I don’t quite remember why the fuck I ended up watching this movie, but I sure as hell did. Most likely it was because I had found some list on underrated horror movies or some bullshit like that. Yeah, that sounds like something I would do. One problem with that is I get my hands on all these horror movies at once and I don’t remember what each one is about or which ones are supposed to be better than others or why on Earth I am watching it in the first place. The decision process eventually comes down to Rampaige, who asks me to tell her what the movies are about, and when I can’t do that, she relies on which title she likes the best. She chose this one because she said it “sounded most like it had something to do with dogs,” which I’d say is as good a reason as any. Sadly, there were no dogs involved. Can’t win ’em all, I guess.

Oh please I hope all of these characters survive! They are oh so very charming and three-dimensional!

The movie starts with a couple at some sort of “makeout point” or “lover’s lane” type of place, and when they hear a strange noise, the guy gets out of the car and is killed by a psycho. THERE’S A SHOCKER. Jump to some measurement of time after this event, and a group of five people are going the direction of where these events took place so they can celebrate one of them moving to a different country. Sadly, their car breaks down, but a woman who lives nearby offers to help them so they wouldn’t be stranded in the middle of nowhere. While all of these characters are at this woman’s house, they recount the story of the killer from the opening of the film. I guess a kid was chained up to a tree outside because his dad had returned home to see his wife cheating on him, so in addition to killing the wife, he chained the kid up outside. The kid grew up by eating nearby animals, and–HOLY SHIT THERE’S A LOT GOING ON IN THIS STORY. Totally not worth this much backstory. Anyways, it turns out that the killer’s sister was the girl who picked up the friends and she was setting them up to be killed. Don’t worry, one of the people who was going to the cabin was the sole survivor of the whole ordeal because everyone else was killed. Yeah, that gets the point across.

Image completely unrelated, but it was hard as shit finding any pictures from this movie, and this DVD cover is more entertaining than anything in the movie anyway.

Even though I got bored halfway through the summary of this movie, the only thing it had going for it was the story. Considering the woman who offered a ride to the strangers seemed normal, it was kind of a surprise that she was involved in the murders. I think some of the death scenes might have been pretty cool as far as special effects go, but other than that, there weren’t many redeeming qualities for it. I think that as I watch more and more horror movies and discover more things I like about them, I am realizing how important it is to establish characters as people you want to watch. That’s something that was seriously lacking in this movie, that you either completely disliked the characters, or at best, tolerated them. Watching a movie where you merely tolerate a character is never going to be a movie worth watching, and this movie was no exception.

Wolfman Moon Scale