Trailer Review for The Avengers

Whoa boy! Iron Man 3 sure does look exciting! Wait, this isn’t Iron Man 3? Could have fooled me! The biggest thing that I was worried about, and I’m sure other people were worried about, is the amount of characters and shit going on that it would be all over the place, and it kind of looks like that’s true. It makes sense that Iron Man would be the one to intentionally assemble all of these characters, but with the amount of heavy-hitters on the team, I hope he doesn’t get all of the attention. For the ill-informed, this team will include Iron Man/Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.), Captain America/Steve Rogers (Chris Evans), Thor/still Thor (Chris Hemsworth), the Hulk/Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo), Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson), Black Widow/Natasha Romanoff (Scarlett Johansson), and Hawkeye/Clint Barton (Jeremy Renner). Those last three people? Yeah, they don’t have any superpowers, which means I highly doubt they will play major roles in the movie, since a lot of people still probably don’t quite know why they’re on the team. If they go into everyone’s backstory, that will take up a good amount of the film, and once that’s done, you still have these huge characters trying to grab time in front of the camera, and even I’m getting overwhelmed thinking about it. If you remove all of the shots of characters just kind of looking at one another, you are really only left with a shitload of cars exploding. I guess it looks fun, but considering this was really just an excuse to show off all of these pretty people in funny costumes and remind you that this movie WILL be coming out in five months, I’m not too impressed. Even if the next trailer is shitty, I’ll be seeing this opening day, because I’m a sucker for this stuff. Oh yeah, and Scarlett Johansson will probably wear lots of leather. Cool!

3 responses to “Trailer Review for The Avengers

  1. i’m torn about this…to me, it’s just an “acceptable” version of Sucker Punch — a ridiculously overloaded mess of fanboy wish-fulfillment, except with the nerd cred of the avengers back-story making it legit. i’ll be really surprised if they can hold it together…but i’m rooting for it because i like scarjo in leather and jeremy renner was the shit in s.w.a.t. i mean the hurt locker.

    does this mean i have to catch up on all of these marvel movies now? i’ve only seen iron man 1, and like half of the newest hulk when it was on cable.

    • My initial reaction is to be upset by you comparing this to Sucker Punch, but I can see where you’re coming from. Big difference is that I don’t think anyone wanted to see what was in Sucker Punch, let alone that much of all of that stuff. You have two options as far as making up for what you’ve missed; you can either read the reviews I’ve posted by searching the blog, or just read the following one sentence recaps.

      Thor – Shitty blonde beard muscle-man realizes there’s more to life than boning Natalie Portman, such as kicking the shit out of his own brother with a gnarly hammer.
      Hulk – Guy gets mad and freaks out, and no other plot points are relevant because if they were, they wouldn’t have to keep casting new actors.
      Captain America – Scrawny guy with big head loves to get the shit kicked out of him, and turns into a guy with a much better muscle-to-head ratio, then kicks the shit out of Nazis.
      Hawkeye – Shoots a bow and arrow, but since it’s Jeremy Renner, he somehow manages to make it look badass.
      Black Widow – Titty ballerina assassin with a terrible dye job.

      Let me know if you have any further questions.

      • hahahaha that was very helpful.

        for the record, i didn’t imply this would be as bad as sucker punch. just that it reminded me of it, in terms of sheer density. i wouldn’t touch sucker punch with a ten foot pole, not even out of curiousity, where as i almost definitely will see the avengers.

        there’s a guy who uses the library at the school where i work who looks like thor’s hippie cousin or something. he’s got long blonde hair and a blonde beard, but he is always wearing a denim jacket and baggy board shorts. i thought you should know this.

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