Whose fucking idea was it to make the three words of the title one goddamned word? Not mine, that’s for sure. And as a warning, no, it isn’t really significant to the story. Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself here, just wanted to clear things up. This movie was being promoted by Bloody Disgusting as being some of the best in independent horror, in part thanks to AMC theaters. Each month there is a new independent horror movie being shown only in AMC theaters, and as was the case with this movie, only shown twice a week. If it’s only being shown twice a week, how could that possibly mean it’s bad?! Only the very best movies get two showtimes a week! Well, I guess because JD and I kind of felt bad that no one else would go, we took it upon ourselves to try to support independent horror. And ya know what? The description of this movie actually sounded kind of creepy! So here’s what happened!
I couldn’t think of a funny caption for this one, and when I asked for Rampaige’s help, her response was “GIMME THE BEANS…OR I’M GONNA RIP MY HEAD OFF!”
According to this movie, there was a small town back in the 40’s that had all of its residents get dressed in their finest clothes and start walking into the woods, only to all be found dead, mysteriously. This really intrigued a few people who decided to walk the trail into the woods that the people of this town had walked and document what happened. According to their research, the GPS coordinates directed them to start their trail at a movie theater, and everyone got confused. That is, of course, until an employee mentioned knowing where the trail started, and she directed everyone to the beginning of the trail, which was a rock that had the words “YELLOW BRICK ROW” carved onto it. The further and further these people get on the trail, the more and more irritable they get, due in part to the fact that the coordinates and destinations and things like that aren’t matching up. For example, despite their calculations saying that they had walked 15 miles in one direction, looking back, it would say they had walked only 8, or sometimes 30 miles. One guy gets crazy enough to kill another woman on the trip, and he takes off into the woods. The rest of the film shows the “walkers” descending further and further into madness, with some of the members insisting upon continuing the trail, while others decide to find their own way out. Eventually all of the people kill each other or eat poison berries, and only one guy follows the trail to the “end”. When he gets to the end, he is back at the movie theater, and then he just sits in the theater screaming while strange images are shown onscreen. Womp womp.
Why ya gotta go and eat them berries you dumb fucking idiot?!
Just the description of why the people went on this voyage on the first place intrigued me, but sadly, I learned nothing about what happened to any of them. It’s interesting how the movie had the characters taking one step forward, only to then appear as if it would take two steps to get back to where they started, because for every one thing I enjoyed about the movie, there were two things I didn’t enjoy. As far as the writing and acting is concerned, I’ll give them a few exceptions, considering it was a very limited budget. One thing I liked was that there was one scene where music started playing, and everyone heard it, and it continued to be played and be heard throughout the entire forest. It was just kind of creepy because no one knew where it was coming from or how it seemed to follow them. However, the ending made very little sense in any sort of context and they were just so incredibly vague about anything that was going on, to the point of confusion. One good thing, two bad things. I guess I would describe this movie as a combination of Session 9, which I enjoy, and The Blair Witch Project, which I enjoy, with something that I don’t enjoy. It had some interesting ideas and premises that just didn’t pay off for me the way I had hoped, but I predict some people might enjoy this style of filmmaking a little more than I do.
Wolfman Moon Scale