Ryan Reynolds….in a box….for an hour and a half?! Oh no! What’s ScarJo gonna do?! Oh, they broke up, nevermind. She’s all mine! Hahahaha! Stay in that box you dummy idiot! No but seriously, I never saw this movie in theaters, despite wanting to, but someone else wasn’t interested…YEAH I MEAN YOU, RAMPAIGE. But I finally strapped her down long enough to watch it and then left her there. As a warning, there are going to be some spoilers, so if you had anticipated wanting to see this movie for the twists and turns, I’m probably going to ruin them for you.

Good idea, burn up all your oxygen. Do you know how fire works, Ryan Reynolds?!

Ryan Reynolds wakes up in a coffin as a cell phone is ringing. He is a truck driver in Iraq whose convoy was ambushed. Apparently everyone else was killed, but he was just tossed into a box. He tries contacting anyone he can for help back in the U.S. but to no avail. His kidnapper contacts him and tells him he will be released if they can get five million dollars. This then gets downgraded to one million if he also makes a video and sends it to YouTube to let the American people know he is down there. Then a snake gets into his coffin and he sets it on fire! Oh no! Good idea! The coffin starts collapsing as time is running out when he gets a call from a contact in Iraq saying they found his location and are on their way. The box is filling and filling with sand and in the last few moments we hear the people on the phone digging up the coffin and then just as they take the top off, they find out they were sent to the wrong coffin. Ryan Reynolds is doomed, and more importantly, dead.

Kind of expected U2 to bust through the coffin and start singing a song about the power of Blackberry’s. Never happened. Maybe in Buried 2!

Yes, this film spends the entire time in a box in the ground and the only actor you see is Ryan Reynolds. I would assume that if you hate him, you would hate this movie. As someone who enjoys him, even then I got a little annoyed. It was an ambitious film, and even if you end up not hating him by the end, I’d say that’s a job well done. The part with the snake was a little weird, or, dumb you could say, but I guess it broke up the monotony. The political subtext wasn’t too annoying, as they used situations similar to what you might hear of in the news, so it didn’t feel like a political film at all. The ending was depressing, and were it to have not ended that way, I might not have liked it as much. So good for them for killing Ryan Reynolds right when he is at his most hopeful! Yay!

Wolfman Moon Scale