My first Halloween Horror Nights was in 2014, where I attended just as a lowly “guest.” I had to wait in lines, prioritizing which houses were worth waiting in line for and which I opted to skip. All these years later, I have a number of Horror Nights under my belt, and since I don’t have to suffer through the miserable experience of “lines,” I’m happy to offer insight into Universal Orlando Resort’s Halloween Horror Nights to help you plan which houses are worth hitting. I know what you’re saying: “Wolfman, you didn’t have to wait in lines, you suck!” and it’s hard to disagree with you. However, by not having the anticipation of a house being built into the experience, I can give more authentic input on how the houses stack up to one another.

Without further ado, here’s how this year’s Halloween Horror Nights houses stack up to one another.

10) Fallout

While not a “bad” house by any stretch of the imagination, one house always has to land at the bottom of any ranking.

Having never played the Fallout video games (because I am not a dork), my only point of reference for the franchise was the TV show. In this sense, the Fallout house brings guests through the events of the entire first season. The major issue with the house, though, is that while the series is set in an apocalyptic wasteland, it’s not inherently scary; the jumps are non-scary characters popping up to say lines from the show. Fans of the series (and probably the game?) might appreciate getting to see the beloved property being brought to life, but if you have no affinity for the game or just want to be scared in a house, Fallout ain’t for you.

9) Five Nights at Freddy’s

Up until about a week ago, I knew absolutely nothing about Five Nights at Freddy’s. To prepare for Halloween Horror Nights, I watched the movie, and wondered if custody battles were as important to the game as they were to the movie.

That being said, the Five Nights at Freddy’s house starts in a really cool way, as we see the life-sized animatronics made famous by the series glitching out while performing “Talking in Your Sleep” by The Romantics. From there, though, virtually all of the scares are orchestrated around a static animatronic being illuminated by strobe lights and accompanied with loud noises. That’s about it. Some of the animatronics have slight movements to them, but with Halloween Horror Nights haunted houses often featuring scareactors (combo of “scary” and “actors”) popping out and interacting with you, the nature of Five Nights at Freddy’s denies the guest these up-close encounters.

Much like Fallout, fans of Five Nights at Freddy’s will surely love getting to see iconic monsters brought to life in full scale, but others will be left wanting a bit more terror.

8) Dolls: Let’s Play Dead

Lots of people are scared of dolls — I’m not, because I am very brave and cool.

It seems as though the impetus for this house was, “How can we do a house that takes advantage of people being afraid of dolls?” and this is what they came up with. The premise is that you’ve been shrunken down to the size of a twisted girl’s dolls as you walk past all of the figures she has disfigured and destroyed.

The result is you get to see lots of weird and inventive dolls, whether they were melted or chopped up or reattached in bizarre ways. Other than the inventive destruction of these dolls, though, there’s not much more to offer. Guests who are inherently terrified of dolls might appreciate this house more, and given the limitations of “how can we do a house with dolls?” this feels like the most effective version of that premise.

7) El Artista: A Spanish Haunting

The premise of El Artista is that a tortured artist moves to a remote mansion to focus on his art, only for his twisted artwork to come to life to haunt him.

Even though this house might be considered “low” on the overall ranking, there’s still a lot to appreciate about it, which serves more as a reflection of the overall craft that goes into all of these houses. As you round every corner of this house, you’ll find new and unexpected things that catch your eye, with El Artista having new and unexpected opportunities to keep audiences on their toes, from the floor to ground-level to things up in the air.

El Artista might also be one of the houses we’d most like to get to explore in the daytime, just to be able to appreciate the artistry involved in the environment.

6) Jason Universe

Given the legal entanglements of Jason Voorhees and the Friday the 13th franchise over the last decade, getting anything new in the franchise will be enough to excite fans. As far as the effectiveness of Jason Universe, unless you’re freaked out by the mere visage of Jason, this house might leave you wanting.

As implied by the name, this house takes you through various cabins and campgrounds and environments related to Camp Crystal Lake, all while various forms of Jason pop out to scare you. Luckily, while much of the house feels redundant and repetitive, it culminates in an overwhelming crescendo at the house’s end, which really leans into the title of “Jason Universe.” Still, given that Halloween Horror Nights has delivered houses that are very much inspired by killers at a campground, this isn’t the most ambitious house, but getting any new Jason content bodes well for the franchise’s future.

5) The Horrors of The Wyatt Sicks

When I heard there would be a house inspired by the WWE, I was quick to roll my eyes. Then I watched the documentary Bray Wyatt: Becoming Immortal on the plane down to Horror Nights, and something different happened to my eyes — this weird, clear liquid started to come out of them.

