To even try to review and explain everything that has gone on during this show over the past six years would be completely insane and, believe it or not, I am not the individual to do it. However, I dedicated a lot of time to not only watching the show, but also researching, theorizing, and discussing all the concepts that took place over that whole time. I would feel kind of unfulfilled if I didn’t finally get my thoughts about the whole series to share with others, and I predict lots of nonsense and rambling in the paragraphs to come.

 

Dr. Jack, helping fat people left and right.

The first thing I ever remember about this show was an image in a magazine, possibly Entertainment Weekly, of Matthew Fox sans beard standing on a beach with a plane on fire in the background, and the article was about a show called “Lost” that got a lot of viewers. I knew that this show existed, but that was pretty much it. I had heard it being talked about, but it sounded like “blah blah LOST blah blah ISLAND blah blah”. I had signed up for Netflix shortly before this, and randomly put the first season on my queue. I got the first disc, put it in, and after the pilot episode, I was hooked. I have yet to meet someone who said they watched the very first episode and was not at all curious as to what would happen in the next episode. I know people who have tried watching it at other points in the series, but no one I know has watched that first episode without watching the second, then third, then fourth, and so on. It was some of the most engaging, entertaining, confusing, and mysterious pieces of television, or any other medium for that matter, that I have ever enjoyed. Why are they on this island? Why can that bald guy walk again? Who are the Others? Why do they want Claire? Why is there a polar bear on the island? And the biggest question of them all: WHAT THE FUCK IS IN THAT HATCH?! Entertaining start to finish, I watched this season three or four times, and I want to watch it again.

 

This pretty much sums up the whole show, in case you’ve never seen it.

And then as hard and unbelievable as it was, they managed to top the first season with the second season. Who is this Desmond character? What’s that timer all about? What’s the smoke monster? AND WHAT IN THE GODDAMNED FUCK IS THE DHARMA INITIATIVE?! Seriously, all that Dharma stuff was so insanely awesome. Why did they put the guy down there, why 108 minutes, how many stations did they have, how long have they been there, all so intriguing and mind-melting. I can admit, I didn’t really care about the “Other 48”, which was the name given to 48 survivors who landed on a different part of the island and were introduced to in this season. Obviously their stories had to be told, and Bernard was reunited with Rose, but Ana Lucia can suck a fat one. I think Charlie also kind of turned into a psycho in this season, which sucked because I liked Charlie, but the introduction or Mr. Eko was pretty cool. And then they blow shit up and make you think everyone’s dead in the season finale.

 

Apparently, the original name of the “Poopy Initiative” didn’t look as badass in the logo.

Season three…ugh. If only you could have heard the sounds my keyboard made just typing out “season three”. This is where Lost is kind of like pizza. Pizza can be incredible and tasty, but sometimes, pizza is not tasty or incredible. But at the end of the day, it’s still pizza, which is a good thing. So season three was like a bad piece of pizza. Not that great, but still better than a lot of other things out there. I can’t really remember what happens, other than we learn more about the “Others” and Ben and there are cages and there are two islands and Kate and Sawyer do each other. However, and this is a big however, the season finale provided some of the best moments from the entire series of Lost. First is just the image of Jack with a big fake beard getting all aggro driving in his Bronco listening to “Gouge Away” by The Pixies. Second is Charlie sacrificing himself to help others, and the now all-too-famous shot of his hand with “NOT PENNY’S BOAT” written on it. Third was more of a scene that messed the viewers minds completely, as we had gotten so used to seeing flashbacks in all of the episodes that when we saw Jack’s aggro-beard, we had assumed it was the past. At the end of the episode, Kate steps out from the shadows in this “flash forward” and Jack starts screaming about having to go back to the island. WHOA. Not only do we find out that at least two people finally get off the island, but that Jack is now bonkers and wants to go back?! Pretty heavy stuff. Almost makes up for the previous 21 episodes.

 

HAHAHAHAHAHA LOOK AT THAT FUCKING BEARD.

In season four we learned that some people made it off the island, as well as some people came back to the island. We learn who makes it off and why the people who have come to the island are there, but it’s still kind of confusing. I honestly can’t really remember what happens in this season, other than the people who got off end up back on the island, and there’s time traveling, and Sawyer shaved his beard, and, well I don’t know. Season five was another season where there was a lot of time traveling and living in the 70’s and general confusion about who is on the island and what time they live in and stuff like that. Entertaining, yes, easy to explain in a blog, no. Season six got a lot more spiritual and metaphysical, as we started something called a “flash sideways”, which was some sort of alternate reality where the characters never landed on the island and just made it home safely. We also realized the origins of some recurring, seemingly ageless characters, some history of the island, and the eventual fate of our cast.

 

John Locke‘s biggest weakness was scurvy.

Love it or hate it, you have to be impressed by J.J. Abrams, Damon Lindelof, and Carlton Cuse, the creative team behind the show. They managed to confuse and surprise and terrify and piss off millions of people. Keep in mind, they have gone on record saying they originally wanted this series to last 12 episodes. THEY PLANNED ON ENDING THIS SHOW AFTER 12 EPISODES. For the people who say they were making it up as they went along, they were kind of right. Not to say they were flying by the seats of their pants, but they probably had no idea they were going to have to write an additional 80+ episodes and maybe there were some confusing or contradictory points on the show.

 

Clean your fingernails, kids. Otherwise your friend will write you messages on his hand and then he will drown.

I look back on the entire show and see it in two parts. Maybe two and a half parts, depending on how you look at it. The first two seasons, when it was presumed that the show would end without warning, was about the Dharma Initiative. Who they were, what they were doing, how they were doing it, were they part of the Illuminati, do they control how often Sawyer takes his shirt off, and so on. Season 3 was the realization that this show was in it for the long haul, and they spent the entire season switching gears and setting up the second part of the series, which was seasons 4 through 6. This was a more spiritual and faith based concept, the difference between good and evil, relativity, pushing the limits of human morality, and concepts like that.

 

If there is an attack move more efficient than a jumping through the air punch, I don’t wanna know about it.

People don’t seem to understand these two large thematic differences in the show, and just want to complain about not getting the answers they wanted. I personally enjoyed the Dharma portion of the show more than the other portion, and am almost happier that they never explained everything about Dharma. I did also enjoy the other seasons of the show, but didn’t lose much sleep over what was going on and why it was happening. The way they chose to end the show made perfect sense, and I really feel as though season 4-6 could have stood on their own as a series of it’s own. I’m also glad they left so many questions related to Dharma completely unanswered, or questions about the island in general unanswered, because the more you explain about these mysteries the less fun they are to think about. I spent almost five years of my life thinking about this show, and am glad that I can continue having so many positive thoughts and memories about it for years to come.

 

Wolfman Moon Scale

All Lost Questions Finally Answered Here!