakes I’ve ever made. THERE’S NO FUCKING DIALOGUE FOR THIRTY MINUTES. Yes, there are characters interacting with one another through primitive communication, but even that is limited to only about a dozen words. Obviously the fact that they can keep kids and adults thoroughly engaged in what’s going on with no dialogue is impressive, but that’s only where it starts. The film continues to tell a love story about two robots, while also projecting where humankind is heading, and that means we’re going to be fat pieces of shit who have ruined the planet and have to live in outer space. It does have one or two lines that are a little heavy-handed about the message it’s trying to make, but even with those lines, WALL-E manages to show a pessimistic outlook on life and how terrible the human species is. Also, there are lots of funny scenes where robots make noises at one another.

 

I’d also like to give an honorary mention to Up because that movie is also pretty grim, from the barren uterus of the main character’s wife, to her untimely death and resulting depression, and a side of parental abandonment. It does also have a main character that’s a dog, so that’s pretty awesome. I guess I just didn’t feel right making a “Top 4″, and I don’t think I like Up more than anything I already listed. I will say that I don’t like Monsters Inc. nearly as much as most people do, and everyone agrees that Cars is a piece of shit, and its sequel is the first Pixar movie I haven’t seen in theaters. Okay I’m wrong, I chose going to see Antz over A Bug’s Life, but Cars 2 just looked awful. Ratatouille is pretty good too, but takes a few viewings to really grow on you, and doesn’t really seem like a kids’ movie. Maybe next year’s Brave will be pretty good, or at least I hope it will be, because after that we get another installment of those Monsters Inc. guys in Monsters University. And even though it’s not technically a Pixar movie, I definitely recommend watching the documentary about those guys, “The Pixar Story”, to really appreciate every step they took along the way and how if one thing had changed even slightly, they wouldn’t be anywhere near what they are today.

Filed under 5 Stars, Inane Bullshit, Non-Horror Film Tagged with , , , , , , , , ,

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

July 22, 2011 Leave a Comment

I had started defending this movie from the moment I found out Chris Evans was cast. With Captain America being one of my favorite characters, mostly due in part to Ed Brubaker’s writing, I had every reason to be hesitant. After hearing the news about his casting an after watching the movie “Sunshine” a shit ton of times, I was really looking forward to every detail that was released. From the first snapshots taken on set, to the first official images, to the first poster, to the first trailer, all I felt was…”meh”. Really wasn’t too impressed, no matter how badly I wanted to be. Despite the fact that I wasn’t too impressed by anything I had seen, knowing the influence of comic book creators on the film, I knew that it just HAD to be good. Lucky for me, I was right. I was right as shit.

Aww, he’s just a wittle guy!

In early 1940′s Brooklyn, there’s a skinny kid with health problems that consistently prevent him from entering the Army, and that kid’s name is Steve Rogers. After a scientist overhears the fact that he continually tries and is rejected, he is offered the opportunity to enlist, thanks to an experimental division. After all the possible candidates for “Operation: Rebirth”, it is determined that Rogers is the best candidate for the procedure, because what he lacks in physical prowess, he more than makes up for in dedication, courage, and a sense of what’s right. The procedure is a success and he is transformed into a super soldier, but sadly, the one person who held the secret to the experiment was killed by a spy during the procedure. I should also explain that there was one other success in this project, but it was being conducted in Germany with the scientific division of the Nazis, and that man was Johann Schmidt, played by Hugo Weaving. The serum is intended to unlock the latent potential in an individual, and in Rogers’ case, it made him a super soldier, but with Schmidt, it gave him super-strength in addition to a bright red skull for a head. Some might call him “Red Skull” because of how much those physical characteristics make him stand out of a crowd. From the birth of Red Skull onward, the film focuses on the evil, scientific division of the Nazis that refer to themselves as “Hydra”, rather than making the bad guys straight-up Nazis. Apparently the Nazis have had it hard enough as it is. Steve’s ranking officer, Colonel Chester Phillips, played by Tommy Lee Jones, doesn’t seem to give a shit about the success and considers the project a mistake, but luckily Steve gets the opportunity to show his strength and power as a mascot known as “Captain America” in order to raise funds through USO shows across the country.

It just looks like someone went into Photoshop and found the Muscles tool and cranked that shit up as high as it would go

Despite the success that Captain America has, his routine falls a little short when he travels to visit the soldiers involved in World War II. When Rogers hears of a fellow soldiers, including his childhood friend James “Bucky” Barnes, played by Sebastian Stan, Steve takes it upon himself to single-handedly make his way behind Hydra lines to rescue them. After Colonel Phillips sees the success of Rogers, he allows him to take a squad of soldiers, which include Bucky, to go on all sorts of awesome, crazy, Hydra killing missions. Even though the team accomplishes a lot, he unfortunately can’t prevent Bucky from dying on one of these missions. Realizing the severity of the situation, as well as learning of Red Skull’s plan to harness the energy of an extremely powerful, mystical object known as the “Cosmic Cube”, Captain America really steps up his game. After learning that Red Skull is going to try to destroy practically the entire eastern seaboard, Rogers is able to finally catch up to Red Skull, and getting too overwhelmed by the power of the Cosmic Cube, he is “destroyed”…or something. Being the only one who can stop the plane, Steve takes it upon himself to crash the plane into the Arctic Ocean, rather than allow it to destroy all the cities in America. He “dies”, and everyone is sad. However, we then see Steve wake up in a bed, supposedly in the 1940′s. BUT…after freaking out and realizing it is a trick, Steve escapes into the middle of present day Times Square, and then Nick Fury, played by Samuel L. Jackson, says something along the lines of “Are you ready to be in an Avengers movie next summer?”

You guys forgot that this actress was British and has one of those guns that blows things up behind her! You idiots!

