Holy shit! When was the last time I made a list about something?! Well, the time has come for me to write you guys a list, and what better list to post today than a list of my favorite movies that happen on Halloween? Let’s just get a few things straight right off the bat; the movies on this list aren’t my favorite movies in the Halloween franchise because that list would only have two movies on it. Also, these aren’t  my favorite movies that happen to take place on Halloween. Instead, these are movies that I really enjoy and the idea of Halloween is a central theme to the movie. Make sense? No? Whatever, you’ll see what I mean once I get the list started.

5) Monster House (2006)

It was tough to choose which kids movie I wanted to include on the list, and even though it’s not necessarily a “horror” film, I think most people have stronger memories of Halloween when we were kids than we do as adults. I try to watch this movie every year around Halloween, along with Spooky Buddies, Hocus Pocus, and going forward, ParaNorman, and since this is MY list, I get to put anything I want on it. DJ suspects something weird is going on at his neighbor’s house when he believes he sees kids being “eaten” by the house, so when his parents go out on Halloween, DJ and his best friend Chowder decide it’s the perfect night to explore the house and get to the bottom of the mystery. The film really conveys that idea of being a kid with the whole night ahead of you while you’re running around and having a good time with your friends, regardless of what night of the week it is. Once DJ and Chowder get to the bottom of the mystery, Monster House makes sure they still have the time to go out trick or treating, which is a major component in the fun of Halloween.

4) Halloween (1978)

WHOA WHOA WHOA GUYS, TAKE IT EASY, LET ME EXPLAIN. Out of all of the movies on the list, I’d say this one is my favorite. However, I can highly enjoy this movie any time of the year, which is a little bit different from the other movies on the list. Remember when I said that all of these movies were chosen because they most reminded me OF Halloween? I don’t think I’m alone in saying that the events of this movie could have taken place any time of the year. The reason this stuff happens on Halloween is because Michael Myers originally killed his older sister on Halloween, without a direct correlation to why he did it on Halloween, and the reason he came back to his hometown was because it was the anniversary of the murder, which happened to be on Halloween. Were he to have killed his sister on October 30th or November 1st, this movie would have been just as good, but it just happens to take place on Halloween. I’m sure that in one of its many sequels there’s an explanation as to why things took place on Halloween, but as far as the first installment of the series goes, it could have been any day. But, then again, how fucking awesome is this movie? Halloween gave you a reason to think that there really was a “Boogeyman” that was watching you while you were going about your day, and that person that you thought you saw staring creepily at you? Yeah, well, he was really there, and he’s going to try to fucking kill you.

3) Night of the Demons (1988)

Although it’s definitely more of a campy horror movie, it’s still heavy on the Halloween-ness. If you’re a coed in the late 80’s and you want to go to a party on Halloween night, where else would you go but an abandoned funeral parlor?! You’re able to take a whole bunch of different horror movie archetypes and push them to the Nth degree by putting them in costumes that mimic their personalities and just watch those characters bounce things off of one another. With it being Halloween and these horny freaks wanting to prove who is the most badass, they all kind of push each other into playing an urban legend type of game that actually leads to unleashing demons. Nobody actually has parties in abandoned funeral homes, none of these characters would be the last people at a Halloween party, but when you were in college, you really thought that every party you went to would be as cool as the party in Night of the Demons.

2) Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

If you know anything about me, you know that I fucking love Halloween III: Season of the Witch. Even though I love the original Halloween, after establishing that Michael Myers was just kind of an anonymous, evil dickhead, he didn’t need to be involved in any other of the movies. Because of how successful the first movie was, the studio pressured John Carpenter into getting involved in the second one. When it came to the third, Carpenter said he’s only be involved if Michael Myers had nothing to do with it. John Carpenter, the creator of Michael Myers, didn’t want him to be in more than those first two movies. If that isn’t telling of the franchise, I don’t know what is. Instead, we get to see an evil company who is making masks to prepare for Halloween. Although all the masks are awesome, there’s a secret chip built into it that is activated during a special commercial that airs on Halloween night. Because this movie takes place the week before Halloween, we are constantly being reminded of how many more days it is until Halloween, and I’m sure most horror fans are like me, and that countdown is one of the things we anticipate every year. Also, like most Halloween fans, along with the excitement of that countdown getting closer to zero, comes to crippling depression that the number that comes after zero is 364.

1) Trick ‘r Treat (2007)

Although it’s only been five years since its release, I think we’ll see this film standing the test of time when it comes to future generations enjoying Halloween movies. Guys, again, can we remember what the point of this list is? I’m not trying to say that Trick ‘r Treat is a better movie than the original Halloween, I’m just trying to say that each one of the stories directly relates to Halloween and the different stories, themes, and emotions that most people connect with Halloween. We have one story that shows that dangers of accepting candy from strangers, another story about trying to bully a kid using a scary story, a segment that shows how different people can be from the costumes they wear, and another story that tells you what happens when you don’t follow the most important rule of Halloween, which is also the title of the movie, that if you don’t provide treats, you’ll get tricks. You’ll get tricks right up the fucking ass. This film runs the gamut, manages to be scary, sexy, silly, and spooky, but most of all, it’s fun. I’m glad to see the movie getting more exposure by playing on FEARnet for 24 hours on Halloween, but I hope the movie isn’t pushed too hard, too fast so that it loses that, dare I say, haunting quality about it. If you haven’t seen this movie yet, and you don’t have any other plans on Halloween, do yourselves a favor and check it out. YOU’RE GONNA LOVE IT OR YOUR MONEY BACK!

Well, boils and ghouls, that brings another Halloween to a close. Whatever you guys do today, tonight, whatever, however you celebrate, however you don’t celebrate, just make sure it’s all in good fun. Halloween is a time when you have permission to act like a kid again, and everyone who uses as an excuse to get drunk in a funny costume is just a dumb asshole. Don’t let those assholes ruin things for you. Halloween belongs to us. Also, check out this video from Low Carb Comedy that just came out today that a had a “hand” in making. Hahahaha, it’s funny, because my hand’s in it, get it? That’s what I meant. Good jokes, Wolfman.