Anyone unfamiliar with the overall narrative surrounding Bray Wyatt and the Wyatt Sicks, the best I can do is compare it to the weird, culty stuff from True Detective Season 1 — backwoods, bayou freaks who believe in bizarre and otherworldly figures. What makes the Wyatt Sicks house interesting is that, much like how Bray Wyatt’s storyline in the WWE stretched out over years, this house similarly chronicled that performer’s trajectory with the character. It wasn’t just that the house was inspired by the lore of the character, but we even walked through the backstage area of WWE Monday Night Raw, adding new elements to the house’s narrative.

Even on its own, the house delivers creepy, culty vibes inspired by backwoods weirdos, and for those more familiar with Bray Wyatt and his years-long lore, there’s even more to appreciate in the house,

4) Terrifier

Having seen the first two Terrifier movies, I am happy to reiterate how the first two Terrifier movies are awful. Much like the Wyatt Sicks, when I heard there would be a Terrifier house, I was disappointed that a franchise by and for edgelords was getting honored with a haunted house. Now having been through the Terrifier house, I can confirm that it’s one of the most gnarly, gruesome, and demented houses Halloween Horror Nights has ever seen.

All you really need to know about the Terrifier house is that Art the Clown is a nasty freak who kills people in incredibly violent ways. The house itself replicates some memorable scenes and moments from all three Terrifier movies, while also delivering some all-new environments. The house itself is really an assault on the senses, as we not only see absolutely repulsive vignettes, but one of these vignettes heavily relies on doodoo, which Universal Orlando has honored by making this area stinky. Additionally, the end of the house features the choice of either letting guests leave through a “Dry Path” or a “Blood Bath,” as the latter has a stretch of hallway with “blood” raining down on you. There’s not much to be gained by going through the Blood Bath, but if you want to show off how you’re a sicko, I suppose that’s the path you want.

Given how many Halloween Horror Nights houses have implied all manner of gruesome things, it only makes sense that the Terrifier house delivers some of the absolutely nastiest stuff the yearly event has ever showcased.

3) Hatchet and Chains: Demon Bounty Hunters

From what I’ve seen from other folks, Hatchet and Chains wasn’t the most obvious pick for a top-three haunted house at Halloween Horror Nights. I wouldn’t fault anyone who didn’t really dig the house, but given the redundant and repetitive nature of the horror genre as a whole, I couldn’t help but by excited by a Western-themed house overrun with ghouls.

Hatchet and Chains was first teased in last year’s Slaughter Sinema 2, in which we learned Hatchet and Chains were two demonic bounty hunters, tasked with capturing more demons more evil than they are. Even though the actual premise might not sound inherently effective, just the fact that fans get to walk through a Western village punctuated by ghoulish, dusty beasts and demon horses makes Hatchet and Chains feel entirely original. Even the designs of the various demons feel entirely different from anything else being offered at Halloween Horror Nights this year, so for fans looking for something entirely fresh, Hatchet and Chains delivers something satisfying, ambitious, and inventive.

2) Grave of Flesh

Much like Hatchet and Chains, Grave of Flesh is another haunted house I’ve seen getting mixed reactions from fans attending this year’s Halloween Horror Nights, but this is my list and I say it rocks so you can all shut up.

The house starts with your own burial, and as you progress through the house, you sink even further into the dirt. You’re startled by subterranean monsters, and as you progress further, you descend even deeper into the terrifying environment. Just as you start to get desensitized to the zombified monsters, guests transcend into another realm that offers a more surrealistic take on death, feeling akin to something out of the Hellraiser franchise.

Grave of the Flesh starts in a place of delivering expected, undead monsters, and just progresses into something much more bizarre and unexpected. Between the surrealistic elements of the back half of the maze and the pace of the transition from grave to other dimensions, Grave of Flesh feels like an unrelenting, horrifying experience of what happens when you die.

1) Gálkn: Monsters of the North

Anyone who knows me likely won’t be surprised to find out that Gálkn: Monsters of the North scores the top spot at this year’s Halloween Horror Nights.

Gálkn borrows elements from other recent fan-favorite houses like Blood Moon: Dark Offerings and Dead Man’s Pier: Winter’s Wake, as it features a remote northern village being overrun by demons and monsters from an ancient cult. The overall tone of the house feels like a blend of Midsommar and David Bruckner’s The Ritual, as guests wander through pine trees and primitive cabins and burning pires, all of which crescendo in a reveal of the massive monster all of this chaos is a tribute to.

From the moment I heard the description of Gálkn, I had a feeling it would be my favorite house of the event, and I’m happy to confirm it did not disappoint.