The most effective scene in the entire movie when it comes to solidifying Captain America/Steve Rogers is one that you can see in the trailer. When Colonel Phillips tosses a “live” grenade into a group of soldiers at boot camp, everyone runs away, except for Steve, who dives on top of it to try to save other people. That was an effective scene in the trailer, and is just as effective in the movie. It’s difficult to try to explain why Captain America is such an enjoyable character, and it’s that state-of-mind, that self-sacrifice, that courage is what drives him and everything he does. Chris Evans was able to really capture that essence in the ways I knew he would. He was funny when he needed to be, vulnerable when he needed to be, and beat the shit out of Nazis when he had to. Oh, and by the way, I’m just going to make things easier for myself and refer to all of the bad guys as Nazis. What was I saying? Oh yes, Evans was awesome at punching Nazis. In fact, all of the actors and actresses were really enjoyable in this movie, and despite not naming her earlier, I’d like to point out that Hayley Atwell was good as Peggy Carter. My one complaint with Steve Rogers, and it was something that couldn’t be avoided, was when Steve was a scrawny kid before the experience. I’d say he is small for 30% of the movie, and half of that time it is pulled off really well, the other time things looked kind of weird. Unfortunately, that was the nature of the beast, and it certainly had to be a more drastic difference in size with this film than something like Tobey Maguire in Spider-Man. Other than that, all of the effects were really convincing, and the “gloss”, if you will, of everything really added to the sense that this movie took place in the 40′s as opposed to present day.

A little bit of trivia is that this is the first film that Hugo Weaving didn’t require any makeup for

There were quite a few instances where the comic book nerdery came out and I would internally say “OH MAN IT’S THAT GUY FROM THAT THING THAT HAPPENED ONE TIME”, but I prefer not to mention them all. I can’t help but point out one of my biggest delights, which was knowing that Captain America’s secret squad was actually the Howling Commandos, which included Dum Dum Dugan. Seeing Dum Dum getting broken out of the Nazi camp was awesome, and seeing the Howling Commandos so their thing, despite not being called that, was still great. Another moment was also seeing the actual first issue of Captain America, featuring him punching Hitler in the face, being used as part of the USO campaign that Rogers was involved in. One thing that I think made this film standout from all the other Marvel films was the passage of time. Most other stories have involved a series of events taking place that are all directly related to one another, and Event A causes Event B which causes Event C, and the movie’s over. The time between Operation: Rebirth to the first time Steve fights Nazis is over a year, and once he takes charge of the Howling Commandos, we only see a montage of some of their missions, which we are to assume takes place over weeks, if not months. I guess it just kind of helped show Cap as a symbol of good who is continually proving himself, rather than someone who gets kind of thrown into things.

I’m still trying to figure out what that “A” on his helmet stands for. I mean, his name is Steve! There’s no “A” in Steve!

The reason I feel that I didn’t have high hopes for this movie is because nothing can really be adequately be captured in a few seconds for a trailer. The trailer shows quite a few scenes of him running and jumping, but it’s all out of context and not that impressive. I remember saying about the Incredible Hulk movie that one of the best part was seeing Tim Roth’s character run faster, jump higher, and hit harder than everyone else, which is what the appeal of the action sequences were in this film. I could probably watch Captain America beat the hit out of Nazis all day. He punches a guy, throw his shield at a bunch of guys, hit them all, drop kick a guy in the chest, then jump over a tank, then catch his shield, then smash someone with it. That might not be EXACTLY what happens, but close enough. Just to reiterate, I was nervous the action scenes wouldn’t be cool because of the trailer, but they were all awesome. Similar to Thor, this movie served as a prologue to the upcoming Avengers film, but this film was far more entertaining than that one was. It was slow in parts, but once it picked up, I just didn’t want it to stop. Thor was a little anticlimactic, or at least, you only recognized the film as a first step towards the Avengers movie, whereas this movie felt like a complete story that could stand on its own. Well, except for maybe the whole waking up in present day thing, which could have been confusing. I think this might be the first superhero movie I’ve seen since the first X-Men that made me want to go out later that night to see it for a second time. Instead, I’m writing this review to encourage you all to go see this movie, then punch some Nazis in the face.

Wolfman Moon Scale


Official Site
IMDb

Filed under 5 Stars, 5 Stars, Comics, Non-Horror Film Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

X-Men: First Class (2011)

June 4, 2011 18 Comments

 

Despite my allegiance typically falling to Captain America in comics, this movie was probably the comic book movie I was most looking forward to this summer, after having the most doubts. Seeing how often Marvel had been knocking things out of the park while producing their own films, and remembering how shitty that Wolverine movie was, you can’t blame me for being a little hesitant. The first X-Men movie definitely was a game changer and really shot comic books into the mainstream, especially when it comes to financial value. All of these factors in mind, and knowing that this movie was supposed to actually be an origin movie focusing on Magneto, I watched the trailer with bated breath. Then when I watched it, as much as I didn’t want to admit it, it was awesome. The more I watched it, the better it got. And then when more and more trailers and character trailers and TV spots kept coming out, I had to limit myself, thinking I would only be disappointed. Luckily, I was wrong. I’m going to try not to spoil too much, but if you’re one of those people who read this blog NOT looking for spoilers, go away and cry in a corner or something. Actually, I’m sure you can read this and be fine.

