Rob Zombie‘s shitfest part 2, or as the French would say, part deux. We pick up where we left off, with Laurie surviving the previous attack and being taken to the hospital. There’s another one of those fake-out deaths by Michael Myers, who kills the paramedics and makes his way to the hospital where Laurie is. He kills his way back to her, and takes an axe, and then right as he smashes her head open, she wakes up from a dream. I guess Danielle Harris‘s character from the first film survived, and her dad was the sheriff, and he adopted Laurie. She is obviously having problems, and spends a lot of time complaining about that. Michael is alive I guess and escapes, and has this big bushy beard. There’s this stupid shit where he has three versions of himself? Or something? He comes back after Laurie, and Dr. Loomis, once again played by Malcolm McDowell, is selling a book about his experiences with Michael, and people are pissed about him making money that way. There’s a hostage situation or something involving Loomis, Michael, and Laurie? I guess Loomis gets killed, and Michael gets shot, then Laurie stabs Michael in the face, and then goes to a psychiatric ward. EVERYBODY IS FUCKED BECAUSE WE WASTED OUR TIME WITH THIS MOVIE.

We’ve gone from the terrifying Michael Myers to Beardy Joe….great.

MAKE UP YOUR FUCKING MIND, MR. ZOMBIE. Remember that dream sequence I was talking about? Yeah, that lasted 30 minutes. As if the first film he did wasn’t bad enough with the double movie plot thing, this film COMPLETELY WASTED the first 30 minutes with a dream sequence. What was the fucking point? CHOOSE ONE FUCKING PLOT. If you were to disregard the first 30 minutes, it plays as a somewhat normal storyline. One problem? The stupid bullshit about Michael imagining his mom being with him, also imagining himself as a child being there with him? So fucking stupid. I guess the last 90 minutes weren’t really redeeming or entertaining, but at least had they cut out those first, pointless 30 minutes, I could have shut this movie off 30 minutes earlier.

Wolfman Moon Scale