Considering the sequel to this movie, TRON: Legacy, is coming out this Christmas, I couldn’t think of a better time to watch this “cult classic” and pretend like I have been a fan of it since the beginning! Jokes on you, Tron guy! All I have to do is get a beige leotard and draw some blue stripes on it and we will be peers. Take THAT, Tron Guy! Do you guys know who Tron Guy is? Google him, you’ll figure it out. Honestly, the only thing I really knew about this movie before seeing it was that there were “light cycles” and weird outfits. And apparently everyone lost their minds watching it when they first saw it 30 years ago. Also, every time it was on HBO, it was the light cycle scene, so I thought that encompassed the entire movie. Sadly, I was incorrect.

Look like shit? Tell that to people in 1982!

Tron is actually a story about a computer programmer, played by Jeff Bridges, who was fired for having great ideas. He then opens up his own arcade full of games that he programmed for the company that fired him. Apparently another guy who was fired tracked him down so that they could fight the power, similarly to what Malcolm X did, but with funnier outfits. They break into the warehouse where all these videogames were programmed, and that’s when things get crazy. Jeff Bridges sits down to use a computer, and accidentally sits in front of a laser that teleports him into the videogame. BIG MISTAKE. He then has to fight for his life in crazy real-life videogames or risk dying, or disintegrating, or something like that. I’m still confused. After long enough time spent in the computer, Jeff Bridges makes friends, and they find the head of the company living in the computer, or something, and try to kill him. Lebowski wins, escapes the computers, and everyone goes and plays Pac-Man.

I feel like this graphic was taken from an elementary math class slide show entitled “Imagine Line Graphs as Light Cycles, Kids!”

If my synopsis of this movie seems a little odd, maybe confusing, or just completely wrong, you might be correct. The story was kind of insane, and I was mostly distracted by all the bright colors. I felt like I was tripping balls. Everyone involved in this movie had to know how dumb the story was, so I think they really just threw something together to make people afraid of videogames. I mentioned something similar in my review for The Lawnmower Man. At the time this movie was made, people knew videogames existed, but didn’t know how they would change society, so they took the scary aspect of it. Consider this movie a warning that if you play too much videogames, you might BECOME A VIDEOGAME!!! The special effects really were what people enjoyed most about this movie, and they are pretty fun. Even though it isn’t all Avatar-ed out with 3-D effects raping every nerve of your sensory perception, they were kind of silly, but in a good way. If someone went in and added some textures to certain scenes, things would hold up just as well. This still doesn’t mean that the effects made the movie worthwhile, but I am assuming most people love this movie for nostalgic reasons. But come this December, if the new Tron rules, I am going to come back and delete this post.

Wolfman Moon Scale