 

It’s almost like this chess match means MORE than just a chess match…almost…

 

This film starts off the same exact way as the first X-Men film starts, showing a young Jewish boy in a concentration camp being torn from his parents, and his emotions cause him to warp a metal fence. We then get to see this young boy having his mother threatened by a Nazi scientist, played by Kevin Bacon, and noticing how powerful his mutant abilities are after his mother has been killed. We then meet a young Charles Xavier catching a shape-shifting mutant named Raven Darkholme in his kitchen, and the two strike up a friendship. As these characters get older, we see that the young Jewish boy, named Erik Lehnsherr and now played by Michael Fassbender, is in pursuit of the man who killed his mother. meanwhile, Charles Xavier, played by James McAvoy, is attending Oxford, honing his telepathic abilities while also studying genetics. Charles is contacted by a C.I.A. agent after she witnesses people who appear to her as “mutants”, and knowing his expertise, gets involved in tracking these mutants down. While Charles helps intercept these powerful mutants, we also learn that Erik is after the same person, Sebastian Shaw, who was the person who executed his mother. Both Charles and Erik fail at apprehending Shaw, yet realizing how powerful a team they make, team up with the C.I.A. to track down other mutants, and then there’s a fun montage.

 

I tried to find a photo of everyone in uniform, but instead, all I could find was a picture of all the characters LOOKING at their box full of uniforms. Meh, you get the idea.

 

Through their searching, they find a mutant with insect wings, one who adapts to survive in any given situation, a mutant that can create super-sonic sound waves with his voice, another who can channel his energy into a focused energy beam, as well as meeting a mutant working for the C.I.A. named Henry McCoy, played by Nicholas Hoult, whose mutation involves the power, speed, and agility of some sort of animal. After these mutants are recruited, Charles and Xavier also learn of mutants working for Shaw, with abilities as strong as teleportation and another with the power to create powerful whirlwinds from his hands. Not to mention to telepathic mutant Emma Frost, played by January Jones, who also has the ability to turn her skin to diamonds, as well as always wear clothes where her boobs look huge. Very important superpower, clearly. After learning that Shaw is playing the Russians against the United States and vice versa, and considering the fact that it’s 1962 and the world is on the brink of a nuclear war, Charles and Erik start training their young recruits, thus making them the “first class” of X-Men. There are training scenes, and fun montages, and then Henry tries to create a serum to hide the physical manifestations of mutants, only to get even more beastly, and being covered in blue hair. There’s a big fight between the good mutants and the bad mutants and some people get hurt and other people switch sides, and in case you didn’t know already, Charles and Erik become divided on their outlooks of humans. After the whole debacle, when referring to the fact that Charles will train as many mutants as possible, and claiming that these mutants weren’t quite “G-Men”, they are referred to as “X-Men”, and I guess that’s the end. Oh, by the way, THERE IS NOTHING AFTER THE END CREDITS. Don’t waste your time, because no, there’s no hidden scene after the credits of X-Men: First Class. Am I being clear enough here? You can leave…like, right away.

 

Just as much gesticulating, but now with a cooler helmet!

 

NOW THAT’S WHAT I’M FUCKING TALKING ABOUT. All of my doubts about this movie were completely squashed, because it was awesome. It’s also over two hours long, so they really embraced the opportunity to start up a new trilogy. It’s hard to appease fans of the comics, as well as fans of the previous movies, AND people who knew nothing about the comics, all in one shot. As far as referencing the previous films go, there were two actors from the previous franchise, but I won’t spoil who they were or the context. In addition to that, to those who were paying attention, the musical cues all seemed to be derivative of the score from the first three films. You might not be able to think of what that music was from those films off the top of your head, but when you hear it in this movie, you’ll definitely recognize it. As far as appeasing comic book fans, even though this lineup wasn’t actually the “first class”, I think they did a great job of picking to highlight. Mainly, none of the characters were necessarily all that popular, and could be used in virtually any context. Of course there were people who knew them, but to just go to someone on the street and ask if they knew about the X-Men characters named Banshee, Havoc, Riptide, or Azazel, you’d probably be met with confused faces.

 

Must have been love at first…BITE! Hahaha, get it?! Because that’s Beast, and beasts typically bite things.

 

There were a few characters in this film that had already been featured in X-Men movies, so obviously there were certainly expectations as far as their portrayals. James McAvoy showed Charles as cocky and confident, using his knowledge as pickup lines , which isn’t really a side of him we’ve seen before. In addition to that, we also got a chance to see him being unsure of himself, at times, as well as extremely passionate and emotional, which could only have been shown with a younger Charles, compared to the more wise interpretation by Sir Patrick Stewart. Mystique was played by Jennifer Lawrence, who is a character we have only known as evil, and generally is pictured as being blue and covered in scales. Despite typically picturing her as blue, the character was extremely human in this movie, and you understood her feelings of isolation from humanity a lot more clearly. With Henry McCoy, we got to see a genius who was timid and a little unsure of himself, even though he was rarely, if ever, wrong about anything. Nicholas Hoult did an excellent job with this character, as opposed to Kelsey Grammer, who was basically blue Frasier. Kevin Bacon had to convey an inherit evilness without being too over-the-top, which he managed quite well. I was quite nervous about Emma Frost, considering how she is such an exaggerated version of anything ever, both her physical form as well as anything she ever does or say. January Jones even admitted that being as curvy as Emma Frost is drawn is practically impossible, and once people accept that, they’ll accept her. And ya know what? I did. She managed to be a bitch in the few lines of dialogue she had, and managed to dress in an extremely revealing way without necessarily looking like a slut. Even if there weren’t as many strong actors as I’ve mentioned, it wouldn’t matter, because this really was Michael Fassbender’s film. He was able to show Erik Lehnsherr in his prime, who was driven, powerful, angry, and had something to prove. He was ruthless, and didn’t care who or what got in the way of his mission, even if it was his best friend Charles. Man, he was awesome.

 

HAVE NO FEAR…YOU SEE EMMA FROST IN HER UNDERWEAR. SEE? LOOK UP.

