HOLY SHIT, THIS ONE DOESN’T HAVE THE WORD “DREAM” IN THE TITLE! Fuck me, we’re making progress. Back to the task at hand, this shitty piece of fuck. Freddy is back at it again, but apparently it is established that he can’t leave the town he terrorizes people in, for no real reason. One kid escapes from Freddy, only to bump his head and forget where he is from. He is taken to an orphanage and one of the women who works there finds a newspaper clipping in his pocket and tries to travel back to the town, Springwood, with some stowaways that just wanted to leave the orphanage. When they finally get to Springwood, people start falling asleep and, big surprise, dying. And yes, that includes Freddy taking over someone’s dream and putting them into a videogame world? Somehow people learn that Freddy was abused as a child, self-mutilated as a teen, and murdered his wife, but not before having a child of his own. Guess what? That child is the woman who works at the orphanage! We also learn that right before he was burned alive, he made a deal with these little demon things which were what give him his powers, but then he is brought into the real world and his daughter blows him up with a pipe bomb, and the movie ends right after she looks at the camera and says, “Freddy’s dead.” I wonder if they planned to have the last line of the movie be the title, or if that was just a coincidence…

WHY AM I ONLY JUST NOW REMEMBERING THAT HE TURNS HIS CLAW HAND GLOVE INTO A GODDAMN POWERGLOVE FOR VIDEOGAMES. POWERGLOVE…IT’S SO BAD.

SHITTY PILE OF SHIT. That’s what this movie was. But you know what? It’s going to get a better rating than the previous two films. The main reason being that, even though it made no sense, the last thirty minutes finally explained how he could do what he could do. This is the ONLY explanation we got of how he could come into people’s dreams and manipulate them. Up until this point, all the back story we knew was that he raped/killed/was a jerk to little kids, parents took vengeance into their hands, and now he is invading their dreams. I’m sure some people will argue, “No way man, the mystery of Freddy is what was so cool!” Fuck that. And fuck them for saying that. Michael Myers didn’t need a back story because he was a physical being. Jason Voorhees didn’t need a back story because we knew he was some sort of zombie ghost monster thing. Freddy? HOW CAN HE EXIST IN THE PSYCHOLOGICAL AND PHYSICAL REALM AND DO THE THINGS HE DOES! Oh, he was given power by fire demons? Yeah, that’s okay with me.

Wolfman Moon Scale