Guys….this week is gonna be good. I have been waiting for this day all goddamned week. I saw a few things that people had searched for earlier in the week and I even considered jumping the gun. To be honest, I haven’t looked at the search terms since mid-week so I hope there’s even more ridiculousness. Enough with the chatter, let’s get to it.

• boy pooping
• pocahontas porn
• monstererotica – I like how they turned it into one word.
• mia kirshner are you afraid of the dark – Shouldn’t you be asking her that question, rather than The Wolfman?
• halloween nightmare on elm street friday the 13th jason michael myers – I just wonder what the fuck this person was trying to find.
• goth tied
• tremors 5 the thunder from down under – Just checked IMDb, and this isn’t a real movie. Here’s hoping it’s just erotic fan fiction.
• ben affleck hair
• monster chop the girl head of, eat it and poop it out
• piece of weird stupid dumb shit – Yeah, that sounds like something I’d say.
• reaction small dick laugh pinky
• blonde huge boobs highfive in background – I figured “blonde hugh boobs” kind of implies there would be high-fives involved.
• little girl hit peins
• dungaree sex
• girls horny wear adult diapers – I enjoy the juxtaposition of “horny” and “diapers”.
• freddy krueger being dumb
• pizza fuck
• horror boob eaten – As opposed to romantic comedy boob eaten.
• ridiculous pool rafts
• rapist horse
• litel girls in pants – I suppose trying to find litel girls NOT in pants would be worse, so I’m not too creeped out.
• wolf man fuck a girl
• shooter movie girl showing her nipples – It sounds like someone had seen this movie and actually remembered it well enough to Google this scene. Nice work, Marky Mark!
• butts in texas – This is a shining example of how no matter what I type next to the search term, nothing will make it funnier than the term itself.
• rake face
• horney deamons – What are you, British or something?
• biting a fake cock off in movie – But how do you know it’s fake?!
• butthole closeup
• canoodling
• sacrifice bondage cock knife
• how do i watch hellraiser on my laptop – With your damned eyes, ya dummy!
• jessica alba’s ass in fantastic four
• megan fox and tigers
• shoving witch – Rather than casting spells, she just goes around shoving people. What a bitch.
• bandana dude
• naked women climbing stairs – Is there some fetish involving stairs and naked ladies that I don’t know about? Seems like those positions wouldn’t be too flattering.
• freaks of nature penis
• heavy beard
• woman’s taint – Wait…….they have those?
• german nurses hanging – Just hanging…just German…no big deal.
• strobo poop
• all the shit i seem to take
• mom shows boobs in front of children
• man rotating spit
• bill cosby beats up midget – …..no comment.
• diora baird cleavage – Typing in “Diora Baird filmography” might have been more helpful.
• psycho who kidnaps women and strip them naked movie – That would be the movie “Junior”.
• goth penis – So it’s covered in eyeliner?
• pooping guy
• johnny depp thinks he’s ugly
• shit all over
• thor movie naked
• ass she baby
• ugly little girls
• jessica alba boops – To be fair, she has the sexiest of boops.
• does a male cats penis have spikes? – Dear God, I hope not.

Well there you have it, another week, another slew of crazy people looking for crazy things on the internet. I think I’ve mentioned before that I’ll sometimes try to decipher how people came to my website after seeing what they’ve searched for, and more and more I’m finding that just Googling some of these terms results in my job blocking the search results. I’m just doing research, I swear!