 

The reason why this movie worked is because it really seem like 20th Century Fox knew that this would be one of their last chances to gain financially from this franchise. They had to be able to not only treat this movie as a starting point for all of these characters and these storylines, as well finish out the story in case there couldn’t be another one, and still leave their possibilities open for a sequel. They managed to achieve all of these things in a fun and exciting way, and by placing it during the Cuban missile crisis, also added quite a bit of seriousness and legitimacy to the whole thing. This movie was more of a spy movie from the 60′s than it was your typical comic book movie, and hopefully people comes out to see it by the millions. I know that I really can only compare it to Thor so far, but it was better than Thor. Fuck it, it was better than most of the other X-Men movies, with maybe the exception of X2. This movie set the bar even higher than it had already been for Green Lantern to come out in two weeks, but even if that sucks, I can always go see X-Men: First Class again. Unless of course, they cut out scenes of January Jones, because then I might as well blow my brains out.

 

Wolfman Moon Scale


Official Site
IMDb

Filed under 5 Stars, 5 Stars, Comics, Non-Horror Film Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

X2 (2003)

May 10, 2011 Leave a Comment



I think I had mentioned seeing this movie on opening day, which, I guess, means I’m mildly full of shit. Granted, I did see the midnight showing of this movie, which was technically on opening day, but it wasn’t the first morning showing of the day. Sorry for being such an asshole. However, I would like to note that I did see this at midnight with Lazer, which I think totally makes up for any lies I have told you. I remember as this movie was coming out I made sure to keep my eyes out for toys at the local Toys R’ Us, but I only saw a handful, and they were all kind of shitty. I don’t think that stopped me from buying some little wolverine guy who stood on a base and when you rotated him, his claws went crazy, but these were shitty by comparison.



Pretty sure that Sir Ian McKellen got paid per gesticulation

 

The film opens with an intense scene involving a mutant and their assassination attempt on the president, leaving behind a dagger with a ribbon saying “Mutant Freedom Now!”, yet the character is one we haven’t seen before. We then join the students of Xavier’s school at a museum, and are reintroduced to the mutants going by the names “Iceman” and “Pyro”. I’m sure you can figure their powers out. They get busted using their powers in a very public place, and are reprimanded by Jean Grey, who Cyclops notes has had trouble with her psychic abilities overpowering her recently. Wolverine returns to the school after gathering some information about his past, which is just in time for him to look after the school while Storm and Jean try to find the mutant assassin and Xavier and Cyclops visit Magneto in his plastic prison. It’s during this time where Wolverine is the only X-Man available that the military man William Stryker, played by Brian Cox, invades the school to eliminate the mutant threat. It is during this siege that Stryker alludes to having information about Wolverine’s past, but Wolverine’s priorities are with the students, which he helps escape, and hit the road with Iceman, Rogue, and Pyro.



OH I’VE GOT A JOYSTICK YOU CAN MANHANDLE…IF YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN…COLECOVISION

 

While the siege was going on, we meet the mutant assassin Nightcrawler, who has the ability to teleport short distances. It was this power that lead to his involvement in the assassination attempt, which we also learn was conceived by Stryker, using a direct application of a chemical to a mutants neck which results in mind control. Strangely, Stryker has an assistant in all of this, which happens to be a mutant named Lady Deathstrike whose powers are similar to those of Wolverine, despite Stryker clearly hating mutants. Mystique returns in this film to inject a guard with liquid metal so that Magneto can extract that metal and escape the prison, but only after Xavier and Cyclops have been drugged and kidnapped by Stryker. Stryker’s ultimate goal is to use his own son’s mutant mind-control powers to convince Xavier to use a makeshift Cerebro device to kill all mutants. The only way to save mutants is by having Wolverine, Rogue, Iceman, Storm, and Jean Grey team up with Magneto and Mystique, also joined by new bad guy in training Pyro. The following rescue mission results in Wolverine killing Lady Deathstrike with a direct injection of adamantium, Magneto attempting to use the mutant killing device to kill anything that isn’t a mutant, Wolverine allowing Stryker to die, rather than learn more about his past, and sadly, the self-sacrifice of Jean Grey, which saves all the good guys.



Brian Cox was totally Brian Cox-ing the shit out of this movie. It was awesome.

 

THAT’S WHAT I’M FUCKING TALKING ABOUT! Eight years after it’s release, this film continues to be one of the best comic book movies ever made. With the first film setting things up, and not having to deal with introductions of the principal cast, the filmmakers were able to get right to the action, which was literal and figurative action. We only met a handful of new characters, and other than the antagonist, none of them played a major role, so you didn’t need to spend too much time with them. All of the actors really immersed themselves in their characters, and started to make them their own, rather than relying to closely on the plethora of course material they had out there. There are different variations of all of these characters found in different Marvel universes, and I feel as though the portrayals of these characters from this film and the previous film, deserve their own recognition. Well, everybody except Halle Berry, because Storm still sucked in this movie, but she got a bigger part because she was just won an Oscar for getting boned doggystyle by Billy Bob Thornton.



Poor thing…grew out your nails and squeezed into leather, only to die after only saying one line

 

For as much as this movie was accessible, like the previous film, to people who nothing about comics, it also really spoke to comic book fans. The plot of this film was heavily borrowed from the events of the “God Loves, Man Kills” storyline in X-Men comics from the early 80′s. Even Stryker’s name is used from that graphic novel, albeit his profession being changed from a priest to a militant figure. However, the idea of kidnapping Professor X in hopes of killing all the mutants is taken almost directly, which might not be something every moviegoer realizes, but every comic book fan would appreciate. In addition to that, there are more subtle nods to the franchise found throughout. Things like Dr. Hank McCoy, who people know as the mutant Beast, appearing on TV, as well as a searching through a computer to see all sorts of names familiar to comic book readers, and it’s those small touches that really appease the nerd in all of us. Finally, I’d just like to mention that for as awesome as this movie was, that whole two hours, that the most exciting moment took place at the very end, which was hearing Jean Grey repeat a dialogue spoken by Professor X in the first film, while the camera flies over the place where she dies, as we see the faint outline of a flaming bird, right before jumping to the credits. This was a direct reference to the Dark Phoenix saga, which involves the death, as well as evil rebirth, of Jean Grey. If that moment wasn’t enough to show you how great of a fit it was to have Bryan Singer directing these movies, nothing would, because that moment caused many nerdgasms worldwide.


