You guys know I love anthologies, right? Whether it be TV or film, I love being able to watch short horror/sci-fi stories that need to tell you the beginning, middle, and end of a story with a limited time frame. When the story is bad, it’s over that much more quickly, and you can move on. When it’s good, you can get right to the point without needing any filler. George Romero is presenting us with a new, straight-to-video horror anthology called “Deadtime Stories”. He didn’t write or produce it, I think he is just getting paid royalties to have his name smashed in front of the title arbitrarily. To honor the release, the website Bloody Disgusting is running a contest that’s right up my alley. Here’s a link to the article, but I’ll just copy/paste the good stuff:
“Horror anthologies appear to making a comeback (with Trick ‘r Treat and the ABC’s of Death on the horizon), so we thought it would be fun to do a remixed giveaway for Millennium Entertainment’s forthcoming George A. Romero Presents Deadtime Stories Volume 1.
To enter to win one of 5 copies of the DVD (in stores July 12) put DEADTIME REMIX in the subject line and then send the following information to firstname.lastname@example.org:
-Your full name
-Then create your own anthology “playlist”. List your 4 favorite short films from any established horror anthology (examples: Trick ‘r Treat, Creepshow, Black Sabath, Three Extremes, etc ) ever made. Elements like order of short and director could come into play when deciding the ultimate collective anthology.
Winners will be chosen and contacted on July 12. Must live in the U.S.”
I encourage everyone who reads this blog to submit their own entry to that email address, as well as post it as a comment. I’m sure that there will be, well, probably one person who posts their list, but this could get fun! And let me guess, you want to know what I chose, right? Well here, I’ll tell you! Just don’t, ya know, copy and steal it, because they’ll know you’re a thief.
“Something to Tide You Over” – Creepshow
My initial reaction was to include “The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill” rather than this one, but I think it might be a little too comedic. I was also tempted to say that it was a little too “light”, but, well, it’s not. The last bit of dialogue after Stephen King has turned into a vegetation monster and his desire to be lucky “just this once” when it comes to shooting himself in the head is tragic, depressing, and unsettling. However, the affable Jordy Verrill might send the wrong tone, which is why I opted for the jealous lover/zombie Ted Danson story instead.
“The Drop of Water” – Black Sabbath
I had to look up the name of this one because I had no fucking clue what it was called, I just knew it had to do with a ring. Also, upon further investigation, I got excited about the contest and sent them the wrong name. Dammit! Oh well. Anyways, a powerful medium dies, and when a nurse comes to prepare the body, she also steals a ring off of the medium’s body. When she gets home, she is haunted by the medium, and eventually she strangles herself, thinking it’s the medium’s spirit. Pretty typical spooky ghost story, made all the more frightening by that fucking doll that plays the dead lady. That shit will haunt you forever.
“Lover’s Vow” – Tales from the Dark Side: The Movie
This shitty artist leaves a bar and in an alley, he sees a fucking gargoyle monster kill someone. The gargoyle sees the artist, scratches him in the gut, and says that if he tells anyone, he’ll kill the shit out of him. Later that night, the artist meets a woman and totally bones her. Not only that, but he also marries her and has two kids with her. After channeling the gargoyle and drawing pictures of it, the artist gets popular. After feeling so guilty for the past ten years of never telling anyone what he saw, he finally confesses to what happened the night the two met. She then starts turning into THE VERY SAME FUCKING GARGOYLE. And she’s pissed that he’s told someone what he was sworn to never tell. The kids turn into gargoyles too! The wife kills the artist, all the gargoyles fly out through the ceiling, and then turn to stone perched on top of a roof.
“Meet Sam” – Trick ‘r Treat
Again, this was another battle with my immediate instinct. At first, I thought maybe I should include “The School Bus Massacre Revisited” because seeing all those kids in those masks was fucking creepy. However, because I had a flashback to an old episode of the Tales from the Dark Side TV show, I wanted to include this one. Both the episode and this short were about an old man being tortured by a weird little Halloween demon for their lack of holiday spirit. However, since that wasn’t a movie, this story won in the end. Added bonus is that the guy who is tortured turns out to be the bus driver from the School Bus Massacre so it is still pretty closely related.
I’m noticing that most of these stories are about people who had done something shitty, only to get what’s coming to them. The Ted Danson zombie was drowned by Leslie Nielsen, which is why he came back for revenge. The Drop of Water as well as Meet Sam were also related to people who had done shitty things like stole from a dead person or drowned a whole bus full of retarded kids, so they deserved it. I think the reason why I included the Lover’s Vow was because it comes from out of nowhere. I’m sure that now after reading what happens and me spoiling the ending won’t give you quite the appreciation I had, but I was pretty shocked by it. Also the fact that this guy didn’t really do anything wrong, other than break a truce with a gargoyle, is what gives you some sympathy towards him when his wife and children turn into gargoyles. Hopefully you liked my list, but even if you don’t, I don’t care, because I like it, but I look forward to reading other people’s lists!