The seventh movie in the franchise has finally done what no other films in the series had done yet, which is finally cast Kari Wuhrer. Supposedly her character has a name, but that is really not at all important in any way, shape, or form. She plays a reporter sent to investigate some cult where people kill themselves and I guess are being brought back to life somehow. She does some investigating and finds out of this chick who killed herself and she is holding the puzzle box! Oh no, Pinhead is involved! She has strange visions of being stabbed and also manages to find a reason to be topless. Kari does more investigating and apparently is dumb enough to get tricked into thinking she should kill herself, but that’s when Pinhead and his Cenobite pals show up and they are pissed at the cult leader. I guess that because these people are dying, and this cult guy is taking them back, the Cenobites are jealous that they don’t get to torture them or something? Anyways, the Cenobites kill him and threaten to take Ms. Wuhrer, but she instead kills herself, which is the answer to most of life’s problems, and the Cenobites get cranky and leave. Before the credits roll, we see Kari’s boss that gave her the tip on the story in the beginning, and he gives the same exact information to a new lady reporter! And it all starts over again! Noooooo!
Poor, poor Kari. If only Jerry O’ Connell were there to save you.
I really just wish this franchise would swing one way or another. These aren’t the worst movies I’ve ever seen, and are generally better than all the other movies in most of those other franchises, but it’s fucking annoying that I don’t really care either way on any of these movies. There is nothing wrong with the concept, or the way any of these movies are shot, or the actors, or the script, because these things are all generally pretty successful and consistent with all the other movies in the franchise. I just want to have some sort of emotional response, whether it be positive or negative. Also, holy shit, I just looked it up and Thursday, April 27th, was Kari Wuhrer’s 43rd birthday. Good for her for still finding reasons to be topless in movies. Although, I guess this movie is seven years old, so she was only 36, but, wow, she’s old.
Wolfman Moon Scale