Holy shit, they made a third Hostel?! What is Eli Roth THINKING?! Oh, he’s not directing this one, nor did he write it, nor did he get involved with it in any way, shape or form. Maybe he is involved in some minute way, but I’m going to pretend he wasn’t. I enjoyed the first two films to varying degrees, and didn’t even consider watching this one until I saw a review saying it was mildly entertaining. I believe that review claimed it would be fun to watch with a group of friends, so I watched it with Rampaige, who kept telling me it was stupid and to turn it off. I can’t just turn it off! I got it on Netflix! To turn it off would be like throwing money down the toilet! But, in retrospect, I probably should have never rented it in the first place.

Death by computer-generated cockroaches?! NOOOOOO!!!!!!

An American walks into a room where he is confronted by an Eastern European couple who start getting frisky in front of him. We have learned from previous Hostel films that Eastern Europeans are bad, so we get nervous for the American. The tables are turned when we learn that the American is the dangerous one, drugging the couple and taking them to an underground las Vegas lair. We jump to a group of friends going to Las Vegas who are there for a bachelor party, and every single member of this group of friends is more irritating than the last. One friend is taken captive to be tortured by the Elite Hunting group and to give this movie its Las Vegas twist, we see this friend being tortured while people are making wagers on method of execution, how long he’ll take to die, and how he tries to barter for his life. While the rest of his friends to try track him down, they also end up part of the captives of Elite Hunting and we then learn the whole thing was set up by one of the friends who is actually a member. The member wants to sleep with the fiancé so he orchestrated everything and has apparently paid to kill this guy. The guy is let loose for the two “friends” to compete, but eventually it’s the member of Elite Hunting that escapes while the building explodes behind him. We see the dickhead friend at home with the now grieving fiancé, who asks if he’ll spend the night. He accepts, but then a horribly burned version of the friend he thought he killed pops up out of nowhere to torture and kill that tricky little asshole. VENGEANCE!

Poor, poor son from Nip/Tuck getting all arrowed to death. He had a self-proclaimed “gimp leg” in the movie, which I kept expecting to be some sort of plot point, but it wasn’t. A guy get hit in the face a few times with his crutch, but it was about as effective as a broom, so I don’t count that as a plot point. Sorry!

Unimaginative kills, unimaginative characters, and a big sense of redundancy are some of the flaws of this movie. I can’t quite give it my worst rating, however, because there were a few moments that did turn out differently than what I anticipated happening. This isn’t to say that those twists and turns weren’t cheesy, because they were, but they were still things I didn’t quite anticipate. I figured the opening scene, with its over-the-top portrayal of an Eastern European stereotype of attractive women and scary men was going to play out exactly the way it would in either of the previous movies, but clearly didn’t. When the shitty friend admitted to being a member of Elite Hunting, I expected to see him use his powers to get his other friends to buy their freedom by killing someone, similarly to how Hostel: Part II ended, and was wrong. And again, despite the cheese factor of the whole thing, the Las Vegas twist of incorporating wagers on the torture of the victims was enough to keep me interested. Other than that, this one was pretty awful and I don’t think it will be fun for anyone to watch, I don’t care how many of your friends you’re with.

Wolfman Moon Scale