This one gets to the boobs and killing right away, showing Jason chasing after a naked lady, only to realize she was bait for some military task force who blow him the fuck up. At the morgue where his remains are sent, the coroner eats Jason’s heart and becomes possessed by the demon (?) of Jason. He kills people and transfers this demon into other people by kissing them (?) and the demon passes into that person like it’s a snake/worm thing (?). Somehow it is determined that Jason can be resurrected if the demon inhabits one of his relatives, and can only be killed by a relative. Long story short, he doesn’t get the chance to possess any member of the Voorhees family, and is instead stabbed by a magical dagger that sends him to hell. We see demon hands dragging him down, and the only thing that is left on a pile of dirt is Jason’s hockey mask…..ONLY TO SEE FREDDY KRUEGER’S HAND PUNCH THROUGH THE DIRT AND DRAG THE MASK TO HELL! OH NO!

BEAM THAT COCKSUCKER UP TO THE MOTHERSHIP. And apparently his mask is now FUSED to his face….for some reason. Oh, okay.

Guess what?! This one sucks too! I guess it sucks in the way that the previous movie sucked, in that it was awful and terrible, but at least there were some things to point out that were kind of neat. One of those is the fact that the main character, well, the one that isn’t Jason, reads the Necronomicon that was featured in The Evil Dead series. I tried to find a little bit more info on how it made its way into the movie, but the trivia section on IMDb was just fucking confusing. Another little nod to awesome horror movies is that there is a crate in the old Voorhees house with the name “Carpenter” on it, a reference to John Carpenter, and it also says “Arctic Expedition”, which is a reference to “The Crate” segment in Creepshow. Clearly the people behind this movie had some idea of what good horror was, since they referenced some great films, but this one still sucked, and nobody needs to watch it.

Wolfman Moon Scale