I wish I had a better memory sometimes, because then I would be able to talk about why this movie made its way into my Netflix queue. To be completely honest? I just don’t remember how, but then it showed up and I saw what it was about, and wondered if maybe that’s why it made its way on the list. It’s about strippers. And zombies. Two things that I generally enjoy. But even still, I had difficulty finding the time to actually watch this movie. It reminded me of a movie I bought without having heard anything about called “Die You Zombie Bastards!“. I mean, come on! How could a movie like that possibly be anything less than what I anticipated! Well, DYZB! sucked and for the most part, so did Z! Z! Z! Maybe that’s the problem, using exclamation points in the title. If anyone can point me in the direction of a movie with exclamation points in the title that isn’t a pile of shit, make sure to let me know.

SPOILER ALERT: These three strippers make it out alive. You’re pissed, I can tell.

There’s a doctor in a lab who is working on regenerating cells in rats who is interrupted by someone he knows looking for drugs. When the doctor looks the other way, the drug fiend steals a bunch of drugs, thinking that it’s crack, and leaves. He starts doing the drugs with a hooker and they both turn to zombies. The hooker likes hanging out near a strip club, so that’s how we end up with this movie involving zombies and strippers. It’s a bunch of strippers and a pimp and they are pretty much trapped inside. One guy manages to make it to the laboratory and finds the cure for whatever is going on, but rather than taking it back with him, he accidentally injects himself with it. WHOOPS! They make it back to the strip club, but the guy who injected himself with the cure gets bitten, which, surprisingly, causes the zombie that bites him to explode. Having discovered that his blood is now the cure, there are scenes of this guy allowing zombies to bite him in order to kill them. Eventually all of the zombies die and the strippers leave to go do meth and beat their children, or whatever it is that strippers do in their spare time.

Since the virus was green, the cure needed to be pink! OPPOSITES YAY!!!

Clearly this movie is a piece of shit. You can tell from reading the title alone that it will be awful. Expecting something good to come from watching this movie is a giant waste of time. HOWEVER, the last 20 minutes of this movie were somewhat enjoyable, or at least more enjoyable than everything that preceded it. One reason is that the effects at the end suddenly got a LOT better. Not that they were mind-blowing or anything like that, but they were gory enough and realistic enough that it was a striking contrast compared to the rest of the movie. Also, the idea of someone becoming the cure was pretty interesting and I can’t think of another zombie movie that had a similar cure. Not that we haven’t seen movies where the fate of humanity rests squarely on one set of shoulders, but I’ve never actually seen someone sacrifice themselves because their biology is what kills zombies. It’s weird how this movie was released the same year as Zombie Strippers, and the major difference being budget. Zombie Strippers is mildly entertaining and is almost the same exact premise, and I wish that they could have taken some of the ideas from Z! Z! Z! and just incorporated them into the budget of Zombie Strippers and killed two birds with one stone. Only drawback to that is you wouldn’t have the same amount of boobs being shown. There’s always gotta be a catch though, am I right?!

Wolfman Moon Scale