Okay, you caught me, knowing that this movie was coming out was what caused me to watch the original a couple weeks ago. I knew this movie wasn’t going to be that great, but considering it was what sparked my interest in watching the original, I would look like a huge douchebag if I didn’t give this one a shot. I also remember seeing one of the actresses in this movie saying some not so pleasant things about the filmmakers, and you know how much I love gossip. Oh, this movie was also straight to video, which gives you an idea of what to expect from it.

Behind you, Monica Keena! There is something behind you, apparently!

Similar to the original, Angela, played by Shannon Elizabeth, is throwing a party at a haunted location on Halloween night. Not being the 80’s anymore, this party was more of a giant rave that gets shut down by the cops. Oh no! Luckily, there are a few characters that stick around to try to conjure up some spirits for a spooktacular time. Just like in the original, demons get involved and start killing people. There’s blood, guts, sex, demons, and people dying. Apparently the demons die when they are exposed to sunlight, so the main female character pretends to kill herself, which lures them outside to their doom. But that’s not the end…we see the demons turn into skeletons, but then are stored in the basement, and we see a skeleton open its mouth! THEY’LL BE BACK!

Hey, Shannon Elizabeth, does that taste anything like…AMERICAN PIE?! HAHAHA! Just kidding, that’s not even her under all that shit on the face.

Shannon Elizabeth, Edward Furlong, and Monica Keena. HOW COULD YOU GO WRONG?! Oops, I meant right. How could you go right. Hopefully they knew it was a B-Movie and just signed on to have a good time, but I hear that Shannon Elizabeth, whose character turns into a demon early on, didn’t even wear the makeup. What else did she have going on?  Did she have to film 14 Ghosts? Heh, Matthew Lillard humor. Anyways, I kind of just felt bad for these actors because they all had a shot at becoming bigger stars than they actually became. Shannon Elizabeth will probably always be known as nothing more than the chick who got naked in American Pie. Monica Keena was in Freddy vs. Jason, which was mildly successful, and then went on to guest star in Entourage. Hold on a second, I have to clean the vomit off my keyboard from the amount douche baggery I felt from typing “Entourage”. Edward Furlong was in Terminator 2…and was awesome! I don’t have anything bad to say about it, it seems like he just wasn’t too interested in becoming a major Hollywood player. At least all of these second-rate actors found a movie to get together and have fun working on…in theory.

I’m sure that Edward Furlong agrees that this film needed more Guns N’ Roses.

I feel like I’m forgetting something…oh yeah! I haven’t talked about the movie at all! It’s not that good, but then again, the plot of the original isn’t that good either. You once again have demons without clear rules of what they’re capable of, which keeps you guessing, and the production value of this was much higher, so the special effects were a lot more gnarly, but there wasn’t much heart in it. The first one was fun in a nostalgic way, but this one just seemed to be going through the motions. There was a scene where a demon bit a large breasted woman’s boob off and then immediately tore off her face, which was kind of awesome. They also updated the lipstick scene from the first film, where Linnea Quigley shoves a tube of lipstick into her boob. This time around they had Diora Baird, who yes, once again, was awesome as always, shoving a tube of lipstick into her boob and pulled it out of her vagina, along with a shit ton of blood and goopy red stuff. Brutal. Linnea Quigley did have an appearance in this movie, bending over with a short skirt, the same way she did 20 years ago in the original. There were a few other cameos from stars from the original, so it seemed the creators had their hearts in the right place, but it was missing something. I’m sure some people might have a lot of fun with this, but I am not one of those people.

Wolfman Moon Scale