Fucking finally, I can be finished with all of this bullshit. The film starts with a group of friends at the funeral of their other friend, who apparently killed himself after becoming addicted with some online videogame called “Hellworld“. Weird how the movie is named after this game. Anyways, a few years later, the friends are still playing this game, and through unlocking a virtual puzzle cube, they are invited to attend a Hellworld party. When they get there, they find that, big surprise, it’s a party filled with alcohol, leather, and sex, and everyone is pretty stoked. They meet the host of the party, played by Lance Henriksen, who has a large collection of Cenobite paraphernalia and he tells them a little about the party, and how everyone gets a cell phone and a mask with a number on it, so people can call each others’ masks? Or something? The friends start getting singled out, one by one, in different rooms of the house, and meet their unfortunate demise, generally at the hands of Pinhead. Two of the friends survive, and after interrogating the host, they realize that the host is the father of the friend who killed himself, and the whole Hellworld party was set up to get revenge on the friends. The other friends weren’t actually killed by Pinhead, the host merely drugged them, and were buried alive, and using the cell phones, the host was able to influence their hallucinations and they ended up dying. The cops show up before the host can kill the final two friends, and while wondering where the call came from, one of the friends looks into the house and sees the ghost of the friend who was dead in the beginning of the movie. The father has escaped, but while playing with a puzzle cube, he unlocks it and then Pinhead and friends show up to kill him. The end of the movie shows the two friends driving somewhere, then getting a vision of the father in their backseat trying to kill them, only to be imaginary, and the hotel room where the father was killed by Pinhead shows the room covered in blood, including the puzzle box. What the fuck did that have to do with anything?
Oh no, it’s your friend whose name I don’t remember either!
As petty as it may sound, or as Tom Petty as it may sound, those last two minutes of nonsense completely ruined this movie. Not that it was good to begin with or anything, but it was just so nonsensical that I can’t give it a favorable review anymore. This movie was filmed right after the previous one was, and the script for this one was never even intended to be a Hellraiser movie. They just changed some of the ideas and concepts behind it to arbitrarily throw Pinhead into the mix so that the name “Hellraiser” could hopefully result in a little bit more money. It’s apparent that it has nothing to do with Hellraiser right from the beginning, and it was relatively entertaining because it was detached from the rest of the mythos of the series. This was also the first time in a while that the cast seemed relatively young, whereas the rest of the films mostly deal with adults as the main characters, which hasn’t really happened since the first couple of movies. I don’t really care either way, just something I noticed. I wouldn’t have had a problem with the ending if it wasn’t such a stupid fucking way to tie this into the rest of the series, and it’s about time that one of these movies gets my lowest rating. See ya later, Hellraiser, you can fuck right off.
Wolfman Moon Scale
Jokes on you sucker! There is one more. Hasn’t been released to DVD yet, may never be, but if you want to be complete, you better track it down.
YES! Thank you Jamie. I’m glad someone pointed this out. The Wolfman thinks he can just phone it in on this incredible series, and expect his fans not to notice.
And speaking of which, as petty as this may sound, that last sentence of the review completely ruined it for me because there IS another installment!!! Try as you might, but you just can’t fuck off The HELLRAISER!!!!!
WOLFGANG. IT ONLY PLAYED IN ONE THEATER. AND MIGHT NEVER SEE THE LIGHT OF DAY. I AM OKAY WITH MY LIFE CHOICES!!!!!!!
Considering it only played in ONE theater, there might not be any copies of it to ever hit the home theater market. And if I consider not seeing that one as not completing the series, I would also have to track down the Prophecy vs. Hellraiser bullshit. But ya know what? I’m okay with not seeing Hellraiser: Revelations, and instead bumped the Tom Sizemore film “Zzzyxx” higher up in my queue.
And don’t forget the upcoming REBOOT! Also, what about the new comic? And, may I add, kudos on the proliferation of posts lately. Finally, in conclusion, you only get an imaginary $3 for nonsensical this time.
I wouldn’t consider anything that hypothetically exists as part of the franchise, because the way I see it, if I can’t get it through Netflix at this point in time, why bother?! I mean, I might end up seeing those movies eventually, but I am cenobited OUT.