Wolfman Moon Scale


IMDb
Netflix
Amazon DVD

Filed under 5 Stars, 5 Stars, Comics, Non-Horror Film Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

127 Hours (2010)

April 11, 2011 2 Comments

 

Whoa, that sure is a long movie! Hahaha! Get it? I’m pretending the movie is 127 hours long, but it’s not. You fucking idiot. I wanted to see this movie in theaters, but Rampaige didn’t, which made me kind of lazy about the whole situation. When I finally decided I would go, I found out it would be on Netflix two weeks later, so I put my money back in my pocket. It’s a Danny Boyle movie, so I knew it was going to be good, but considering what the plot was, and the fact that it was based on a true story, I was curious as to how entertaining it would be. Also, generally anything that has Oscar buzz is something I will stray away from, or at least wait a longer period of time before seeing it, so I can try to remain relatively unbiased. Looks like the hype has died down, so here we go!

 

Hope you weren’t planning on honking on their hooters, bro!

 

We get the sense that Aron Ralston, played by James Franco, enjoys adventure, and doesn’t really enjoy too many other people. From mountain biking to hiking to climbing rocks, he seems to enjoy being independent and taking on whatever challenges he may face with a positive attitude. After going for a hike in relative seclusion, he ends up falling down a small canyon and a rock wedges his arm against the side of the canyon, trapping him there, with no one knowing his whereabouts. Having the necessary supplies for any hiker, he tries multiple ways to free his arm, and eventually realizes that there is no way he can save himself. The film then shows his hallucinations, caused by the isolation and lack of water, the ups and downs of his frustrations, his regrets, his documenting of messages to family and friends, pretty much the whole gamut of what someone would do with 127 hours to themselves. Aron determines that his only chance at surviving is for him to remove his arm. He gives himself a tourniquet and uses his own strength to break his arm. Having a broken arm means he doesn’t have to saw through it the way he needs to cut through it the way he cuts through the rest of his arm. Finally free from the rock, he finds water, and is found by hikers in the area, as a helicopter lands to give him the medical treatment he needs. We see the real Aron Ralston at the end of the film, with wife and newborn, and we learn that he still goes mountain climbing despite missing part of his arm, but now he always leaves a note saying wherever he is going.

 

Brutal wipeout, bro! Shouldn’t have been listening to Phish so loudly!

 

I generally don’t like to think of what I will rate a movie as I’m watching it, because it’s generally better to wait until the end. I couldn’t help but think about what I liked about the movie, then what I didn’t like, and trying to determine how much I liked it. All of the scenes of Aron exploring on his own, as well as when he meets up with two female hikers and goes swimming in an underground pool, were awesome. All shots looked great, everything about them was interesting, and it was hard not to pay attention and take in every detail. Once he lands in the canyon, it was quite a challenge to make the rest of the movie, where you only have one character, engaging for a viewer, without them getting bored. The real Aron said that this film was as close as you could get to being a documentary while still being a drama, so you’ve got to give credit to Danny Boyle for being so thorough in the details about the incident he researched, as well as to James Franco for being able to bring himself to that place mentally, and portray it onscreen. I would say the scenes of Aron hallucinating and running through all the things he did differently were the scenes that made me not enjoy the movie as much, maybe just because of how surreal and disjointed things are. If you’ve seen The Beach, it was similar to scenes in that movie of Leonardo DiCaprio exploring the jungle as his own, where it seems surreal to the point of silliness.

 

Should have chugged some Mountain Dew, bro! That would’ve given you the strength of ten X-gamers!

 

Knowing ahead of time that he was going to cut his arm off kind of sets you on edge for a good portion of the movie. Rampaige got up and walked away three times, thinking it was about to happen at any moment. The first time involved him just taking his utility knife and attempts to cut through his skin, but due to the poor quality of the knife, he barely even breaks the surface. The next time he just takes his knife and stabs right into his arm. We even see an interior shot of his arm where we can see the knife inside hitting the bone. Finally, we see him break his arm, and uses the smallest attachment on his utility knife to cut away the skin. This part was pretty intense, and was supposedly filmed in just one take, due to only having one prossthetic arm. You couldn’t even block your eyes to escape it, because you see him attempt to sever a nerve, only to hear sharp grinding sounds blast from the soundtrack, trying to portray how intense the pain of slicing your own nerve was. Phew, just typing this shit out is making me sweat.

 

For being a mountain climber, his fingernails are pretty tidy. Bro.

 

Luckily, by the time the movie was over, I hadn’t set in stone the rating it would get, because the rating certainly changed my outlook. Considering so many other films end with such a negative outlook on life, it was really powerful seeing this movie end on a high note. or at least, a relatively high note. It wasn’t until Aron freed himself from the rock that you truly had a sense of his isolation and desperation, and the overwhelming relief he felt. The real Aron is now a public speaker, giving lectures about positive thinking and empowering yourself to get through the tough moments in life. The time between his escape from the rock to the end of the movie is about ten minutes, and it is pure excitement, joy, and relief that whole time. From the uplifting music, to the fast-paced movement of each shot, to each shot being much more well-lit, the whole thing is a celebration of how fortunate Aron is and how incredible it was that he was able to escape with his life. I would recommend this movie to anyone who is having a shitty day or a tough time in their lives, because, hey, at least you didn’t have to cut your own fucking arm off with a dull knife. Oh, and he was stuck under the rock for 127 hours, did I mention that already?

