As you’ll remember from my review of Blood Rage, I’m trying to crank out as many Thanksgiving related movies as I can this week. Next up was Home Sweet Home, also known as Slasher in the House and Bloodparty. Wait, BLOODPARTY?! That’s clearly the best name of them all and not referring to this movie officially as Bloodparty is already making me super sad. Thanksgiving isn’t supposed to make me sad! This is another movie from the 80’s I’d never really heard of but popped up in my Thanksgiving research. It’s also another slasher that really doesn’t have much to do with the holiday other than giving its victims a reason to all be together in one place. Whoops, is that a spoiler? Well, get used to it because there’s some more spoilers where that came from! The spoiler-free review is that this movie is laughably bad and drags at times, but it’s just entertaining enough to be watchable.

HAHAHAHA LOOK AT THIS FUCKING NUTCASE. WHY DOES HIS FACE AND NECK LOOK LIKE THIS?!

The first scene in this movie involves a guy driving a car looking directly into the camera and offering us beer, only to show the reverse shot of a muscley Lou Ferrigno looking guy strangle the guy in a car to death. If that wasn’t an intense enough way to start the movie, this nutcase then shoots up into his tongue. The radio informs us that he’s an escaped mental patient with a fondness for PCP, which is a terrible combination. Well, maybe it’s awesome for that guy, but not for anyone hoping to stay alive. This mental patient steals the car, runs over an old lady in a crosswalk, and finds himself a get together at a house in the woods, because it’s Thanksgiving and all. He cuts power to the house before starting to kill partygoers one at a time. There isn’t much reason for him doing what he’s doing, he’s just killing people. I guess it takes him so long to kill people that this murder rampage lasts long enough for the police to show up and shoot him before he kills the last person standing, only for the movie to end with the killer opening his eyes! He’s not dead! Happy Thanksgiving!

Rock…and…roll? You kids today and your shirts with chains printed on them! In my day, we had to wear our own chains!

Yes, Home Sweet Home was pretty boring and was full of stuff that we’ve seen countless times, but that isn’t to say that there aren’t some hilarious things in it. The killer himself, Jake Steinfeld, just straight up looks nuts. Not necessarily insane, but he’s got this weird afro mullet thing going on and wears a shirt made for a child. The intensity at which the movie starts off is entertaining and definitely buys itself an opportunity for me to sit through the whole thing. I should mention that after the crazy guy shoots PCP into his tongue, he sees an old lady comically crossing the street and dropping things that she has to pick up. Would you believe this lunatic speeds up to run her over?! HE DOES! And it happens with this weird freezeframe zoom thing as soon as he makes contact with her and it’s just her screaming face. One of the victims at the party is a guy carrying around an electric guitar who is just always doing guitar solos and is wearing facepaint like a mime, along with a shirt that has rips all over it and chains. I…I just don’t know what the hell to make of him. He only takes breaks from guitar solos to perform magic though, so, he’s obviously a cool dude. The soundtrack was pretty goofy sounding, so the movie obviously had a sense of humor about itself and how dumb it was. There was also a scene where a guy was leaning under the hood of his car to change the battery when the killer comes from OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE AND JUMPS ON THE HOOD. Not like, stomps, but bodyslams. He looks like a wrestler and it came from out of nowhere and was amazing. There are a few redeemable things in the movie that might make it fun to watch with a bunch of friends, but definitely isn’t entertaining enough for me to watch again by myself. Instead, because of how valuable my time is, I’ll go back to watching the same episodes of Parks and Recreation that I’ve seen a hundred times already.

Wolfman Moon Scale