I can’t quite put my finger on exactly why, but I’ve long held this belief, “Isn’t Rose Byrne awesome?” I don’t think it was until movies like Sunshine, X-Men: First Class, Insidious, or Neighbors that I became significantly aware of her, though any time she shows up in something, I can’t help but think, “Damn, she rocks.” (Admittedly, it could be the after effects of first seeing Byrne as one of Padmé Amidala’s decoys in the opening of Star Wars: Attack of the Clones.) Yes, I know Bridesmaids is where most people know her from, but I missed that one for a few years, so lay off. Point is, I’m always happy to see Byrne pop up somewhere, and with If I Had Legs I’d Kick You, I was given something I’ve been dreading for years: a movie where Byrne is stressed out, anxious, and panicked for an entire movie.

Linda (Byrne) is a mother just trying to do her best, despite her husband Charles (Christian Slater) being out of town for two months as she tries to navigate her daughter’s chronic illness. As if this isn’t a stressful enough situation, the ceiling of their apartment caves in, forcing Linda and her daughter to move into a seedy motel. Over the course of a few weeks, Linda has to maintain the health of her child without the necessary resources while also dealing with her career as a therapist, ultimately being subjected to one mental or logistical torment after another, from clients walking out of her sessions and leaving valuables behind to buying a hamster to try to make her daughter happy to parking attendants reprimanding her double-parking her car while dropping her daughter off at the hospital. Rather than being the exploration of one major point of friction, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You instead highlights how the sum total of stressors of all sizes can feel like the whole world is out to destroy you.

If anyone has any doubts about Byrne, possibly only knowing her for her more lighthearted affair, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You confirms that she’s phenomenal. Part of what makes her so phenomenal is thanks to writer/director Mary Bronstein‘s development and depiction of Linda. The opening scenes deliver us almost everything we need to know about Linda — she feels alone, she’s trying her best, she loves her daughter, she tries to find the positive in every disastrous situation, and ultimately she feels an oppressive weight at the mere concept of living her life. When a hole opens up in her ceiling, dumping hundreds of gallons of water in her bedroom, this is the catalyst for some of the (hopefully) worst moments of Linda’s life.

Every scene, no matter what line Byrne is delivering, we can feel the stress and tension she’s trying to power through. Whether it be making light of dropping a pizza and knocking all the cheese off of it, trying to wrangle a newly acquired hamster, or offering emotional support for her own clients, Byrne conveys every ounce of frustration Linda experiences in both overt and subtle ways. The most innocuous lines of dialogue are delivered with the requisite disdain towards those standing in her way, while other lines barely disguise her desperation. Even though she’s our protagonist, Byrne and Bronstein don’t attempt to make Linda the “hero” — she’s flawed, makes bad decisions, and regularly loses her cool with those undeserving of her animosity.

This might come as a shock to you all, but I am not now nor have I ever been a mother. The very specific struggles that Linda faces are ones I’ve never personally had to encounter, yet Bronstein manages to use these specifics to convey a viscerally unsettling and panic-inducing movie. The tension and discomfort of virtually every character is palpable, and while the story isn’t overtly horrifying, it absolutely feels like a horror movie. Art is meant to evoke emotions in those who witness it, and in that sense, If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is one of the most effective pieces of art of 2025. It’s understandably drawing comparisons to things like Uncut Gems, mother!, We Need to Talk About Kevin, and The Babadook, and rightfully so.

While the movie is undeniably effective, it’s something that’s hard to recommend to, well, anyone. As someone who struggles with their own anxiety and panic attacks, watching someone else struggle through these same challenges made me want to leave the movie just to walk around for a little while. I was brave and stayed through the whole thing, but consider this a trigger warning in case you don’t handle movies that subject their main characters to endless amounts of stress.

The specific health struggle Linda’s daughter is experiencing means she has a tube inserted into her stomach so sustenance can be pumped into her. The inciting event of If I Had Legs I’d Kick You is about a massive hole opening in Linda’s ceiling. Some might say that there are parallels between the black hole in Linda’s ceiling and the black hole in her daughter’s stomach. This is one place where the movie overextends its grasp, however, as there are multiple sequences in which the movie gets a bit more surreal and psychedelic. I’m a big fan of movies that use magical realism, though the elements explored in these sequences felt a bit too disjointed and nebulous for me to really grasp what was going on. Had these bits been excised completely or had we been given a bit more specificity about these things, I think the movie could have been more effective, but I didn’t make this movie, so who am I to say what is good or what is bad!?

If I Had Legs I’d Kick You won’t be for everyone, and that’s probably a good thing. It’s nightmarish in its depictions of the daily struggles faced not only by mothers each and every day, but by virtually everyone who has been in the mental state Linda finds herself in. Given how visceral the stress is, the movie isn’t for the faint of heart, but if you’re like me and you’re a Byrner, you’ll appreciate seeing her go above and beyond all expectations.

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