The Wicker Tree (2010) [REVIEW]

 

It’s kind of a weird time to make a prequel to The Wicker Man, especially considering how big of a flop the Nicolas Cage starring remake was. I guess having the original writer and director being involved adds a little bit of credit to the purpose of this prequel, but why wait 40 years to do it? And Christopher Lee has a cameo in this one…isn’t he 200 years old by now? How can you have him show up in a prequel and justify how goddamned old he is? Maybe they’ll put him in young person makeup or do something like they did with Jeff Bridges in TRON: Legacy and just put computer over his face. WAIT, THIS MOVIE’S A SEQUEL? FORGET ALL OF THOSE PREVIOUS THOUGHTS I HAD BECAUSE I AM AN IDIOT AND THOUGHT THIS MOVIE WAS A PREQUEL.

 

Lose the dress and put on an animal mask, THEN WE’LL TALK.

A young couple are born again Christians who use their talent and power of music to try to spread the word of how awesome it is to believe in God. You could say that the couple is sexually frustrated, considering they aren’t going to have sex with each other until marriage, despite the fact that the lady used to be a slutty pop singer who must have done tons of people. The couple arrive on an island in Scotland to spread their word, and surprisingly, everyone seems to be getting along pretty well. There are songs and stories being shared between the young couple and the residents of the island who have more Pagan beliefs. There’s an upcoming May Day celebration, which the young couple are asked to play integral parts in, without fully realizing their roles. Once the festivities begin, the guy is cornered and kill. The lady realizes the severity of things and is able to fight back against the leader of the cult, and sets in on fire at the base of a wicker tree that all the members of the community are dancing and singing around. Despite temporarily fending off her attackers, she is eventually turned into plastic or something like that, and we then see one of the residents giving birth to a baby, because before that guy was killed, he was seduced into boning one of the ladies, which is good because that baby is going to be important when it grows up…probably.

 

You might be able to throw your hands up into the hair, but until you have crazy-wild hair like Christopher Lee, you’ll never be as terrifying.

I think you could say that one of the biggest successes of the original film would be the twist ending, which I don’t want to give away in case you haven’t seen it. By the way, if you haven’t seen it, go see it right now. Anyways, the original leads you to believe it’s one type of movie, and then there’s a big change in tone, and it’s weird and bizarre. This meant I was anticipating a twist at the end of this movie, which never really happened. I didn’t mind the tone of this movie being consistent, but I guess I was hoping that SOMETHING interesting would happen to this couple by the end. Unfortunately, that never really happened. There were glimpses of this movie that managed to capture a tone similar to its predecessor, but ultimately it’s a watered down version of a movie I really enjoyed. None of the characters were that engaging or interesting, you didn’t get the same sense of mystery with what the community was up to, and there weren’t nearly as many naked people or mask wearing. Maybe it’s my fault for enjoying the original too much that this shouldn’t have been compared to it and that it would stand as a movie on its own, but this is my website and I can complain about what I want to complain about. Supposedly Christopher Lee was set to reprise his role from the original, but an injury prevented him, only allowing him to appear in some sort of flashback cameo for thirty seconds. Some of the cinematography was good, and as I mentioned, there were glimpses of the peculiarity of the community in the original film, but don’t worry about skipping this one.

 

Wolfman Moon Scale

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