Strange nonsensical juxtaposition with the title of this post, I know, but I just wanted to combine “mini” and “mega” because alliteration is fun. Remember last week when I gave those quick reviews for The Spirit and Dylan Dog? Well, I’m in a similar situation. It’s not that I necessarily have things to review that I hated or anything like that, just that I didn’t really have too many thoughts on the things I watched/read in the past week. I don’t want to devote one whole post to a half-assed review, but don’t want you guys thinking I’ve just been sitting on my ass eating cookies and brownies all week. Did I just inadvertently let you guys know that I’ve just been eating cookies and brownies all week? Whoops! Also, if anyone can think of a clever name for these short little reviews, let me know so I can feel like I have permission to do them more often.

Profondo Rosso (Deep Red)

I can’t believe that a whole bunch of months ago I claimed Dario Argento was one of my favorite directors (which I’m not changing, by the way) despite having really only seen a few of his films. Realizing what a cock was for doing that, I decided to check this one out. I think I’ve mentioned before that “giallo” films aren’t really my thing, and I prefer Argento’s more supernatural stuff. Well, Deep Red is giallo, so there’s already a limit to how much I can like it. I did like the look of the entire movie and the way all of the locations appeared, but other than that, it just really wasn’t for me. Another thing I noticed after this movie was how awesome the music in all of Argento’s movies is. Obviously music plays a strong part, and you might be aware of the music as it’s being played, but when the credits start to roll and you hear the main theme of the movie being played, it really reminds you of just how awesome the musical choices were.

Inferno

I went into this one with higher expectations than Deep Red, considering this is part of the “Mother Trilogy” that Argento made, with the first of that trilogy being Suspiria. This film also took the idea of witches existing, and seemed to combine it with some more giallo aspects that made you curious about who the murderer was. The whole tone of the film had a kind of adventure feeling to it, which sounds weird, but that’s the best way of describing it. It seemed like the characters were on a quest to get to the bottom of a legend, and some of the characters died along the way. It was this style, and it’s resemblance to a fairy tale, that made me enjoy this more than Deep Red, but I still only kind of remember what the fuck happened in it.

Detective Comics #1

I was excited for this issue to come out for a while because right after they announced its release, an image from the artist Jock appeared online, which was terrifying, and I thought it was going to be for this. Turns out that it was an image for an issue that was released months ago and I was pissed. I’ve been reading “Batman” since issue #666, which is almost four years, but only read “Detective Comics” for a few months but neither of them really stood out to me. It was so far into the title that there were tons of characters I didn’t know, and the villains that I did know had become such well-established characters that I felt like I was missing something. I enjoyed this first issue, which focused on Batman hunting down the Joker, and locking him up. I think my issue with the more recent incarnations of Joker is that he was becoming more and more and more insane, to the point that he seemed so far removed from reality that he appeared to function in some other realm of existence. Not saying that there’s anything wrong with that, because obviously every issue that came out had to delve further and further into his insanity, that it was refreshing to see him reverted back to a more comprehensible level of madness.

Swamp Thing #1

I think the only Swamp Thing I ever read was the first trade paperback of Alan Moore stuff, and I remember liking it. It felt like a horror comic, but not something violent or gross, but rather a more gothic type of horror, more similar to Edgar Allan Poe or H.P. Lovecraft. That’s what I was looking for with this new series, and it looks like that’s where it’s headed. Between dead birds falling from the sky to fish dying en masse to a force that causes humans heads to turn around backwards, yet keep them alive, it seems like this story is going places creepy. I like that.

Green Arrow #1

FUCK THIS. I already mentioned how hesitant I was about this series, considering they were making Oliver Queen young and in body armor, but I didn’t quite now how bad it would be. I really have no idea where they were going with this, and wherever it is, I don’t want to go there. We know that Ollie had help from people along the way, but in this new, hip Green Arrow, he has two computer pals that he keeps radio contact with, and can turn on thermal vision to track bad guys. It didn’t even take a full 5 pages for one of his young computer friends to make a comment about fucking YouTube. Seriously? We got to see a few of the trick arrows in his arsenal, including one he could shoot into the controls of anything that would allow his computer friends to be able to remotely control whatever that thing might be. I’d much rather the boxing glove arrow. He also had some weird frisbee looking disk weapons that he used, which were, well, fucking stupid. Luckily my pals at Chicago Comics had a deal that any of the new #1’s that people didn’t like could be returned, so I swapped Green Arrow for the newest issue of Fear Itself.

That’ll do it, folks. Hopefully you aren’t mad at me for giving short reviews, but, well, fuck you if you have a problem with it. I don’t anticipate there being too much activity from me this week as far as reviews go because I just started watching Breaking Bad and I’ll probably choose to watch that over the shitty Netflix movies I get. Even if I do watch a movie, it’s probably going to be Munich because I fucking forgot I added that to my queue and it got to my house and now I’m pissed. Why do I want to watch that? Goddammit.