 

Wolfman Moon Scale



Official Site
IMDb
Netflix
Amazon DVD

Filed under 5 Stars, Non-Horror Film Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Monsters (2010)

March 9, 2011 2 Comments

I remember hearing about this movie last year, but only vague descriptions of it. I remember when I tried to get Rampaige to watch it, I told her it was something kind of like District 9, but with monsters instead of aliens. I was kind of right, but, not really. What I forgot to think about is that the terms “monster” and “alien” aren’t mutually exclusive, and some people might consider aliens to be monsters. Apparently the makes of this movie did, because there sure were some mother fucking monster-y aliens in it! Oh, and there’s going to be spoilers that I’m going to include at the end, so if the movie sounds interesting, skip the spoilers.



I mean, come on, are you really missing out on that much?

 

Apparently monster-y aliens have landed on Earth, in Mexico to be exact, and the film opens with a military squad attacking these aliens, and then there’s a huge explosion that supposedly kills everything and everyone where this was taking place. We then see a young man and woman, and learn that they are on the wrong side of the “Isolated Zone” and are trying to get through it to get back to America. The woman is apparently the daughter of the owner of a company that this young man works for, so it’s his duty to make sure she finds safe passage across. The rest of this 94 minute film shows their trials and tribulations, and there really isn’t all that much action or suspense. Or, rather, not as much as I was suspecting. They finally cross the border into America, which appears to be in a really desolate region, possibly because the aliens have made their way to this location. The couple get to a gas station and contact the authorities, and while awaiting pickup, they see two aliens descend upon the gas station. Rather than attacking the humans, the two aliens interact with one another in a big tentacular spectacle, and then continue on their way. We then see the military approaching in a caravan, and the film ends.


SPOILER

When we see the military in the first five minutes, one soldier is singing a specific theme song. We here that song being sung as we see the caravan approaching. I watched the first five minutes again to see that the characters we were just watching end up being attacked once again by the aliens, and they are the ones who were blown up and exploded.

END SPOILERS

 



Who are the real monsters…the aliens, or the people trying to kill them? Hahaha just kidding, luckily they skimped on that cheesy metaphor for the most part.

 

If you skipped over the spoilers, than this movie isn’t too bad. It’s labeled as “sci-fi” and “horror”, but is definitely more of a love story. Sure, this love story is taking place in this world where there are monsters that are killing people, and the military is destroying populations where they think the monsters are, but it’s still a love story. There’s nothing especially exciting about this love story either. You don’t necessarily dislike or like either of the characters to an extreme, you just get to explore their relationship in this world of fear, knowing they could die at any moment. Although there were certainly moments where clearly the director was trying to make political/social statements about “fear of the unknown” and the general fear and hatred of different cultures/lifeforms, it wasn’t too over-the-top. It also wasn’t trying to be too subtle about it, and they really just made a few specific statements about where the agenda and priorities of the United States government were. I’m going to end the review of the non-spoiler related plot there, because that stuff wasn’t all that incredible. Maybe a Half Moon. However, I recommend seeing this movie because of the subject matter contained in the spoilers, but don’t want to ruin it for anyone going to see it.


SPOILER REVIEW

As we see the military approaching, we hear one soldier singing a very specific song that one of the soldiers was singing in the opening five minutes. As it turns out, the opening scene, showing the monster assault and a guided missile killing everything, was what the fate of the main characters was. THEY FUCKING DIED! I wasn’t quite sure I got it, but when I watched the opening again, you can see the two main characters bloody and screaming as clear as day. Maybe other people knew that the whole time, but it only dawned on me at the very end. With that in mind, knowing all that bullshit romance ended in death and sadness, it made the film that much more enjoyable. I’m not saying this movie is perfect, and maybe after a repeat viewing I will lower its rating, but I was thoroughly entertained for 94 minutes, and anything that ends in complete loss of hope, as well as death, is fine by me!


Wolfman Moon Scale


Official Site
IMDb
Netflix
Amazon DVD

Filed under 5 Stars, 5 Stars, Horror Film, Non-Horror Film Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

My Favorite Directors

March 8, 2011 19 Comments

I feel like I haven’t done anything where I just got to tamble about things I liked, so here we go. I’m also nervous that this list will be obvious, and I’ll look like some smarmy fucking cocksucker, but I really don’t care. I just feel that it’s easier, when people ask me, to tell them some of my favorite filmmakers, rather than pointing out specific films. Rather than one list that compiles all genres together, I decided to go with three from the horror genre, and three non-horror.

Horror Directors:

John Carpenter

Reasons Why: Halloween, The Fog, The Thing, Big Trouble in Little China, Prince of Darkness, They Live

You can see the diversity in the subject matter of his films, but they all have that Carpenter feel. Whether it be a slashing stalker, zombie ghosts, aliens, or action, Carpenter is always able to pace his movies in a way most other people couldn’t get away with. It seems as though he is always telling people to “slow down”, which really allows the audience to soak in every atmospheric moment of his films. I don’t feel as any of his work would be as accomplished without the soundtrack, which he sometimes provides, that is as integral to his filmmaking as every scene he films.

George Romero

Reasons Why: Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Creepshow, Day of the Dead, Tales From the Darkside (TV Series)

My opinion isn’t always the popular one, that his best film is Creepshow, rather than his involvement with his zombie franchise. Night of the Living Dead was a film that inspired generation upon generation of filmmakers, and even if you don’t like it personally, it needs to be respected for what it did for the Horror genre. Dawn of the Dead is my favorite, showing that Horror doesn’t always have to be a short term fear of a creature attacking you, but can be drawn from the overwhelming sense of dread of knowing that this creature will never be defeated…ever. He certainly isn’t perfect, looking at his track record, but my love for what he was able to accomplish with Creepshow and the Tales From the Darkside series, I have to give him a pass on things I didn’t enjoy.

