Don’t forget everybody, some of these franchise reviews might be a little shorter, and this one is no exception. This film opens with a recap of the ending of the first movie, in case you forgot I guess? Then we’re back at Camp Crystal Lake telling scary stories. People start dying, again, and this time it’s caused by a guy with a burlap sack on his head. We find out that this time it’s Jason Voorhees, who has witnessed his mom getting her head chopped off. He even keeps the head in his shitty cabin! There’s running and climbing and killing, and again, a female counselor has a final confrontation. Remembering that Jason was apparently retarded, she sees his mom’s sweater and starts ordering Jason around, pretending to be his mom. This works long enough to attack him with a machete, escape, and leave him for dead.

You should probably keep that bag on, you Eric Stoltz looking mother fucker.

Once again, I have to pretend like I didn’t know that Jason was the killer, and with that in mind, you’ve got a fun movie. They already established that he was dead, so maybe it’s now his dad that’s seeking revenge? And maybe it’s not good to poke fun at retarded peo–wait, I should be politically correct…it’s not good to poke fun at RETARDS, but it made for a useful device of distraction in this film. Boy, those retards will fall for anything! Other than that one trick, it’s pretty typical of a slasher film. Boobs, sex, drinking, and they even included a kid in a wheelchair in this one! You just have to pretend to not laugh when he falls backwards down the stairs after being chopped by Jason…heehee!

Wolfman Moon Scale