Wait a second, those aren’t the real lyrics! Dammit, I should start this post over. But ya know what? While we’re on the subject, I’d just like to point out how fucking stupid it is that (racist) people are upset over the new Spider-Man of the “Ultimate” universe, Miles Morales. Let’s take it back a little bit, back to the year 1999. That’s the year that the first X-Men movie was released, which ended up being a huge success for Marvel. Sadly, the box office sales didn’t translate to more people buying comic books, because those people who knew nothing of comics had no idea where to start. The following year, Marvel released two brand new series, which were “Ultimate X-Men” and “Ultimate Spider-Man”. The goal of these was an updated, more contemporary retelling of the origin of these characters, and a way to change up some things that seemed a little wonky in retrospect. Ultimate Spider-Man was the more successful of these series and just recently ended a few months ago with issue #160. Only a few months after the death, it was announced that in this Ultimate universe of Marvel, a new Spider-Man, who wasn’t Peter Parker, was taking his place. That new Spider-Man is Miles Morales, a teenager of both African-American and Hispanic descent. THAT’S WHEN SHIT WENT CRAZY AND RACIST. Lots of comments all over the internet started appearing that started off with “I’m not racist, but…”, and there’s nothing that could follow that statement that didn’t immediately make that person sound racist. I only read the first 20 or so issues of Ultimate Spider-Man, and considering I had been reading Amazing Spider-Man for a while, I didn’t really like it. I didn’t give a shit that he died, I didn’t give a shit that he was being replaced. In my mind, Peter Parker IS Spider-Man, and any other person who puts on the suit isn’t necessarily Spider-Man. The same way I feel that Bruce Wayne is Batman, and even if Dick Grayson wears a Batman suit, it’s not the same thing. Let’s keep in mind that the Ultimate version of this universe was created to do things that you couldn’t do in the normal Marvel world. And even if this was happening in the world of Amazing Spider-Man, there have already been multiple people to have taken up the Spider-Man mantle in Peter’s absence. It reminds me a little bit about the controversy over in Amazing Spider-Man and the writer at the time, J. Michael Straczynski, was ending his run. That last storyline involved most of what had happened in the storyline being reset by about 15-20 years, and then a new writer took over. I understood people being pissed about it, because it took the book into a different direction, with a different creative team, and some people just weren’t interested. As far as with Ultimate Spider-Man, Brian Michael Bendis, the one who created the series, is still going to be the one writing it. WHAT THE FUCK, PEOPLE?! How fucking dare they take a comic book title that was designed to make changes and updates to characters we love so that the original characters we love don’t go through drastic changes, and even though the creator has made this decision and is STILL going to write it, you complain that he’s black/hispanic? Fuck you, you stupid racists. Find other things to complain about.