Dario Argento

Reasons Why: Suspiria, Opera

I might look like a “new jack” for only listing two films, but those two films are fucking awesome. Granted, I haven’t watched EVERY film in his catalogue, but he was able to accomplish with these two films what some directors wish to accomplish in an entire career. I’ve mentioned in a different post how the first five minutes of Suspiria is more unsettling and strange than most other films. It’s the surreality in his films that secures him a spot on this list. Another example being the fact that in Suspiria, originally being written about much younger girls, he made all of the doorknobs unrealistically high, causing all of the adult females to have to reach up higher. This is something that generally goes unnoticed, or is excused by saying “Whatever, it’s Italy”, but it’s those details for the absurd and strange that makes his films so enjoyable.

Non-Horror Directors

David Fincher

Reasons Why: Se7en, The Game, Fight Club, Panic Room, Zodiac, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Social Network

If I had to narrow it down to one director, it would be this guy. He seems like such a humble, mild-mannered individual who really doesn’t understand the standards of filmmaking. It’s either that, or he knows what standard filmmaking is extremely well, and knows how to do everything the opposite of that. Se7en really seemed to reinvent the horror/thriller genre, and showed a different side of New York City that you hoped and prayed didn’t exist. Fight Club took a novel about schizophrenia, philosophy, nihilism, and violence, and was able to convey those ideas to a wide audience. After those two movies I knew I would see every movie Fincher would ever do, even if it meant watching a movie about Facebook. I think what sells it for me is his attention to detail. No one detail is more important than any other, whether it be wardrobe, set pieces, or an actor’s portrayal of a character. Every single element gets as much devotion paid to it as any other, even if this means shooting the same scene over 100 times….literally. Also, every single one of his shots in every single movie has the coolest lighting. I just like looking at them.

Danny Boyle

Reasons Why: Shallow Grave, Trainspotting, A Life Less Ordinary, The Beach, 28 Days Later, Sunshine

Just looking at his films, you get an idea of his diversity. He can entertain you with a murder mystery, make you disgusted with humanity, have a romantic comedy with musical numbers, break a stereotypical teen heartthrob into a selfish yuppie seeking adventure, terrify you with zombies, and use science fiction to make people realize “we’re all stardust”. Not only does he make movies from all different genres, but no two films are alike. Sure, you could definitely use the word “gritty” when it comes to his style, but comparing A Life Less Ordinary to Trainspotting, the two are drastically different. He can even take that gritty style into outer space to give people what I think is one of the best science fiction films of the past ten years.

Paul Thomas Anderson

Reasons Why: Boogie Nights, Magnolia, Punch-Drunk Love, There Will Be Blood

Similar to David Fincher, P.T.A. never does anything arbitrarily. He seems to completely immerse himself in every single project he gets involved in, but possibly the biggest credit is due to his casting. It seems as though he is able to take a perfect combination of script, set, and actors, and these elements combine to pull off some wonderful films. And from listening to the commentary tracks on his movies, he also always makes it seem so effortless, and he seems quite humble. Specifically the documentary for Magnolia, you can see the trials and tribulations of the film, and it appears that it could fail, and you really get a sense of having to prove he can make more than one great movie, no matter how hard it may be to top Boogie Nights. When you see him collecting awards for Magnolia, you take that much more away from it seeing that even he didn’t know he could succeed so well again.

Looking at this list, it looks trendy as fuck. Maybe that’s just me, and I’m sensitive to publicly admit some of my favorite things. Hopefully you take the time to read how I feel about each filmmaker, and hopefully my reasons for why they’re on my list is different than what you had expected. Sadly, I just didn’t have room for Michael Bay.

Wait….while trying to find an image for David Fincher, I accidentally stumbled across a picture of Spike Jonze. In retrospect, I wish I had somehow found a way to include him, because although his feature film list is short, it’s awesome, as are all of his music videos.

Filed under 5 Stars, 5 Stars, Horror Film, Inane Bullshit, Non-Horror Film Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Proposition (2005)

March 6, 2011 Leave a Comment



Remember how I just reviewed True Grit? Remember how I said I don’t really like Westerns? Well, this is one of the exceptions. For as much as I don’t even really like Westerns now, when I first saw this movie a few years ago, I had even less of an interest. I was still big into Guy Pearce because he was riding the awesomeness of L.A. Confidential, Ravenous, and Memento, which made me more apt to check this out. And the fact that Nick Cave had written the script is something I was pretty excited about too, mostly because I liked that “Red Right Hand” song. Plus I think I bought this movie before ever even seeing it because I really needed to complete the Blockbuster “4 DVDs for $20″ deal. Oh boy, remember DVDs? The 2000′s were a strange, strange time.



Come on, Guy! Eat a fucking sandwich!

 

Guy Pearce plays Charlie Burns, an outlaw who has been apprehended by the law, along with his younger brother Mikey Burns, played by Richard Wilson. The Captain who has arrested him, played by Ray Winstone, offers Charlie a deal. If Charlie gets his older brother, Arthur, played by Danny Huston, and kills him, then Captain Stanley will allow Charlie and his brother to go free. If he doesn’t, then he will hang Mikey on Christmas day. Charlie finds this to be an interesting “proposition”, and goes out in search of his older brother. While Charlie is on the road, Captain Stanley’s boss order that Mikey be punished for his crimes, despite the deal Stanley made with Charlie. This involves Mikey receiving 100 lashes, and after refusing to do so, Captain Stanley is fired, and Mikey receives the lashes anyway.



That’s GOTTA hurt!

 

While Charlie is in search of his brother Arthur, he encounters a bounty hunter who is in search of the Burns gang, as well as aborigines, who happen to spear him in a cave. Right before passing out from the spear, he sees the person who speared him’s head explode by gunshot. He wakes up and sees his brother, Arthur, is the one who helped him. Arthur learns of the deal, and decides to break Mikey out of prison. As Charlie, Arthur, and the rest of the gang break Mikey from prison, Charlie takes Mike away while Arthur stays behind to murder the remaining guards. The injuries sustained during the lashings were too severe for Mike,y and he dies in Charlie’s arms. After burying him, Charlie goes back into town to see check in with Captain Stanley, only to see that Arthur has severely beaten Stanley as another man is raping Stanley’s wife. After Arthur invites Charlie to take part in the violent revenge for Mikey’s death, Charlie shoots the man raping Stanley’s wife point-blank in the head, and shoots Arthur in the stomach. Arthur stumbles out of the house, only to have Charlie tell Stanley he is going to join his brother, and Charlie follows a trail of blood to see Arthur sitting in the dirt. The film ends with the two brothers, one of them about to die, looking at the sunset.



More movies need scenes where characters look at the sunset and lament everything about human existence.

 

Pretty brutal, huh? The acting in this was great, and between Guy Pearce, Ray Winstone, and Danny Huston, it’s hard to pick one great performance over the others. The landscape of the Australian outback was captured beautifully, and the script was extremely well complemented by the soundtrack, written and performed by Nick Cave, along with Warren Ellis. No, not that comic book Warren Ellis, a different Warren Ellis. The story itself might not seem to stand out from other Westerns, but it’s the overall bleak disposition of all of these characters. Nobody seems to enjoy their existence, no matter what side of the law they’re on. In particular, seeing Captain Stanley and his wife being so secluded and shut off from any semblance of a large population, especially after he was fired and ostracized, made it seem like suicide would be more enjoyable than the lives they had. Everything was sun-baked, flies were buzzing everywhere, and nobody seemed comfortable. The only moments that anyone seemed to actually enjoy were the moments the sun was rising and when it was setting, because for those brief moments you could forget about your life and just absorb the idea of life without people and the awful things they could do to one another.


Wolfman Moon Scale


Official Site
IMDb
Netflix
Amazon DVD

Filed under 5 Stars, Non-Horror Film Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Social Network (2010)

February 20, 2011 2 Comments



David Fincher, director of incredible films such as Zodiac, Fight Club, and Se7en, is directing a movie about Facebook. Wait, what the fuck? Is that really what was happening?! I couldn’t have been less excited. Then the trailer came out…yup, sure did look like a movie that David Fincher made about Facebook! I remember getting an email to my campus address back in 2004 for Facebook and signing up for it, of course. When I realized that I couldn’t see things unless I friended people, and that Facebook was exclusive, I deleted it, because that’s fucking stupid. I then wanted to check a few months later and see if my classmate was the girl from Road Rules, so I signed up again, only to find out my profile was still active. What the fuck?! And, well, I guess that’s my history with Facebook.



Who the fuck meets people through the internet? Buncha a weirdos, kids these days!

 

In 2003, the internet was just starting to get more personal, and there were more and more social communities where you could share pictures, interests, and information. At the time, those websites were things like Livejournal, Friendster, and MySpace. They were met with varying success, but it wasn’t until Mark Zuckerberg, played by Jesse Eisenberg, started working on a website that encapsulated all of the things you could find on other websites, but made it exclusive to people attending Harvard. From there, it extended from school to school, one at a time, and grew and grew and grew. The Social Network depicts not only the course of events that happened in the launching of this website, but the legal battles that followed due to conflicts over who owned the intellectual property, the financial aspect, and just the idea in general.



Now featuring twice the amount of cocksuckers, thanks to those rascally Winklevoss twins!

 

Every time I hear something about getting “tagged”, or bullshit about writing on someone’s “wall”, or that fucking Farmville thing, I throw up in my mouth a little bit, and make a mental note to not have a conversation with that person about, well, anything. While watching The Social Network, I completely forgot that this movie was based on the creation of this website. It plays as more of a legal thriller rather than a docu-drama about a website that’s popular. I think this credit belongs to both Aaron Sorkin, the screenwriter, as well as David Fincher. Aaron Sorkin just has this way of writing these casual conversations that make you hang on every word and completely engaged, regardless of the fact that people were conversing about a website. And having Fincher, who typically deals with slightly darker, moodier subject matter, was a wonderful choice in grounding this film to the real world and portraying people who weren’t necessarily the smartest or most likable, but had good ideas and great timing. Every scene plays out as though you have been involved in an interaction like that before, thanks to Sorkin, yet seemed to take place in an alternate reality that had muted colors, lights, and characters that you could never possibly interact with, thanks to Fincher.



PRETENTIOUS FUCKING ASSHOLES IN THEIR GODDAMNED NORTH FACE JACKETS.

 

I’m always blown away by the amount of work David Fincher puts into his films and how much research there is. Just take a glimpse at the trivia page for this movie on IMDb and you’ll begin to see how he controls everything about every actor in every scene, and in a good way. From the fact that he forbade any of the actors from meeting their real life counterparts, to filming a scene with eight pages of dialogue 99 times, to making Eisenberg only wear clothes that had been worn by Zuckerberg, no detail goes unnoticed. Did I mention the fact that there are identical twins in this movie, being portrayed by the same actor? Finding no adequate twin actors, he filmed everything with a stand-in body, and then digitally added the original actor’s face to the double, and he did this almost seamlessly. Not to say that the actor’s didn’t hold their own, but since they were all relatively subtle portrayals of actual people, it’s hard to cite one in particular for their stand out performance. So, looking back on it, yes, David Fincher really did make a movie about Facebook, and it was fucking awesome.


Wolfman Moon Scale


Official Site
IMDb
Netflix
Amazon DVD

Filed under 5 Stars, Non-Horror Film Tagged with , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

← Older posts

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 439 other followers